怎樣和子女談關於我的錢以及我有多少錢

My eldest daughter recently caught me off guard with a tricky question. It wasn’t about sex, relationships or her future career, but about money. Or to be more precise, my money and how much of it I had.

我的大女兒最近問了我一個棘手的問題，讓我有些措手不及。這個問題不是關於性，也不是關於感情或她的未來職業，而是關於錢。或者更準確地說，是關於我的錢以及我有多少錢。

Like all young people approaching university, her question was probably inspired mainly by her concern that I will be able to help support her financially during her degree. But I suspect it was also driven by curiosity. I pondered how best to answer her.

正如所有即將跨入大學的年輕人一樣，她提出這一疑問，很可能是出於對我能否在她攻讀學位期間提供經濟支持的擔憂。但我懷疑這也受好奇心驅使。我思索着該如何給她最好的答覆。

If I answered it outright, how would it affect her? Would she be more or less motivated to work hard at university? Would she be more or less careful about her spending? How would it affect her relationship with me? Would she tell her friends, inevitably ensuring that their parents knew my financial position? Would those parents be pleased, envious or sorry for me? Why should I care?

如果我坦言相告，會對她有怎樣的影響？她會有更大還是更少的動力在大學裏努力學習？她在消費時會更小心還是更隨意？這會如何影響她跟我的關係？她會不會告訴她的朋友，進而不可避免地令她們的父母瞭解到我的財務狀況？那些家長會感到高興、嫉妒還是爲我遺憾？我爲什麼要在乎這些？

I could, of course, have chosen not to answer her. But I asked myself whether this might become a cause of tension, distrust or contention between us. It might make it easier — or harder — to involve her in my finances when she is older. Is my financial position any of my daughter’s business anyway?

我當然可以選擇不回答她。但我問自己，這會不會成爲造成我們之間關係緊張、不信任或出現爭執的原因？也許等她年長一些再讓她介入我的財務會更容易（或者更困難）。無論如何，我的財務狀況到底關不關我女兒的事？

Many people find it hard to talk about money. This is understandable, because we relate to money on an emotional, not rational, level. Because our money thoughts and feelings are influenced by our emotions, this can lead us to procrastinate or make poor decisions. For some people, money defines their feelings of self-worth, social status and sense of achievement. Others see money as a force for good, while others see it as a necessary evil. Money can be a source of pleasure or pain.

很多人發現在錢的問題上難以啓齒。這可以理解，因爲我們是在情感（而不是理性）層面思考金錢這個主題。由於我們對錢的想法和感覺會受到情緒的影響，我們可能拖延或者作出糟糕的決定。對有些人來說，金錢定義了他們所感受到的自我價值、社會地位和成就感。有些人視金錢爲善的力量，另一些人則視其爲“必要之惡”。金錢可能帶來快樂，也可能帶來痛苦。

Depending on your level of wealth, discussing your financial situation with your teenage or young adult children can be fraught with difficulties. Most people want their children to be motivated to make their own way in the world and not to think they can sit back and rely on a future inheritance. Resentment can sometimes be caused when children see their parents spending their wealth on exotic holidays, expensive cars or other luxuries.

取決於你的財富水平，跟你十來歲或剛成年的子女討論你的財務狀況，可能困難重重。大多數人希望他們的子女具有自己在這個世界上立足的動力，而不是認爲自己可以無所事事，寄望未來某時會得到的那份遺產。當子女看到父母把積蓄花在異國假日、豪車或其他奢侈品上，有時會產生怨恨。

The next 30 years will see the largest ever transfer of wealth take place, with recent estimates suggesting that at least $16tr of global wealth will pass to the next generation. The majority of which will be transferred over the next 10-30 years. About $830bn of that wealth transfer will occur in the UK. The question is, will the next generation be prepared for it?

未來30年裏將出現史上最大規模的財富轉移，近期估測似乎表明，全球將有至少16萬億美元的財富轉移到下一代手中。其中大部分會在未來10至30年轉移到位。大約8300億美元的財富轉移會發生在英國。問題是，下一代會爲此做好準備嗎？

A key beneficiary of the wealth tsunami in the UK is likely to be the state. The Office for Budget Responsibility forecasts that receipts from inheritance tax in the UK will continue to rise, with nearly ￡21bn expected to be paid by estates between 2017-2021. The extent to which families can reduce their potential inheritance tax depends, to a large extent, on their personal values, priorities and ability to plan their finances on a family-wide basis.

在英國，這場財富“海嘯”的一大受益人很可能是政府。政府預算責任辦公室(Office for Budget Responsibility)預測，英國政府的遺產稅收入將持續增長，2017至2021年期間，遺產繳納的稅收總計將接近210億英鎊。英國家庭可以想方設法降低潛在的遺產稅，但具體幅度在很大程度上取決於個人價值觀、人生重點以及在全家基礎上規劃財務的能力。

Another key consideration is life expectancy. With rising life expectancy, many of us can expect to live into our 90s. This means that wealth transfer upon death is increasingly happening when the beneficiaries are in their 50s or 60s, unless wealth transfers have been made during lifetime. Most people are naturally unwilling to give away substantial amounts of their wealth in their lifetime, if they think they might need it to fund their own lifestyle needs.

