雙語閱讀：不怕你的另一半性格內向

摘要：大多數人對內向的人抱有偏見，當然我也不例外。是的，他們比較沉默，有時候很奇怪讓人捉摸不透，但其實他們和我們是一樣的。而且，和內向的人約會也有許多好處。所以，如果你要和一個比你還沉默寡言的人交往，你應該要牢記什麼呢?

Most people, and I was no exception, credit numerous stereotypes about introverts. Yes, they are reserved, sometimes strange and hard to understand, but they are people as well. Moreover, dating an introverted man can have many advantages. So, what should you remember when dating someone who’s more withdrawn than you? Here are 7 essential tips for dating an introvert.

1. Silence isn’t a sign of estrangement

大多數人對內向的人抱有偏見，當然我也不例外。是的，他們比較沉默，有時候很奇怪讓人捉摸不透，但其實他們和我們是一樣的。而且，和內向的人約會也有許多好處。所以，如果你要和一個比你還沉默寡言的人交往，你應該要牢記什麼呢?下面是七條與內向的人約會時的重要建議。

1.沉默不表示有隔閡存在

A different style of communication is the most striking and significant thing about dating an introverted man. When your man isn’t asking you questions or isn’t joking, most probably he’s not interested in you as a woman. With introverted men, it’s absolutely different. They talk less, but whenever they say something it’s really important to them. Introverts simply don’t waste time on silly talk.

和一個內向的男人約會，最顯著最重要的一點就是交流的風格不一樣。當你的男朋友不問你問題或者不開玩笑，那麼很可能他對身爲異性的你不感興趣。但如果對內向的人來說，情況就截然不同了。他們話少，但是他們說的話對他們而言都很重要。內向的人只是不會把時間浪費在說蠢話上。

2. Less violent conflicts

2.暴力衝突減少

不怕你的另一半性格內向

If you’re dating an introvert, you will rarely have severe conflicts and fights. Introverts never act and speak rashly. They need a lot of time to reflect on things; therefore their responds are deliberate. Chances are you’ll forget about the argument, but your sweetheart can start talking about it in several days. When you really want to settle a conflict, adopt a patient behavior. An excessive pressure will only lead to distrust and resentment.

如果你和內向的人交往，你基本上不會和他們發生嚴重的衝突或者爭吵。內向的人在言談舉止上從不魯莽衝動。他們需要很多時間去反思事情;因此他們會做出小心謹慎的迴應。你很有可能會忘記你們之間的爭論，但你的心上人可能幾天後又開始舊事重提。如果你真想要解決矛盾，那就耐心一點吧。壓力過大隻會導致彼此的不信任甚至是厭惡。

3. Your social life will be different

3.你會有一個不一樣的社交生活

Get ready that your spouse will never be the center of attention at a party, during friend gatherings or a party with unknown people. In fact, introverts don’t lack communication skills and they aren’t anti-social; they just need less time socializing. You should also be ready to spend a great amount of time at home watching films or reading. Spontaneous and unplanned events are highly stressful and unwelcome for introverted people. You won’t go out every day, but if your leisure time is properly planned, your guy will be more confident and comfortable.

你得做好準備，因爲無論是在朋友聚會或是陌生人蔘加的派對上，你的伴侶永遠都不會是人們注意力的焦點。事實上，內向的人並不缺乏溝通技能，也不是反社會人士;他們只是不想要花太多的時間用來社交。你也要做好另一手準備——絕大多數時間你可能就呆在家中看電影或是讀書。碰上自發或是他們事先沒有計劃好的事情，內向的人就會高度緊張並且產生抗拒的心理。你不會每天都出去但是如果你將空閒時間合理地安排好，你的男朋友就會感覺更加自信舒服。

4. Introvert can’t be converted into extrovert

4.內向的人無法變得外向

This is the most common mistake most people make when dealing with introverts. You can’t change their temperament and it’s no use struggling with their personality. Being pushy is indeed the worst strategy you can choose. You won’t stir up your partner by asking him thousand questions or telling jokes. Most probably your man will retreat to save his sanity. You shouldn’t urge your partner to do anything or embarrass him, especially in public. It’s very hard to change yourself and it’s almost impossible to change another person. Remember it.

