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學會對這些事情說“不”,工作生活更美好

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I’m a people pleaser. It’s hard for me to say "no" to people who ask for something -- despite a reluctance inside of me. This has gotten me into trouble more than a few times in life and especially in business. Time is precious and slips by quickly but there is also no lack of things that have to get done in an entrepreneur's life.

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我總懂得如何取悅別人,對於我來說,我無法對別人的要求說“不”——儘管我的內心是拒絕的。就是這種性格讓我在生活中遭遇到不少麻煩,尤其是做生意的時候。時間很珍貴,它也很快速地流逝,但是企業家的生涯也不缺乏需要完成的事情。

For 12 years, I took life a day at a time. I had a dream but no goals for making it real. I just woke up each day hoping for something more. In 2011, I had had enough and began chasing my dream of starting a lifestyle business. This meant more work on top of a service business that took 60-80 hours of my week. It didn’t take long for me to realize that something had to give. I had to learn how to say no to open up room for the things that were important. Seeing how much time and energy was freed by saying no, I started looking at all the other areas of my life. Here are six things I said no to. Saying no helped me live a much better life and create the kind of business that I love.

曾經有長達12年的時間,我每天都要犧牲自己生命的一段時間。我有夢想,但是沒有實現它的目標。我只會每天醒來希望更多。在2011年,我覺得受夠了,開始追逐我的夢想,開啓一段居家生意之旅。這就意味着在服務業生意上我需要完成更多的工作,每週花上60-80個小時。沒過多久,我意識到有些事情必須要付出。我不得不學會如何說“不”,爲重要的事情騰出空間。瞭解到拒絕以後所騰出的時間與能量是如此之多,我開始察看我生活中的其他方面。下面的6件事情是我拒絕過的。拒絕幫助我過上一個更舒適的生活,並且創辦了我所喜愛的生意。

1. Other people’s baggage.

1. 別人的包袱。

Life is hard for all of us. Sometimes it’s easier to push your baggage onto someone else, maybe even without you realizing it. If you are trying to make changes in your life and someone reacts a certain way because of their baggage, it’s up to you to say "no". You don’t need any more drama in your life. For me, this meant ignoring some people on social media and purging negative people from my life. It meant ending the business partnerships that were not in alignment with the direction I was taking my business.

生活總會折騰人。有時候你把自己的包袱丟給別人是相當容易的事情,也許你甚至不會意識到。如果你正嘗試改變生活中的某些方面,而某人由於他們的包袱,採取某種迴應方式,那麼你具有說“不”的權利。你的生活不需要任何額外的戲劇性效果。對於我來說,這就意味着在社交媒體上無視一些人,清除生命中那些負面的人。這意味着結束那些與我的生意方向不一致的商務人際關係。

2. Situations that I knew would make me angry.

2. 那些讓我生氣的情況。

There are things in life that you know you don’t want to do. For years, I just rolled with it. I went to gatherings and hung out with people who I knew would make me angry. I got on "get-to-know-you" calls with entrepreneurs who were all talk and no action. I entered into collaborations with business owners that weren't serious. When I said enough and stopped, it felt like a weight was lifted off of my shoulders. It freed my mind and business and helped me focus.

生活中你總會遇到一些你不想去做的事情。有許多年,我都湊合着適應它。我參加各種聚會,與那些讓我不爽的人打交道。我應邀參加那些誇誇其談毫無行動的企業家們的“初次見面”聚會。我和那些不認真的企業所有人建立聯繫。當我說“夠了”並停下來的時候,我感覺就像是拿下了肩膀上的重擔。釋放我的心靈,解救我的生意,幫助我專注到重要的事情上。

3. A business that I absolutely hated.

3. 一盤讓我絕對會討厭的生意。

I had a service business in the vendor industry for 12 years and hated it. I felt stuck and believed that someone like me -- a high school dropout -- couldn’t do better. In 2011, I said "no" more and worked hard for four years to make my dream of being a global lifestyle entrepreneur a reality. I now wake up loving what I get to do for work and traveling the world. Saving no led to happier days.

