诺贝尔文学经典:《宠儿》第1章Part 5
Except for a heap more hair and some waiting in his eyes, he looked the way he had in Kentucky. Peachstone skin; straight- backed. For a man with an immobile face it was amazing how ready it was to smile, or blaze or be sorrywith you. As though all you had to do was get his attention and right away he produced the feelingyouwere feeling. With less than a blink, his face seemed to change — underneath it lay the activity.
"I wouldn't have to ask about him, would I? You'd tell me if there was anything to tell, wouldn'tyou?" Sethe looked down at her feet and saw again the sycamores.
"I'd tell you. Sure I'd tell you. I don't know any more now than I did then." Except for the churn, hethought, and you don't need to know that. "You must think he's still alive.""No. I think he's dead. It's not being sure that keeps him alive.""What did Baby Suggs think?""Same, but to listen to her, all her children is dead. Claimed she felt each one go the very day andhour.""When she say Halle went?""Eighteen fifty-five. The day my baby was born.""You had that baby, did you? Never thought you'd make it."He chuckled. "Running off pregnant.""Had to. Couldn't be no waiting." She lowered her head andthought, as he did, how unlikely it was that she had made it. And if it hadn't been for that girllooking for velvet, she never would have. "All by yourself too." He was proud of her and annoyedby her.
Proud she had done it; annoyed that she had not needed Halle or him in the doing.
"Almost by myself. Not all by myself. A whitegirl helped me.""Then she helped herself too, God bless her.""You could stay the night, Paul D.""You don't sound too steady in the offer."Sethe glanced beyond his shoulder toward the closed door. "Oh it's truly meant. I just hope you'llpardon my house. Come on in. Talk to Denver while I cook you something."Paul D tied his shoes together, hung them over his shoulder and followed her through the doorstraight into a pool of red and undulating light that locked him where he stood.
"You got company?" he whispered, frowning.
"Off and on," said Sethe.
除了多出一大堆头发和眼睛里的期待，他看上去还是在肯塔基的那副模样。核桃色的皮肤；腰板笔直。一个面部僵硬的男人，这么愿意微笑、激动，这么愿意和你一道悲伤，真是令人惊奇。好像你只消引起他的注意，他就立即产生和你一样的情感。一眨眼的工夫，他的脸似乎就变了——里面蕴藏着活力。
"我不是非打听他不可，对吧？假如有的说，你会告诉我的，是不是？"塞丝盯着自己的脚，又看见了梧桐树。
"我会告诉你。我当然会告诉你。我现在知道的不比当时多一丁点儿。"搅乳机的事除外，他想，而你又并不需要知道那个。"你必须认为他还活着。" "不，我想他死了。一厢情愿又不能让他活命。" "贝比·萨格斯怎么想的？" "一样。可要是听她的话，她所有的孩子还都死了呢。口口声声说什么她感觉到每一个都在某一天某一时辰走了。" "她说黑尔什么时候走的？" "1855年。我孩子出生的那天。" "你生下了那个孩子，是吧？从来没想过你能成功。"他格格地笑了，"怀着孩子逃跑。" "没办法。等不下去了。"她低下头，像他一样想，她的成功是多么不可思议呀。还有，如果没有那个找天鹅绒的姑娘，她绝对做不到。"而且全靠你自己。"他为她感到骄傲，也有些不快。
骄傲的是她挺下来了；不快的是她始终没有需要黑尔，也没有需要他。
"差不多全靠我自己。并不全靠我自己。一个白人姑娘帮了我的忙。" "那么她也帮了她自己，上帝保佑她。" "你可以在这儿过夜，保罗·D。" "你发邀请的声音听起来可不够坚决啊。" 塞丝越过他的肩膀瞥了一眼关着的门。"噢，我可是诚心诚意的。只是希望你别介意我的房子。进来吧。跟丹芙说说话，我去给你做点吃的。" 保罗·D把两只鞋子拴在一起搭到肩膀上，跟着她进了门。他径直走进一片颤动的红光，立时被那红光当场罩住。
"你有伴儿？"他皱着眉头，悄声问。
"时有时无吧。"塞丝说。