這也是大多數人在和內向的人相處時最常犯的錯誤。你無法改變他們的性格，和他們的個性較真也是徒勞。一意孤行是最糟糕的策略。哪怕問他上千個問題或是講笑話你也無法讓他放得開。你的男朋友有可能爲了不失去理智而逃避。你不應該強迫他做任何事或是讓他尷尬，特別是在公共場合下。請記住：改變自己很難，而要改變另一個人幾乎是不可能的。

5. They need more me time

5.他們需要更多自我空間

It always made me frustrated, but I couldn’t accept this aspect of our relationship. It doesn’t mean I wanted to spend every second with him, but I suffer when I feel lack of attention. Introverts need more time to recharge their strength and energy. Stillness and solitude are essential things they will always need. Thus, don’t minimize the importance of me time and try not to take it personally. If you aren’t able to adjust to this need, your relationship would be rather disastrous.

這一點總讓我十分懊惱，戀愛關係的這方面讓我無法接受。這並不意味着我想要每時每刻都和他呆一起，但是當我沒有感受到足夠的關注時就感覺難過。內向的人需要更多的時間來補充精力。他們總需要兩樣重要東西：安靜和孤獨。因此，不要忽略自我空間的重要性，儘量避免參雜個人感情色彩。如果你不能適應這種需要，你們的關係將會遭受重創。

6. Honesty is a huge plus of being an introvert

6.誠實是內向人士的一大亮點

A great advantage of dating an introvert is that your man will always be honest with you about his feelings and thoughts. Introverts focus their attention on people they are interested in. While extroverts are often superficial and pretended, introverted people say and do exactly what they mean. Don’t be afraid that you partner is a player or that he might be cheating on you. If you’re dating an introvert, you can be sure you’re the only one in his life. Moreover, introverts tend to stay in long-lasting relationships since they’re very picky when choosing a girlfriend.

和內向的人約會有一個最大的好處，那就是他總是會誠實地表明他的感受和想法。內向人士會關注他們感興趣的人。外向的人經常表現得膚淺和做作，而內向人士通常言行一致。不要擔心你的另一半是個花花公子或者劈腿。如果你和一個內向的人交往，你完全可以相信你就是他生命中的唯一。另外，內向的人的戀愛關係會維持得更久，因爲他們選擇女友的標準非常苛刻。

7. You should show tolerance and indulgence

7.你要學會寬容並遷就對方

Sometimes it’s awfully hard to accept his strangeness and those special needs. It feels difficult to get along with an introvert when you have totally different desires. You want to go to a party, while he tends to stay at home. Or, you’re overflowed with emotions and your partner just can’t take it. An introvert will never belong to you 100 percent. Introverts seem moody at times because they are utterly introspective and sensitive to their feelings. You should give them a lot of time to process. Remember that a compromise is a pledge of any healthy and long-lasting relationship. Try to understand that your introverted man also makes efforts to handle your relationship, even if you don’t notice that.

有時候他的一些古怪而特殊的需求讓你難以接受。當你們的需求截然不同時，你會感覺很難和內向的人相處。你想要去參加晚會但他更願意待在家。或者你情緒高漲而你的另一半卻無動於衷。內向的人絕不會完完全全屬於你。有時他們看上去有點憂鬱，那是因爲他們處於內省的情緒敏感狀態。你應該給他們大量的時間去整理情緒。記住妥協是使戀愛關係健康且持久的保證。試着理解你那個內向的他，雖然你並未察覺到,他也在努力經營你們的感情。

It’s up to you to make your extrovert-introvert relationship comfortable and satisfying. Like any other relationships, it requires great work. common efforts and compromise. Just a little understanding and sacrifice will help your relationship flourish and work out. Remember that love is about accepting but not changing a person.

在這段你外向而他內向的戀愛中，是否讓它變得舒服且令人滿意取決於你。和其它戀愛關係一樣，這需要很多精力，共同的努力和妥協。只要彼此多一點理解，多作一點犧牲，就有利於維持你們的關係，達到預期的效果。記住：愛是接納一個人，而非改變一個人。

　　相關閱讀：關於內向的人們的10個誤會

Misconception #1: Introverts are shy.

誤區1：內向的人都很害羞

Being “shy” and “introverted” are two completely different things. Introverts are not necessarily shy or afraid of people. They just don’t prefer talking for the sake of talking.

害羞和內向完全是兩個不同的概念。內向的人不一定害羞或是害怕與人打交道。他們只是不喜歡爲了說話而說話罷了。

Misconception #2: Introverts are unemotional.

