一封公開信 致那位讓我們滾回中國的女士
Dear Madam:
親愛的女士：
Maybe I should have let it go. Turned the other cheek. We had just gotten out of church, and I was with my family and some friends on the Upper East Side of Manhattan. We were going to lunch, trying to see if there was room in the Korean restaurant down the street. You were in a rush. It was raining. Our stroller and a gaggle of Asians were in your way.
也許我應該釋懷，選擇容忍。我們當時剛剛從教堂出來，我和家人以及一些朋友走在曼哈頓上東區。我們正找地方吃午餐，想要看看街邊的那家韓國餐廳有沒有位置。你行色匆匆。天空中飄着雨。我們的嬰兒車以及一羣嘰裏呱啦的亞裔擋了你的路。
But I was, honestly, stunned when you yelled at us from down the block, “Go back to China!”
你從不遠處朝我們大聲嚷嚷：“滾回中國去！”說老實話，當時我頗爲震驚。
I hesitated for a second and then sprinted to confront you. That must have startled you. You pulled out your iPhone in front of the Equinox and threatened to call the cops. It was comical, in retrospect. You might have been charged instead, especially after I walked away and you screamed, “Go back to your fucking country.”
我遲疑了一下，隨即衝到你面前。這個舉動肯定把你嚇到了。你在Equinox健身房前掏出iPhone，威脅說要叫警察。回想起來有些滑稽。應該是我叫警察纔對吧，尤其是當我走開以後，你高叫“滾回你那該死的國家去”的時候。
“I was born in this country!” I yelled back.
“我生在這個國家！”我嚷了回去。
It felt silly. But how else to prove I belonged?
感覺挺蠢的。但還有什麼辦法能證明我屬於這裏呢。
This was not my first encounter, of course, with racist insults. Ask any Asian-American, and they’ll readily summon memories of schoolyard taunts, or disturbing encounters on the street or at the grocery store. When I posted on Twitter about what happened, an avalanche of people replied back to me with their own experiences.
當然了，這並不是我第一次遇到種族侮辱。問問任何一個亞裔美國人，他們都會立刻回憶起在校園裏被嘲諷的情形，抑或在街上或雜貨店裏的惱人遭遇。我在Twitter上發帖講了事情的經過，許多人在回帖中提到了自己的經歷。
But for some reason — and, yes, it probably has to do with the political climate right now — this time felt different.
但出於某種原因——沒錯，或許是和當下的政治氛圍有關吧——這一次的感覺有些異樣。
Walking home later, a pang of sadness welled up inside me.
後來走回家去的時候，一陣傷感涌上了我的心頭。
You had on a nice rain coat. Your iPhone was a 6 Plus. You could have been a fellow parent in one of my daughters’ schools. You seemed, well, normal. But you had these feelings in you, and, the reality is, so do a lot of people in this country right now.
你穿着一件很好的雨衣，你手上的iPhone是6 Plus。你或許已身爲人母，你的孩子或許和我的女兒們同校就讀。你看上去，怎麼說呢，挺正常的。但你的內心卻潛藏着這樣的情緒，事實上，這個國家的很多人都是如此。
Maybe you don’t know this, but the insults you hurled at my family get to the heart of the Asian-American experience. It’s this persistent sense of otherness that a lot of us struggle with every day. That no matter what we do, how successful we are, what friends we make, we don’t belong. We’re foreign. We’re not American. It’s one of the reasons that Fox News segment the other day on Chinatown by Jesse Watters, with the karate and nunchucks and broken English, generated so much outrage.
或許你並不知道，但你對我的家人的侮辱直指亞裔美國人日常經歷的核心。我們許多人每天都在竭力應對這種無處不在的異已感。不論我們從事什麼職業，有多麼成功，和誰交朋友，我們都不屬於這裏。我們是外來者。我們不是美國人。福克斯新聞(Fox News)的傑西•沃特斯(Jesse Watters)前些天在唐人街進行實地採訪的電視片段——涉及空手道、雙節棍和蹩腳英語——之所以引發了那麼多憤怒，也與此有關。
My parents fled mainland China for Taiwan ahead of the Communist takeover. They came to the United States for graduate school. They raised two children, both of whom went to Harvard. I work at The New York Times. Model minority, indeed.
我的父母在共產黨奪取政權前從中國大陸逃到臺灣，又到美國唸了研究生。他們養育了兩個孩子。我們倆都畢業於哈佛。我在《紐約時報》工作。算是人們口中的模範少數族裔了。
Yet somehow I still often feel like an outsider.
可我依然常常覺得自己像個外人。
And I wonder if that feeling will ever go away. Perhaps, more important, I wonder whether my two daughters who were with me today will always feel that way too.
不知這種感覺會不會消失。或許更重要的是，不知今天被我帶在身邊的兩個女兒會不會永遠都有這種感覺。
Yes, the outpouring of support online was gratifying.
沒錯，網上如潮的支持令人欣慰。
But, afterward, my 7-year-old, who witnessed the whole thing, kept asking my wife, “Why did she say, ‘Go back to China?’ We’re not from China.”
但我的一個女兒只有7歲，目睹了整件事的她後來不停地問我妻子，“她爲什麼要說‘滾回中國去’？我們不是從中國來的呀。”
No, we’re not, my wife said, and she tried to explain why you might have said that and why people shouldn’t judge others.
是呀，我們不是從中國來的，我妻子回答。她竭力向女兒解釋你這樣說的可能原因，以及人們爲什麼不該隨便評判他人。
We’re from America, she told my daughter. But sometimes people don’t understand that.
我們來自美國，她告訴我女兒。但有時候人們並不理解這一點。
I hope you do now.
希望你現在理解了。
Sincerely,
此致敬禮，
Michael Luo
邁克爾•羅(Michael Luo)
