記憶的盒子 The Memory Box

After having been settled in our new home for almost a year, I decided to finish unpacking the last few boxes. Hidden low in the stack was a box simply marked “Nick”. Excitement jolted my empty-nest heart upon seeing the name of my eldest son, who now lives eleven hundred miles away.

搬到新房子快一年了，我才決定把帶過來的最後那幾個盒子都打開整理一下。在這堆盒子底下不起眼的地方，有一個盒子，上面只標註了兩個字：尼克。尼克是我的大兒子，這會兒突然看見他的名字，我本來空落落的心頓時爲之一振：尼克現在可是住在離我1100多英里遠的地方啊。

Delighted, I spent hours poring through the artwork, awards and report cards that propped my memory door wide open and let the days of his childhood come home.

在接下來的幾個小時裏，我帶着愉悅的心情細細地翻看着盒子裏的那些畫兒、獎狀和成績報告單。記憶的大門就此打開，尼克的兒時場景又回到家中，一幕幕在我眼前浮現。

I found his soccer “trading card” at age six and a Mother's Day card from the year he was nine with coupons for extra chores, neck rubs, and breakfast in bed. I found an award Nick won in the second grade for top sales in a school fundraiser. First place in the entire elementary school. Even at the age of seven, he had a way with people. Next I found an envelope addressed to Nick in my own handwriting.

我找到了他六歲時收藏的足球球星“交換卡”，還有他九歲時送給我的母親節賀卡，上面還畫了很多“優惠券”，表示他可以額外提供做家務、幫我揉脖子、送早餐到牀邊等服務。我還找到了尼克上二年級時得的一張獎狀，獎勵他在學校的籌集善款活動中賣東西賣得最多——在全小學裏排名第一。當時他只有七歲，但向人推銷起東西來卻很有一套。接着，我又找到了一個信封，信是寫給尼克的，信封上的筆跡是我的。

“For Nick to read when he is grown,” the envelope said. I have a tradition of writing letters to my kids at different times in their lives and saving them to read when they are older. This particular letter I had written to my son, now age twenty-one, was dated Mother's Day fifteen years ago. He had been in kindergarten, and reading it brought back memories of a day I realized what a truly selfless, kind child I had been blessed with.

信封上寫着“致長大後的尼克”。我有一個習慣，就是在孩子成長的不同階段都給他們寫信，並把這些信都保存下來，留到他們長大以後再讀。現在，尼克已經21歲了，這是我當初寫給他的一封特殊的信，信上的日期是15年前的母親節。那會兒他還在上幼兒園。讀着這封信，我漸漸回想起那天發生的點點滴滴，正是在那一天，我意識到上帝賜給了我一個多麼無私、善良的孩子。

Dear Nicholas,

親愛的尼古拉斯：

Today was Mother's Day. As I watch your beautiful sleeping face, I wanted to write this letter to give you later so you will always know how much joy you bring me.

今天是母親節。我看着你睡夢中漂亮的小臉，突然很想給你寫下這封信，等你長大後交給你。這樣，你就會知道，你給我帶來了多少的歡樂。

You gave me the best present I've ever received today! It has a little story behind it that I will treasure forever. You have been diligently saving your allowance for weeks to buy some material for Grandma to make a teepee for you. You had $7.00 saved last week, but you asked me to take you to a nearby boutique where handmade crafts (which I love!) were sold. You were so cute, watching me as I looked at things, and if I liked something, you would ask how much it cost. We found an adorable little teddy bear with an antique lace collar and a ribbon tied around its neck and a ring attached. You pretended you loved it and even tried on the ring. You were very sneaky for a five year-old! You bought the bear all by yourself and said you were sorry, but you spent all your money and would just make me something for Mother's Day. (I would have loved anything you made!)

今天，你送給了我一份禮物，這是我收到過的最好的禮物！這份禮物的背後有一個小故事，我將會把它永遠珍藏於心。這幾個星期以來，你一直在辛苦地積攢零花錢，爲的是買些布料讓奶奶給你縫一個帳篷。上週，你終於攢夠了七美元，但你卻讓我帶你去附近的一個精品店轉轉，那兒專賣一些手工藝品(是我的最愛！)。你真的好可愛，我看東西的時候，你就在一邊觀察我，要是看見我喜歡什麼，你就會問這東西多少錢。我們發現了一個非常可愛的小泰迪熊：古典的蕾絲領口，脖子上圍了一條絲帶，絲帶上還繫了一枚戒指。你假裝很喜歡這個小熊，甚至還試了試那枚戒指。對於一個只有五歲的孩子來說，你還真挺狡猾的呢！你用自己的錢買下了這隻小熊，還跟我說你很抱歉，但因爲你把自己所有的錢都花了，母親節就只能自己做個禮物送我了。(寶貝，如果真是那樣，那無論你做什麼禮物我都會非常喜歡！)

This morning you woke me up with a big grin and a package wrapped in paper towels and duct tape. You were so proud and excited! There inside was the little bear that I will always treasure. You sacrificed your teepee for me.