誤區2：內向的人缺乏感情

Introverts may not show emotion with their facial expressions and gestures, but this doesn’t mean they’re not interested in what you’re saying. Introverts prefer to control their emotions around others and internalize them. Although someone who’s introverted may not appear engaged, this is usually not the case.

內向的人也許不會靠面部表情或手勢來表達自己的情感，但這不意味着他們對你所說的話不感興趣。內向的人更傾向於在人羣中控制自己的情緒，悶在心裏。也許外表看起來內向的人有點心不在焉，但實際也許並不是這樣哦。

Misconception #3: Introverts don’t like working in groups.

誤區3：內向的人不喜歡團隊合作

Introverts often do their best work alone, so co-workers may misunderstand them and think they don’t want to partake in group work. While introverts do have a tendency to shut down in larger groups of people when they feel like their voice isn’t being heard, introverts excel in small group situations and enjoy working in these types of environments, as long as their opinion is valued.

內向的人往往能很好的獨立完成任務，同事們就會覺得也許他們不適合團隊合作，這可大錯特錯了。在人堆裏，如果別人聽不到自己的意見，那麼內向的人就會表現得非常安靜，在小範圍人羣中，他們往往會更加突出，只要想法能被肯定，他們也會非常享受這樣的工作環境。

Misconception #4: Introverts don’t like talking.

誤區4：內向的人不喜歡說話

It’s not that introverts don’t like to talk, it’s that they prefer to listen before they talk. Introverts choose their words carefully and they think small talk is a waste of time. But, they’re more than willing to engage you in a deep conversation about topics they’re passionate about.

不是內向的人不喜歡說話，而是他們更喜歡傾聽罷了。內向的人總是斟詞酌句，認爲閒聊比較浪費時間。但是一旦遇到感興趣的話題，他們會更加樂意與你深談。

Misconception #5: Introverts are scared to look you in the eye.

誤區5：內向的人不敢看你的眼睛

In general, introverts may not make eye contact with you as much as extroverts. This is bec ause they don’t feel the need to partake in social norms and rituals as much as extroverts, not because they’re “scared.”

一般說來，內向的人不會像外向的人那樣和你進行過多的眼神交流。這是因爲他們覺得沒有必要去遵守所謂的社交規則和慣例，並不代表他們害羞。

Misconception #6: All introverts are poor public speakers.

誤區6：所有內向的人都不善於演講

Some introverts may not like speaking in large group settings; however, many introverts are naturally gifted speakers. And, introverts generally spend more time preparing for speeches and presentations rather than “flying by the seat of their pants.”

有些內向的人也許不喜歡在人多的場合發言，然而有些卻真的天生就是演說家。內向的人通常會花更多的時間來準備演講和發言，而不是“想到哪說到哪”。

Misconception #7: Introverts just want to be left alone.

誤區7：內向的人喜歡一個人待着

While it’s true that introverts prefer to “re-charge” with some quiet time reading or reflecting, they also crave human interaction and enjoy the company of others.

當然，內向的人喜歡在安靜地場合靠閱讀或反思來再充電，他們也需要人際交往享受別人的陪伴。

Misconception #8: Introverts over-analyze everything.

誤區8：內向的人什麼都要分析一番

Introverts like to analyze situations and consider all possible scenarios before making decisions. Sometimes this can lead to “analysis paralysis,” but in general, it’s a positive trait that allows them to make tough decisions with a rational stream of thought.

在做決定之前，內向的人喜歡把所有可能的情況都想到，分析所有的情景。有時這反而會導致“分析無力”，但通常而言，一番理智分析之後做出艱難決定的方式是值得鼓勵的。

Misconception #9: Introverts are high strung.

誤區9：內向的人總是精神緊張

The opposite is actually true. Introverts tend to be much more even-keeled and level than extroverts. They are able to objectively view all scenarios, even during times of stress.

說反啦。相比外向的人而言，內向的人更容易平靜下來。他們可以客觀的看待所有的情況，哪怕是在重壓之下。

Misconception #10: Introverts are underachievers.

誤區10：內向的人都是差生

Bec ause we have such an affinity for the charismatic, personable, extroverted leader, some people assume that introverts are underachievers compared to extroverts. However, there are millions of successful introverted scientists, artists, physicians, writers, and philosophers . Achievement is not necessarily related to personality type.

我們總是會對有魅力，有個性外向的領導者所折服，所以很多人認爲內向的人比不過外向的。然而，我們有無數性格內向的成功科學家、藝術家、醫生、作家和哲學家。成功和性格類型其實沒有多大聯繫。