時尚雙語:Friendship:“第一個人”或許就是友誼的緣分
I vividly remember my first day at University when I was 18-years-old: not just the terror and the excitement but also the sheer, crushing weight of people I didn't know, and who didn't know me.
Of course everyone was in the same boat and it wasn't long before I had made new friends. When I think back, one of my firmest friends was a guy I met at the introductory session of my course on the very first day.
I wonder if there is something special about the very first people we meet in new social surroundings? Perhaps we are so relieved to find someone to talk to - an island of acceptance in a sea of strangers - that we are more likely to form a lasting bond.
Or perhaps I'm making too much of it; after all, at a new job, club or society we'll probably get to meet everyone eventually. Surely the person we just happen to meet first shouldn't be more likely to become a firm friend in the long run?
It's this question that Dr. Mitja Back and colleagues from the University of Leipzig investigated in a new study to be published in Psychological Science (Back, Schmukle & Egloff, 2008). To find out they subjected brand new psychology students to a nerve-wracking first day.
At their introductory session each student was told to sit in a random seat. Then each trembling newbie had to come up to the front and briefly introduce themselves. Immediately afterwards everyone else rated that person on two scales: how much they liked them and whether they would like to get to know them more (sounds frightening for your first day!).
The results showed that people liked - and wanted to be friends with - the people who were initially sat next to them. This might not be that surprising: people have had slightly more exposure to those who they were sitting next to. Or people might have felt a certain affinity for those they were sat near...
One year later
Fast-forward one year. The students are well settled into the course, have probably mixed extensively and now know each other much better. Surely that day one year ago when the lecturer tortured them with random seat allocations, public introductions and instant judgements can't still have an effect, can it?
It absolutely did. Even after one year students who sat on the same row as each other on that very first day liked each other better than people who sat nowhere near each other. For those who sat right next to each other the level of liking was even higher.
This study suggests that in a new social situation it really does matter who you happen to meet first. So, when meeting a new bunch of people, be careful who you approach first, or who you are approached by: you could be stuck with them for a long time!
我清楚的記得我18歲大學入學的第一天：不只是興奮，恐懼，而且還有那些我一點兒也不瞭解的人和一點也不瞭解我的他們。
當然，大家都彼此彼此，而且我沒有費多少時間就交到了新朋友。當我回想起這些的時候，我發現我其中的一個鐵哥們正是入學第一天我在個人介紹會上認識的第一個人。
所以我在想你和那個你第一個認識的傢伙之間是不是真的有什麼奇妙的緣分？或許我們對於陌生人太不設防了，我們非常容易的就接收了一個陌生人的搭訕，或者我們更樂於去跟他們構築長期關係。
再或者，我是不是想的太多了。畢竟，在一個新的工作環境，新俱樂部或者社會裏我們終究是要去接觸很多人的。誰都不能確定我們第一次見到的人會不會在以後變成自己的損友。
令人傷腦筋的第一日
來自德國萊比錫大學的Mitja Back博士和他的同事在心理學雜誌上發表了一篇新的學術報告用來研究那些個有着糟糕的第一天入學經歷的新生的心態。
在新生入學儀式上，新生們被告知可以隨便坐在哪裏都行。然後每個人都要顫巍巍的走到最前面去做自我介紹。在這之後在座的每個人要立刻從兩方面評價這個人：他們有多喜歡他，他們是否有興趣去了解他更多(聽起來是多麼恐怖的第一天啊....)
結果顯示：新生們更樂於或是想跟當時做在自己旁邊的那個人成爲朋友。理由很簡單就是人們覺得自己對做在自己隔壁的那個人可能更能夠敞開心扉或者覺得對這個人跟你有共鳴所以才坐到了一起.....
一年以後
一年很快過去了。學生們都已經很好的融進了課堂學習並且更深入的瞭解了彼此。那麼一年前的那個有點類似於折磨人的自選座位，自我介紹和即時評判他人的做法還會像一年前那樣得出相同的結果嗎？
當然會了。即使過去了一年，在第一天做同一排的學生之間的關係比起做在其他地方的學生關係要來的親密，而那些相鄰而坐的學生之間的關係則更加深刻。
這個研究表明：在一個新的社會環境中，一定要用心挑選那個你第一個想要去接觸的人。所以，一定要小心那個你想要靠近的傢伙，或者要小心想要靠近你的那個傢伙。因爲你們之間可能會在將來發生一段孽緣(笑)。