我曾經在供應行業經營了12年服務生意,我當時很討厭它。我感覺自己被困住了,也相信有人像我一樣——一名高中輟學生——無法辦得更好了。在2011年,我說“不”的頻率變多了,然後辛勤工作了4年,讓我成爲全球居家企業家的夢想成爲了現實。如今,我早上醒來,愛着自己的工作,環遊全世界。學會拒絕讓我過上更幸福的生活。

4. Unhealthy habits that felt good.

4. 那些感覺很棒的不健康習慣。

I love food. I said yes to junk food and no to healthier choices. This, as you can imagine, led to major weight gain. At one point, I was 193 pounds overweight. I started saying no to unhealthy choices and started exercising, I've lost 121 pounds so far this year. Today, I have more energy, focus and confidence. Life is better. I wake up ready to work on my business. I feel great when I travel for consulting presentations at multinational corporations.

我喜歡吃東西。我很喜歡垃圾食品,討厭健康食品。這麼來說,你可以想象得到,就會導致明顯的增肥。有一度,我超重193磅。然後我開始對不健康的食品說“不”,並開始鍛鍊,然後這一年以來我已經減去121磅了。如今,我有更多能量,專注力更好,更有自信。生活也過得更美好了。我醒來之後就已經爲我的工作做好了準備。當我去旅行參與跨國企業的諮詢師展示會時,我的感覺非常棒。

5. Toxic relationships.

5. 有毒的人際關係。

Purging negative people from my life and saying no to what they tried to project into my life led to relief and happiness. These relationships included romantic relationships, friendships and business connections. It was hard, but I had to say no. Toxic people will keep you off track and make your life unenjoyable. Purge negativity from your life and business whenever it’s possible.

清除生命中的負面人羣,拒絕他們試圖投射到我生活中的東西,讓我感到如釋重負與幸福滿滿。這些人際關係包括情侶關係,朋友關係還有商務夥伴關係。雖然這是很困難的事情,但是我不得不拒絕。有毒的人們會讓你脫離軌道,讓你的生活一點都不美好。請在有必要的時候清除生活和生意中的負面能量。

6. Holding onto the past.

6. 沉湎於過去。

I had a messed up childhood that involved physical and mental abuse. I chose to be homeless at 17 instead of continuing to be beaten with lamp cords. The demons from my past threatened to destroy me as I grew into an adult. I had to let go. I had to say no a lot more. I had to forgive to begin the healing process. I don’t know what you have or are facing. I do know that to heal, you have to let go.

我的童年一塌糊塗,充滿着身體與心理的折磨。在17歲的時候我決定離家出走,而不是繼續留在那裏被人用電線毆打。過去生活中的那些惡魔威脅着我,妨礙我成長成爲大人。我不得不放下這些事情。我還得多拒絕它們。我必須寬恕,才能開啓我的治癒療程。我不知道你不得不面對或者正在面對的是什麼,我只知道想要治癒,你必須放下過去。

Just because you’re saying no right now doesn’t mean you’ll have to say no forever. Life has seasons, and some are busier than others. The point is to make sure you’re doing the things you want to do and that lead to the kind of life and business you want.

現在僅僅說“不”並不意味着你總是拒絕。生命有四季,有時快樂,有時艱難。重點在於你要確定自己正在做着你想做的事情,並且能夠過上自己想過的生活,做着自己想做的生意。

Don’t let other people’s motives make decisions for you. This is your life. This is your business. You get to decide. Say no to things that don’t make sense for you. Say no to things that don’t feel right to you. Trust your intuition. You know whether or not you want to do something. Don’t be pressured into saying yes.

不要讓他人的動機爲你做決定。這是你自己的生活,這是你自己的生意。你要自己做決定。對那些沒有用處的事情要說不。對那些你感到不對勁的事情說不。相信你的直覺。你知道自己想不想做某件事。不要迫於壓力去順從。

聲明:本雙語文章的中文翻譯系滬江英語原創內容,轉載請註明出處。中文翻譯僅代表譯者個人觀點,僅供參考。如有不妥之處,歡迎指正。