今天早晨，你跑來把我叫醒，臉上是燦爛的笑容，手裏拿着一個用紙巾和膠帶包好的包裹。你看上去既自豪又興奮！包裹里正是你買的那隻小熊，它將是我永遠珍藏的寶貝。爲了我，你放棄了你的帳篷。

I am so proud of your sweet, generous spirit and the many ways every single day that you bring me joy. You are truly special and I am honored to be your mom.

我爲你的貼心與慷慨而自豪，更爲你每一天帶給我的快樂而驕傲。你真是一個特別的孩子，能做你的媽媽真是我的榮幸！

Love, Mom

愛你的媽媽

I still have the bear and the little ring. And Nick did get his teepee. I smile at the memories and place my letter for Nick in an envelope to mail to him. I hope reading it will remind him what a miracle he is and how blessed I feel to be his mother.

我到現在還保留着那個小熊和那枚小小的戒指。尼克後來也得到了他的帳篷。想到這一段往事，我欣然微笑，然後把這封我寫給尼克的信裝進了一個信封裏，準備寄給尼克。我希望他讀這封信時能夠知曉：他是怎樣的一個奇蹟；而作爲他的媽媽，我又何其有幸！

Also tucked inside the “Nick” box was a little Zip-lock bag with a tiny baby tooth.“Nick's first tooth” was written in marker on the bag, and a folded piece of lined grade-school handwriting paper was stapled to the bag. I carefully removed the paper and read the note in his awkward, just-learning-how-to-write printing.

在這個“尼克”盒子裏，還塞有一個小自封袋，裏面是一顆小小的乳牙。袋子的標籤上寫着“尼克的第一顆牙”。和袋子訂在一起的還有一張折起來的紙，這是一張小學生練寫字用的橫格紙。我很小心地把紙拆了下來，這是尼克寫的一張小條，字體有些笨拙，一看就是剛開始學寫字的孩子寫的。紙條上寫着：

Dear Tooth Fairy,

親愛的牙齒仙女：

I love you. Please leave me a lot of money.

我愛你。請給我好多好多錢吧。

From your best friend, Nick.

你最好的朋友，尼克

P.S. Don't keep my tooth.

另：請把我的牙齒還給我吧。

I laughed until I cried. How I missed my little guy!

我哈哈大笑起來，直笑得後來淚流滿面。我多麼懷念我的小傢伙啊！

Now twenty-one, Nick has his own life and a fiancée. I know it won't be long before he has children of his own. I pictured him with a little one on his knee, helping her write her first letter to the Tooth Fairy.

尼克現在21歲了，有了自己的生活，還有了未婚妻。我知道，很快他也會有自己的孩子。我想象着有一個小寶貝坐在他的膝上，他抱着她，幫她給牙齒仙女寫第一封信。

Each page in his school years book had a small school photo for that grade glued to it. If I flipped the pages fast, like a homemade cartoon flip-book, I could see the transformation from pre-school to a senior in high school. It was like watching him morph into an adult right before my eyes.

在他學校紀念冊的每一頁上，都貼有一張小照片，對應他上的年級。要是我像翻自制的手翻動畫書那樣快速地翻這本冊子，我就能看到尼克從學前班到高中畢業的每一步變化。這感覺就像是我眼瞅着他在我面前長大成人。

This unexpected trip down memory lane was the best way I could think of to spend my Saturday. This is one box I will never unpack and put away. It's definitely one to keep close by and on days when my heart longs for my first-born, I will dig it out, open a box of tissues, and let the memories come home again.

這次不經意間的重溫往事是我能想到的度過這個週六的最好辦法。這是一個我永遠不會打開之後就束之高閣的盒子。這無疑是一個要隨時隨地放在身邊的盒子，當我想念我第一個孩子的時候，我會把它拿出來，再打開一盒紙巾，讓記憶再次慢慢地涌上心頭。