當愛人的壞習慣讓你抓狂,試試這6個辦法
-- Set realistic expectations. Acknowledge that there are just some things that you will not like about your partner all the time.
-- 制定現實的期望。承認總有時候伴侶的有些事情讓你不會那麼滿意。
-- Focus on the positive. Dr. Orbuch suggests making a list of 10 characteristics you actually adore -- or at least tolerate -- in your spouse. 'When you turn your concentration to what is going well, it motivates you to keep going in that direction,' she says.
-- 關注積極的一面。奧巴克博士建議制定一個清單，寫出你喜歡伴侶的10個特點，或者至少是你可以容忍的特點。她說，當你把注意力放在積極的事情上的時候，你就會有動力使事情朝着積極的方向發展。
-- Discuss the behavior, not your spouse's personality. This allows your partner to change. And be careful to use the word 'I' and not 'you.' (It is helpful to say: 'I get upset when you leave your underwear on the bathroom floor.' It's not beneficial to say, 'You are a slob,' even if it's true.)
-- 討論行爲，而不是伴侶的個性。這會讓你的伴侶有所改變、此外，小心使用“我”而不是“你”這個字眼。（如果你說，“你總是把內褲放在洗手間地板上讓我感到心煩”，就會很有幫助。反之，如果你說，“你真是邋遢得不行”，即便這是事實，也於事無補。
-- Find the right time and place to discuss an annoying habit. Right after work or as your spouse is drifting off to sleep is not it. You might want to send your partner an email during the day asking to discuss a certain behavior later.
-- 找一個合適的時間和地點討論令人心煩的習慣。伴侶剛剛下班或者正要入睡都不是合適的時間。你可以在白天給伴侶發一封電子郵件，要求晚些時候討論一下某個行爲。
-- Be prepared to compromise. Didn't your mother ever teach you that you can be right or you can be happy? Choose happy.
-- 準備做出讓步。你媽媽沒有告訴過你，你可以選擇真理，也可以選擇快樂嗎？選擇快樂吧。
-- If all else fails, go to bed mad. When you are tired you become irrational. You'll probably have more perspective in the morning.
-- 如果上述辦法都無法達到效果，那就乾脆睡覺去吧。當你疲倦的時候，你會變得沒有理智。到了早晨，你或許會更有真知灼見。
