七條祕籍提升你的説服力

While many people don't like to sell, most find themselves having to persuade someone at some point. Persuasion is not just for salespeople and their prospects. You may try to persuade an employee to perform better, or perhaps you want to persuade your boss to take on your brilliant idea. Often the most effective persuaders are your kids. Somehow they come by it naturally while you, the adult, has to work hard to find the persuasive path to success. Here are 7 things that the most persuasive people consistently do:
很多人都不喜歡推銷，但是有的時候不得不試圖説服別人。不只有銷售要説服別人拉到客户，你可能要勸員工更加賣力，或是要説服老闆採納你的建議。最會説服人的是你的孩子。然而他們不用人教，你卻不容易找到成功説服別人的途徑。以下七條是説服別人的金科玉律。

1. They Are Purposeful
有目的

Truly persuasive people understand their power and use it sparingly and knowingly. They understand that most conversations do not require trying to get someone to do or accept something. Aggressive pushers are a turn-off and will put most people on the defensive. It's the person who rarely asks or argues that ultimately gets consideration when they strongly advocate an idea, especially when they do it with power and persistence. Want to persuade more? Argue and advocate less often.
勸説專家明白自己的籌碼，不會亂用，也不會不用。他們明白大多數談話不需要費太多力氣讓對方同意或接受什麼。用力過猛會引起反感，人家就不願意聽了。反而是很少要求或爭辯的人極力主張什麼想法，尤其是強烈且持久地主張，人家最後會考慮。想要更有説服力？平時少爭辯，少主張。

2. They Listen ... and Listen ... Then Listen Some More
他們聽……聽……一直聽

People who know how to persuade also know that just pushing your own argument will get you nowhere. They certainly are able to articulate their position in a convincing way, but that is only half the equation. They are actively listening when in persuasion mode. First, they are listening to assess how receptive you are to their point of view. Second, they are listening for your specific objections, which they know they'll have to resolve. Last, they are listening for moments of agreement so they can capitalize on consensus. Amazingly persuasive people are constantly listening to you and not themselves. They already know what they are saying. You can't persuade effectively if you don't know the other side of the argument.
勸説專家還知道，只提你的想法是沒用的。他們當然能令人信服地闡釋他們的立場，但是那只是等式的一半，還要加上積極的傾聽，那對勸説而言也很重要。首先，他們要聽出你對他們的觀點的接受程度，其次，他們要聽你有什麼特別的反對意見而他們必須要改進的，最後，他們要聽一致的部分，哪怕只有一點點也好加以利用，達成共識。特別善於説服別人的人總是在聽你説，而不是聽自己喋喋不休，他們知道自己在説什麼。知己知彼才能百戰不殆。

3. They Create a Connection
他們建立聯繫

It's easy to dismiss people who are trying to persuade you if you have no emotional stake in them or their argument. Really persuasive people know this, so they will be likeable and look for common ground to help establish emotional bonds and shared objectives. They show empathy for your position and make it known that they are on your side. They manage their impatience and wait for you to give them permission to advocate their approach. You'll persuade people much more easily if they are open and aligned with your desires.
如果別人對你或是你的論點沒有感情分，你會很容易駁回他。勸説專家知道這一點，所以他們會討你喜歡，尋找共同之處，好建立感情紐帶和共同的目標。他們對你的處境感同身受，讓你覺得他們支持你。他們儘量耐心，等待你允許他們提出主張。如果對方願意和你談並且和你的利益相一致，那麼你要説服人家就容易很多。4. They Acknowledge Credibility
他們承認對方的可信度

Really persuasive people understand that there is no sense wasting time arguing facts. Most of the world does not function in black and white. They value strong opinions and will make sure that you are entitled to yours. In fact, they will make sure they give you full credit for every argument of yours that has some validity. This makes it harder for you to fully dismiss their point of view. When you are persuading people, reinforce their credibility on facts and opinions rather than dismissing them outright. Then they'll be more likely to pay you equal respect in the exchange and be more open to the merits of your opposing view.
勸説專家明白浪費時間爭論事實沒有意義，這世界上很少有非黑即白的。他們喜歡強烈的觀點，會確保你能表達你的觀點。事實上，只要你説的有點道理他們就會願意相信你，這樣你就很難完全駁回他的觀點。你在説服別人的時候可以在別人説事實和觀點的時候表示信任，而不是一味地反駁，這樣他們就可能回與你同樣的尊重，更願意接受你相反的意見里正確的地方。

5. They Offer Satisfaction
他們會讓對方滿意

Smart persuaders know that they don't have to win every little battle to win the war. They are more than willing to sacrifice when it helps the overall cause. They are ready to find the easiest path to yes. Often that is simply to give you what you want whenever possible. In my old lending days, we would often deal with busy underwriters who asked for items we knew they already had. Instead of arguing the point, we would just resend the documents and save our energy for issues that were not so easily resolved. Give ground where you can and hold your ground only where it matters. Choose being successful over being right.
聰明的勸説者知道要贏得全局不必錙銖必較。他們願意非常為了整體的進程做出一些犧牲。他們總是知道怎麼樣能夠最簡單地達成目的。通常只要抓住機會就給你你想要的。我過去放貸款的時候我們經常碰到承銷商問我們要一些文件，我們知道他們已經有了，可是我們不跟他們爭論這一點，我們只是重新給他們發一遍文件，省點力氣做難辦的事。只要不觸及底線，能讓步就讓步吧，成功比正確更重要。

6. They Know When to Shut Up
他們知道什麼時候該閉嘴

Successful persuaders get that you don't win the battle by constantly berating people with an unending verbal barrage. Wearing people down is not an effective strategy. They carefully support their arguments and check in with questions that will help to close the conversation. Then they step back. The great sales trainer Tom Hopkins still today teaches these decades-old techniques of his mentor J. Douglas Edwards. His most important lesson is "Whenever you ask a closing question, shut up. The first person who speaks, loses."
成功的勸説者知道要達到目的不能靠無休止的口頭攻勢來訓斥別人，把別人磨煩了可不是有效的策略。他們小心地支撐着自己的觀點，想想有什麼問題可以讓談話早點結束，然後就不説了。了不起的銷售培訓師湯姆霍普金斯今天還傳授者他的導師道格拉斯埃德沃茲的這些幾十年來的老技術。他最重要的一顆就是“問完終結問題就趕緊閉嘴，誰第一個説話就輸了。”

7. They Know When to Back Away
他們知道什麼時候該收手

Urgency and immediacy are often the enemies of real persuasion. It's possible to close a less significant sale through urgency, but deep ideas require time and thought to take root. Great persuaders bring you along in your own time. And they give you the space and time to carefully consider their position. They know that nothing is more powerful than your persuading yourself on their behalf. That almost never occurs in the presence of the persuader. The next time you want to persuade someone of something truly important, follow the tips above, make your case, and walk away. If they don't come around, you were probably wasting your effort in the first place.
緊迫感往往是説服工作的敵人。用緊迫感來達成一樁小買賣是可行的，但是有深度的想法需要時間和思考才能紮根。厲害的勸説者會讓你一直想着他們的建議，會給你時間和空間仔細考慮他們的立場。他們知道沒有什麼比你代表他們給自己洗腦更有用的了，而這在勸説的當下基本是不會發生的。下次你要跟別人説一件特別重要的事情的話就照我説的做，説完了就走，如果人家不來找你，説明你一開始就在做無用功。