5大因白癡造成的災難（上）
5 Huge Disasters Caused By Idiots Part 1
5大因白癡造成的災難（上）
Whether to impress a sexy person (or just because we really wanted that special-edition dabbing Minion from the claw machine at the bowling alley), we've all done dumb things for dumb reasons. Still, the worst that happened is an embarrassing conversation with an emergency medical responder. It's unlikely our idiotic actions caused catastrophe on a city-wide, industry-wide, or even global scale. The same can't be said for the fallout when ...
無論是爲了打動性感的ta，還是僅僅因爲我們真的很想要保齡球館的抓娃娃機裏的跳dab舞的特別版小黃人，我們都爲了一些愚蠢的理由做過一些愚蠢的事情，但最糟糕的莫過於與一位急救人員尷尬的對話。我們的愚蠢行爲不太可能對整個城市、整個行業甚至對全球範圍造成災難，但影響的餘波可能完全不同，當……
5. A Nuclear Disaster Was Traced Back To Some Morons Who Thought Cesium Looked Cool
一場核災難可以歸咎於認爲銫看起來很酷的白癡
In 1985, a chemotherapy clinic in Goiania, Brazil moved offices, leaving behind an outdated cesium-based radioactive device. Already, we're not off to a great start: leaving radioactive materials just lying around is a fairly major no-no. Since the building was left abandoned, it soon became a popular squat for homeless people living on the outskirts of the city. Think you know where this is going? We promise, you don't.
1985年，巴西哥亞尼亞的一家化療診所搬遷了辦公室，留下了一個過時的銫基放射性裝置。我們的開端就已經很不好了：把放射性物質隨便亂扔是一個相當大的禁忌。自從這座建築被遺棄後，它很快就成爲居住在城市郊區的無家可歸者的避難所。你知道事情會發展成什麼樣嗎？我們保證，你不知道。
On September 13, 1987, two scavengers entered the former treatment room of the clinic and stole the lead cylinder of the cesium device, hoping it was worth something. There was only one problem, as far as they were concerned: they couldn't get the thing open. They also suddenly started feeling extremely ill, but they were determined to dismantle the device. Finally, they managed to crack open the cesium capsule and immediately started scooping out the glowing blue substance they found inside. If you know this kind of person, we probably don't have to tell you that they tried to light it on fire.
1987年9月13日，兩個拾荒者進入了診所的前治療室，偷走了銫裝置的鉛筒，希望它能值點錢。就他們而言，只有一個問題：他們打不開這個東西。他們突然開始感到非常難受，但仍決心要拆除這個裝置。最後，他們成功地打開了銫膠囊，並立即開始挖出在其中發現的發光的藍色物質。如果你瞭解這種類型的人，那就不必多費口舌告訴你，他們還試圖點燃它。
Having done all the cool things they could think to do with the device's contents, they took it to someone even dumber than them: their local junkyard owner, who paid them for its scrap metal. After he noticed the glowing blue stuff, he invited all his friends and family to come look and even let them take some of it home. One of them let his six-year-old daughter use it like body glitter. By the time the authorities figured out what happened, four people were dead and hundreds more had simply suffered huge doses of radiation. Those two original scavengers? They both required amputations. Hopefully, it was worth whatever the junkyard owner paid them.
在對設備裏的東西做完所有他們能想到的“酷極了”的事情後，他們把它帶給了一個比他們更笨的人：當地的垃圾場老闆，他付錢買下了這個廢金屬。當他注意到這些發光的藍色東西后，他邀請所有的朋友和家人來參觀，甚至讓他們帶一部分回家。其中有人讓自己六歲的女兒像身體閃粉一樣使用它。直到當局弄清楚發生了什麼的時候，已經有4人死亡，還有數百人遭受了大劑量的輻射。那兩個拾荒者呢？他們都需要截肢。值得慶幸的是，不管垃圾場老闆付給他們多少錢，這都是值得的。
4. A Broker Threw The Oil Industry Into Turmoil On A Drunken Whim
一個經紀人酒後心血來潮，把石油工業搞得一團糟
Go easy on yourself the next time you drunkenly text your ex; at least you didn't screw up a global industry. That's what Steve Perkins did when he got home after a multi-day bender in June 2010, texted his employer that a sick relative would unfortunately keep him out of the office that day, and then bought seven million barrels of oil.
下次你喝醉後，給前任發短信時，對自己寬容一點，至少你沒有搞砸一個全球產業。這是2010年6月Steve Perkins在喝了幾天酒後回到家中做的事，他給老闆發短信說，由於一個親戚生病，他很不幸地在那天不能上班，然後他買了700萬桶石油。
The stock market is equal parts graphs and magic, so we're not even going to try to explain how Perkins's blackout boo-boo pushed the price of a barrel of oil up by almost $2. We can tell you, because smarter people told us, that while that might not seem like a lot, it usually takes a war to see that kind of change. It didn't take long to sort that out, but the company on whose behalf Perkins bought the oil, PVM Oil Futures, needed considerably more coddling. He'd spent $520 million of their money to buy the oil, creating losses of $10 million for the company because, again, finances are wizardry. They were pretty grumpy about that, considering they only brought in $12 million of annual income.
股票市場就是一個圖像和魔法的代名詞，所以我們不會試圖去解釋Perkins無意識的愚蠢錯誤是如何將每桶石油的價格推高了2美元。但我們可以告訴你，雖然這似乎不是很多，但通常需要經歷一場戰爭才能看到這種變化，這是更聰明的人告訴我們的。沒過多久，這個問題就得到了解決，但代表Perkins購買石油的公司——PVM石油期貨公司——需要得到更多的憐惜。他花了5.2億美元購買了這些石油，給公司造成了1000萬美元的損失，這也再一次說明，金融是不可思議的。考慮到公司的年收入只有1200萬美元，他們對此相當不滿。
When his li'l oopsie was discovered, Perkins was fined, legally banned from trading stocks for five years, and treated to what was hopefully one hell of a "you're fired" speech. He was then immediately hired by a commodities firm in Geneva to train new brokers because a white guy in a suit has to physically dodge job offers on his way home from the corruption store.
當他的小小失誤被發現後，Perkins被處以罰款，並被依法禁止在五年內從事股票交易，還被款待了一場“你被解僱了”的演講。隨後，他立即被日內瓦的一家大宗商品公司聘用，負責培訓新的經紀人，因爲一個西裝革履的白人在從“腐敗商店”迴歸的路上，必須躲避工作機會。
翻譯：MS小冰晶