另一個重要的考慮因素是預期壽命。隨着預期壽命不斷上升，我們中的很多人有望活到90多歲。這意味着，除了那些在生前發生的財富轉移，隨身故而發生的財富轉移，將越來越多地發生在受益人50多歲甚至60多歲的時候。多數人自然不願意在生前就放棄自己的很大一部分財富——如果他們認爲可能需要這筆財富爲自己的生活方式買單。

Generation X — those born between the mid 1960s to the mid 1970s — can also find it difficult to discuss money with their parents. The baby boomer generation grew up after the second world war when rationing was still in place and most people had relatively modest living standards. Many people born before the war grew up during the depression of the 1930s, when times really were tough and waste was frowned upon. In both cases, people in their 60s, 70s and 80s have a very different view of money from their adult children and grandchildren.

在上世紀60年代中期至70年代中期出生的X一代(Generation X)，可能也會發現很難跟他們的父母談論“錢”。嬰兒潮中出生的人，成長於第二次世界大戰後仍實行配給的年代，那時多數人的生活水平相對一般。同時很多在戰前出生的人，成長於30年代大蕭條的艱難時期，那時浪費被視爲可恥。在這兩種情況下，那些年齡在60多歲、70多歲和80多歲的人，跟他們的成年子女和孫輩有非常不同的金錢觀。

One financial adviser firm I know runs regular wealth workshops for adult children of their clients, where they explain basic financial planning concepts and give a generic overview of the type of planning done by their parents and grandparents. This helps create awareness and understanding about family wealth without going into specifics, while also building a relationship between the advice firm and the younger generation, before any transfer of wealth arises.

我知道的一家理財諮詢公司，會定期爲客戶的成年子女舉辦財富講座，講解基本的財務規劃理念，並籠統概述這些人的父母和祖父母所做的理財規劃類型。這有助於在不談細節的基礎上培養對家庭財富的意識和理解，同時也能在財富轉移發生之前，在該諮詢公司和較年輕一代之間建立良好關係。

Another way of developing a dialogue about family finances is to have regular structured family financial planning meetings. Many good financial advice firms are happy to provide this service either as part of their core planning service or for a modest additional fee. These meetings are an ideal forum to discuss things like the appointment and role of trustees, guardians, executors and attorneys.

另一種建立家庭財務對話的方式，是定期舉行有組織的家庭財務規劃會議。很多不錯的理財諮詢公司都樂意提供這一服務，要麼作爲他們理財規劃核心服務的一部分，要麼收取少許額外費用。此類會議是討論受託人、監護人、遺囑執行人和律師的委任和角色等事務的理想平臺。

At the very least it is a good idea to create a “What to do if we die or get seriously ill” document which summarises who the next generation should contact about various financial issues. Together with a statement setting out what assets you own, this should help your adult children or grandchildren make sense of your financial world, even if you haven’t discussed things beforehand.

在最低限度，擬訂一份“如果我們身故或得重病了該怎麼辦”的文件是個不錯的主意，可用這份文件爲下一代列出在各類財務問題上應該聯繫誰。連同一份列出你擁有的資產的聲明，這應該幫助你的成年子女或孫輩釐清你的財務世界，即便你們事先並未討論過。

Back to my daughter and her question about my net worth. I answered: “We have enough money to have a nice lifestyle; for me to choose what type of work I want to do; for us to fund your education and help you buy a house or start a business; for us to support various charities; and for your mother and I not to be a burden on you when we are old.”

回到我的女兒和她提出的有關我淨資產的問題上。我的回答是：“我們有足夠的錢享有不錯的生活方式；我能自主選擇想要做什麼樣的工作；我們能資助你的教育，並幫助你買房或創業；我們能支持各種慈善事業；還能確保在我和你的母親年老時不會成爲你的負擔。”

My daughter replied: “I get it, Dad. What you are saying is you’ve opened the door for me but it’s up to me to walk through it, right?” I smiled to myself — that’s the answer I’d expect from someone studying the classics. She continued: “But one day I do want to know what you’re worth.”

我的女兒回答說：“我明白了爸爸。你是說你爲我打開了一扇門，但邁入這道門得靠我自己，對嗎？”我由衷笑了——這是我預計會從古典學專業的學生聽到的回答。她繼續說：“但總有一天我會希望知道你的身價。”

One day she will. I’m just not sure if that will be while I’m alive or when I’m dead!

總有一天她會知道的。我只是不確定那會是在我生前還是身故之後！