幽默英文笑話
幽默與笑話同是社會交往活動中不可缺少的交際手段,探索幽默與笑話的區別,認爲有意與無意、含蓄與直白、複雜與簡單、創新與故舊是區分幽默與笑話的重要標準。下面是本站小編帶來的雙語英語幽默笑話，歡迎閱讀!
How many vice presidents 副主管多着呢
Tom was so excited about his promotion1 to Vice2 President of the company he worked for and kept bragging3 about it to his wife for weeks on end.
Finally she couldn't take it any longer, and told him, "Listen, it means nothing. They even have a vice president of peas at the grocery store!"
"Really?" Not sure if this was true or not, Tom decide to call the grocery store.
A clerk answers and Tom says. "Can I please talk to the Vice President of peas?"
The clerk replies. "Canned or frozen?"
湯姆被公司提拔爲副主管，湯姆太興奮了，幾周以來一直在妻子面前誇耀着。
最後，妻子實在忍無可忍，就跟湯姆說：“聽着，這沒什麼，雜貨店裏賣豌豆的還有副主管呢!”
“真的嗎?”湯姆不確定這是真是假，於是決定打電話給雜貨店。
一個售貨員接了電話，湯姆問：“能讓管豌豆的副主管接電話嗎?”
售貨員回覆：“是要負責罐裝的還是負責冷凍的副主管呢?”
雙語英語幽默笑話篇二Giving you a new start 讓你重新獲得新生
One day Mark Twain read an announcement of his death in a newspaper. He hastened to the editor to protect.
"I am very sorry," the editor replied. "It's a terrible mistake, but it's too late to do much about it. The best thing I can do for you is to put you in the Birth Column tomorrow morning and give you a new start."
一天，馬克·吐溫在報上讀到一則關於他的死亡訃告。他急忙趕到編輯那兒以示抗議。
“非常抱歉，”編輯說，“這是一個可怕的錯誤，但是要彌補已爲時太晚。我唯一能爲您做的事情是將您刊登在明天早晨出版的廣告出生欄中，讓您重新獲得新生。”
雙語英語幽默笑話篇三She Didn't Laugh 她沒有笑
The boss was telling jokes. Everyone laughed uproariously. But a girl sitting in the corner was not amused.
"What's the matter?" complained the boss. "Haven't you got a sense of humor1?" The girl said, "Oh, don't have to laugh, as I'm leaving tomorrow."
老闆在講笑話，大家都在哈哈大笑，可是坐在角落裏的一個姑娘沒有被逗樂。
老闆不滿地說：“怎麼啦?你就沒有一點幽默感嗎?”姑娘回答說：“哦，我不用笑，因爲我明天就要離職了。”
雙語英語幽默笑話篇四Different idea 想法不同
A young man and his girlfriend were sitting together imagining their happy life in the future.
The young man said, "How free and happy it would be, if we were two little birds, then we could fly out into the great world and build our nest in the top of a tree."
But his girlfriend said, "I think it would be much more enjoyable to be married and to have a flat with two rooms and a toilet, a bath room, a kitchen with a gas stove and warm water."
一個小夥子和他的女朋友坐在一起，想象他們未來的幸福生活。
小夥子說：“假若我們是兩隻小鳥，能飛到廣闊的天地去，把我們的窩建築在樹頂上，那會多麼自由快樂呀!”
可是她的女友說：“我認爲結了婚，有一套兩室一廳的住房，有衛生間、洗澡間和帶煤氣竈與熱水的廚房，那會更加愜意得多。”
雙語英語幽默笑話篇五The farmer and barber 農場主和理髮師
When life was very hard, a farmer said to a barber1: "Now corn's lower2 in price. I think you should shave for half price."
"I can't, sir," said the barber, "I really should charge more because when corn's cheap, farmers are unhappy and worried. All of them make such long faces that I have twice the ground to go over."
生活很艱難的時候，一個農場主對理髮師說：“現在糧食跌價了，你給人刮臉也應該只收半價。”
“不行啊，先生。”理髮師說，“其實我應該多收一點錢的，因爲糧食跌價了，農場主都很不高興了，發愁了，一個個都愁得把臉拉得很長。我要刮的地方比原來大了一倍啦。”
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