有時“不錯”好過“完美”
I was inspired by an observation by Voltaire to make my resolution “Don’t let the perfect be the enemy of the good.” In other words, instead of pushing yourself to an impossible “perfect,” and therefore getting nowhere, accept “good.” Many things worth doing are worth doing badly.
I have a friend who never exercises unless she’s training for a marathon; as a consequence, she almost never exercises. I never push myself when I exercise, and although I suspect she scoffs at my wimpy workouts, I’ve managed to get myself to exercise several times a week for years. If I’d tried to have a more ambitious workout, I’m sure I wouldn’t have exercised at all.
Along the same lines, I told a friend that one of my happiness-project resolutions was to "remember birthdays," and so I was sending out happy-birthday e-mails. He said, "Oh, you shouldn't e-mail! You should call or write a hand-written note; that's much nicer." True—but I won't. And it's better to get something done imperfectly than to do nothing perfectly.
The perfect can also become the enemy of the good in the quest for perfect information. There are two ways to approach decision-making: as a satisficer (yes, that is a word) or as a maximizer.
Satisficers are those who make a decision or take action once their criteria are met. That doesn’t mean they’ll settle for mediocrity; their criteria can be very high, but as soon as they find the pasta sauce or the business card that has the qualities they want, they’re satisfied. Maximizers want to make the optimal decision. Even if they see a bicycle or a backpack that meets their requirements, they can’t make a decision until after they’ve examined every option, to make the best possible choice. Studies suggest that satisficers tend to be happier than maximizers; maximizers spend a lot more time and energy to reach a decision, and they’re often anxious about whether they did, in fact, make the best choice. (For a fascinating discussion, read Barry Schwartz’s The Paradox of Choice.)
In almost every category, I’m a satisficer, and in fact, I often felt guilty about not doing more research before making decisions. But it’s one of my Secrets of Adulthood: Most decisions don’t require extensive research. In picking a girls’ summer camp, a friend got information from 25 camps and visited five in person. We got information from five camps and picked the one that a friend’s daughter loved. I used to think that my lack of diligence was a sign of laziness, and my resolution “Don’t let the perfect be the enemy of the good” has made me feel a lot better.
In some situations, the happier course is to know when good enough is good enough and not to worry about perfection or making the perfect choice.
伏爾泰曾說過：“別因爲苛求完美而錯過美好的結果。”在這句話的影響下，我決定如此這般行事。換言之，逼迫自己去追逐不可能實現的“完美”而最終一事無成，還不如接受“不錯”。很多事情值得一做，而且非常值得一做。
我的一個朋友除了做馬拉松訓練不願意做任何鍛鍊；結果，她幾乎從不鍛鍊。我從不在鍛鍊時苛求自己，而且儘管相信她會嘲笑我的鍛鍊強度太小，我已經做到多年來每個星期都堅持做幾次。如果我過去爲自己設定高強度的訓練計劃，我想我肯定一點鍛鍊都不曾做。
本着同樣的精神，我告訴一個朋友我的“幸福計劃”方案之一便是“記住別人的生日”，並且我常常在別人生日當天發出祝福的E-mail.他說：“你不應該發電子郵件，你應該打電話或者寄一封手寫信，那才象樣嘛。”他說的的確有道理，不過我不會這麼做。如果對事情的完美要求使我們無法做到的話，還不如去先做出某些結果，就算做得不夠完美。
在尋求信息的時候，完美主義同樣是表現不錯的敵人。做決定時通常有兩種方法，一種是立即行動，一種是盡善盡美。
立即行動者是指那些一旦基本要求得到滿足便立即做出決定或採取行動的人。這樣的行事方法並不意味着他們會甘於成績平庸;他們的標準可以很高，但若一旦發現他們需要的意大利麪醬或者名片等小事物能達到他們的基本要求，他們就不會多加挑剔。而盡善盡美者則希望執行最佳方案,就算他們發現單車和揹包都已經準備好，他們都會猶豫不決，直到他們評估了所有的可能性做出了最佳的選擇。研究表明立即行動者會比盡善盡美者更快樂。盡善盡美者在做決定上花費掉太多的時間和精力，而且事實上他們常常會懷疑是否做出了最佳選擇而焦慮。
幾乎每一個方面，我都算是個立即行動者。而且事實上，我常常因爲沒有在做決定前做大量研究而心有不安。但是這是我作爲成年人總結的獨有心得：大多數的決定都不需要做廣泛的事前研究。在一次爲女兒挑選夏令營的過程中，一個朋友蒐集了25個夏令營的資料而且親自實地考察了5個。而我們不過獲取了5個夏令營的信息就找到了一個朋友的女兒所滿意的。我過去常認爲我不夠面面俱到，體現了自己的懶惰，而“別因爲苛求完美而錯過美好”讓我覺得安心了很多。
在某些情況下，獲得幸福感的方法就是要認識到不錯已經足夠好，而不去苛求事事完美或者做出的抉擇絕對無可挑剔。
