每日英语笑话
笑话是幽默的一个属概念 ,具有幽默的一切特征。笑话是民族特有幽默的一种形式。本文是经典每日英语笑话，希望对大家有帮助!
The Umbrella 雨伞
A gentleman staying in a hotel left his umbrella in the hall, but he had put on the handle a card on which was written,
"This umbrella belongs to a gentleman who can lift up a hundred pounds. I shall be back in ten minutes."
When he came back, he found, instead of his umbrella, another card on which was written,
"This card belongs to a man who can run ten miles an hour. I shall not come back."
一位住在旅馆的绅士把他的雨伞放在了大厅里，不过他在伞柄上系了一张卡片，上面写道，“此伞属于一位能举百磅的绅士。
我将在十分钟内回来。”当他回来时，发现雨伞已经不翼而飞，取而代之的是另一张卡片，上面写着：
“此卡是一位一小时能跑十英里的人留下的，我将永远不回来了。
经典每日英语笑话篇二Perfect Match 绝配
A wealthy matron is so proud of a valuable antique vase that she decides to have her bedroom painted the same color as the vase. Several painters try to match the shade, but none comes close enough to satisfy the eccentric woman.
Eventually, a painter approaches who is confident he can mix the proper color. The woman is pleased with the result, and the painter becomes famous.
Years later, he retires and turns the business over to his son. ″Dad,″ says the son, ″there's something I've got to know. How did you get those walls to match the vase so perfectly?″
″Son,″ the father replies, ″I painted the vase.″
一位富婆为拥有一只珍贵的古玩花瓶而深感骄傲,以至于竟要把卧室漆成与花瓶同样的颜色。几名油漆匠试图调出这个底色,但是谁也不能令那位古怪的妇女满意。
最后来了位油漆匠。他非常自信能调出那种颜色。那位富婆对他的成果非常满意,油漆匠于是一举成名。
多年以后,他退休了,生意也交给了儿子。
“爸爸,”儿子说，“有件事我得弄清楚,您是怎样使墙的颜色与花瓶配得那么完美的?”
“儿子,”父亲回答说，“我漆了花瓶。”
经典每日英语笑话篇三Only One Instance 傻瓜来信
Mr. Henry Beecher entered Plymouth Church one Sunday and found several letters awaiting him.
He opened one and found it contained the single word ″Fool″.
Quietly and with becoming seriousness he announced to the congregation the fact in these words:
″I have known many an instance of a man writing a letter and forgetting to sign his name,
but this is the only instance I have ever known of a man signing his name and forgetting to write the letter.″
一个星期天,亨利·比切先生到普利茅斯的教堂去,在那里有他的几封信。
他打开其中一封,发现信中只写着“傻瓜”两个字。
他平静而认真地把这件事告诉教友们：
“写信时忘了签名的人,我遇到过很多,但只签名却忘了写信的人,我还是头一次遇到。”
经典每日英语笑话篇四I’m the groom. 我就是新郎。
A police officer in a small town stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street.
"But officer," the man began, "I can explain."
"Just be quiet," snapped the officer. "I'm going to let you cool your heels in jail until the chief gets back."
"But, officer, I just wanted to say,..."
"And I said to keep quiet! You're going to jail!"
A few hours later the officer looked in on his prisoner and said, "Lucky for you that the chief's at his daughter's wedding. He'll be in a good mood when he gets back."
"Don't count on it," answered the fellow in the cell,"I'm the groom."
在一个小镇里，一个警官拦住了一个在主街道上超速行驶的骑摩托车者。
“但是，警官，”这个男人开口说，“听我解释，”
“安静，”警官打断了他，“我要让你到监狱里做冷板凳，一直到长官回来。”
“但是警官，我只是想说…”
“我说过了，安静，你将要下监狱!!”
几个小时之后，警官看着他的犯人说，“你足够的幸运，长官正在参见他女儿的婚礼，当他回来的时候一定心情不错。”
“别指望了，”监狱里的伙计说，“我就是新郎。”
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