經典搞笑的英語笑話精選
笑話性存在於以語音、書寫或句法形式表示的英語言語笑話中。下面是本站小編帶來的搞笑的英語笑話，歡迎閱讀!
放屁的問題Problem with gas
A little old lady goes to the doctor ... and says, "Doctor, I have this problem with gas, but itdoesn't really bother me too much. They never smell and are always silent. As a matter of fact,I've farted(放屁) at least 20 times since I've been here in your office. You didn't know I wasfarting because they don't smell and are silent."
有位小老太太去看醫生：“醫生，我有愛放屁的毛病。其實也不是大問題，只是我放屁不臭而且沒聲音。事實上，我在這裏已經放了20多個屁，但是你並不知道對吧，因爲我的屁不臭，而且還沒聲音。”
The doctor says, "I see. Here's a prescription. Take these pills 3 times a day for seven daysand come back to see me next week."The next week the lady goes back.
醫生說：“好的，我明白了。吃這個藥片，一天三次連續吃七天，下星期你再來。”
"Doctor," she says, "I don't know what the hell you gave me, but now my farts ... although stillsilent... stink terribly."The doctor says, "Good! Now that we've cleared up your sinuses(鼻竇) ,let's start working on your hearing."
一星期後老太太來了，“醫生，你到底給的我什麼藥，現在我放屁還是沒聲音，但是怎麼這麼臭!”醫生說：“太好了!你的嗅覺正常了，現在開始治聽覺。”
搞笑的英語笑話閱讀Perfect Match絕 配
A wealthy matron is so proud of a valuable antique vase that she decides to have her bedroom painted the same color as the vase. Several painters try to match the shade, but none comes close enough to satisfy the eccentric woman.一位富婆爲擁有一隻珍貴的古玩而深感驕傲，以至於她竟要把臥室漆成與花瓶同樣的顏色。幾名油漆匠試圖調出這個底色，但是誰也沒有能令那位怪癖的婦女滿意。
Eventually, a painter approaches who is confident he can mix the proper color. The woman is pleased with the result, and the painter becomes famous.最後來了位油漆匠。他非常自信能調出那種顏色。那婦女對他的成果非常滿意，油漆匠於是一舉成名。
Years later, he retires and truns the business over to his son. "Dad," says the son, "there's something I've got to know. How did you get those walls to match the vase so perfectly?"多年以後，他退休了，生意也交給兒子。“爸，”兒子說，“有件事我得弄清楚，您是怎樣使牆的顏色與花瓶配得那麼絕的?”
"Son," the father replies, "I painted the vase."“兒子，”父親回答說，“我漆了花瓶。”
關於搞笑的英語笑話VideoJug gives you some handy hints on what to do stop that irritating person talking to youon a long-haul flight. Make them stop talking with these clever tips, and enjoy your peacefulflight.
長途飛行中，你的鄰座喋喋不休不厭其煩地跟你講話?VideoJug爲你提供一些簡便的方法，讓他閉嘴!使用以下簡單的小建議讓鄰座不再說個不停，享受平靜的旅途!
Step 1: Sleep
1.睡覺
Pretend to go to sleep. To make sure they definitely get the message, put on your MP3 playerand your blow-up pillow and your eye mask and your ear plugs. Block Everything Out.
假裝睡覺。確保他們確信無疑地瞭解這一點，戴上MP3，充氣枕頭，眼罩和耳塞。將外界的一切隔離。
Step 2: The flight attendant
2.空姐
Use the flight attendant to your advantage. Call her over to your seat and tell her to 'get thisfreak away from me'. When returning your food tray, advise her to wash her hands aftertouching it so she doesn't contract the highly contagious virus you picked up during yourrecent visit to the Amazon.
利用空姐。把空姐叫到座位旁邊，告訴她“把這個怪人帶走”。回收食物托盤的時候，建議她接觸托盤之後洗手，這樣她就不會感染最近遊覽亞馬遜河時接觸的很容易傳染的細菌。
While you're at it, ask if you can get an upgrade on account of your health problems and thefact you may only have months to live.
向空姐諮詢，由於健康問題，自己可否換乘更高級的艙位，因爲你可能只有幾個月的壽命了。
Step 3: Props
3.後盾
Even when stuck in your seat, you have several props at your disposal:
即使你被限制在座位上不能自由行走，你也有幾個備用方案選擇：
Go very quiet, start rummaging around for the sick bag and make loud retching noises into it.
非常安靜地翻箱倒櫃地尋找塑料袋，假裝大聲地向袋子裏嘔吐。
When you're given your food, make sure you throw it all over the place. Start answering backbut only when your mouth is full so it sprays all over them.
當你拿到自己的食物之後，大口咀嚼。如果對方喋喋不休，你可以在滿嘴都是食物的時候迴應他。這樣食物殘渣可能會噴他一臉!
Pull out the life jacket from under your seat and explain that you're just getting prepared asevery plane you've ever been on has crashed.
把救生衣從座位底下拉出來，向他解釋，你要做好準備，因爲你以往乘坐的每一架飛機都會出事!
