雙語散文:我的初戀
My Very First Love
Yes this may be surprising, I was only 13 years old that time. But, don't know how or why it happened to me so early. I fell deeply in love with a guy, who I used to think was annoying 2 months ago.
It was 1997, in Chittagong, Bang- ladesh, me and my family have just moved to a new apartment in a new area. So, after few weeks have passed, I started going back to school, since it was during Ramadan we moved. Well, I made some new friends in the neighborhood. This girl who was always hanging out with, her name was Ivy.
One day when I was going to school, I bumped into Ivy on the way out of my building, and she was standing next to this guy, he lived in the building right beside mine. He said “Hi” to me, and we just asked each other “how are you” and blah blah, then I had to leave. But I noticed that guy was looking at me. It was a different kind of look, look with love in his eyes. Few days later, I noticed whenever I go to school and come back from school, he is standing in his balcony, and smiling at me. If he is not around, and one of his friends see me, they start to yell out his name. Oh yeah, by the way, his name was Mamun.
So, I was very annoyed by those things. And I even told Ivy to tell Mamun to stop these foolishness. After my exams were over, I had a break. So I used to go to the roof and read books to spend my time. Mamun used to come to their roof also and both roofs where so close to each other that you can just jump from one to another.
Once I was reading a book, and I noticed Mamun come to their roof and he looked at me, and smiled. OH MY GOD! I don't know what happened to me. That sweet smile just took me away. I smiled back at him, for the first time. I could never forget that moment. We used to smile at each other whenever we saw each other, but never had a chat. I was sure that he liked me a lot, because, anytime he would see me on the roof from his balcony, he came up to the roof right away. I fell in love with him very deeply. I was surprised that I did. The feelings I had was so beautiful and made me so happy.
Mamun did come to my roof one day to talk to me but I wanted him to go away. I didn't want any one to see us talking. As you know, in Bangladesh rumors go around so fast. When we talked, I saw deep love in his eyes. I always smiled at him; I didn't talk to him much. Still, life was going on so wonderfully. Mamun never told me he loved me. I thought that was because, I was 5/6 years younger than him.
Very soon, I found out that me and my family are leaving Bang- ladesh and coming to Canada. I was devas- tated. I cried all night but there was nothing to do. When Mamun found out, he asked me on the roof, if it was true. When I said yes, he asked how long will I be in Canada. The answer was maybe forever, we were going to settle in Canada. He looked depressed, all he said was “Oh”, then I told him out flight date.
The next month, it was Ramadan again. Mamun came to say good bye to me on the roof, he was leaving to spend his Eid with his family. That day, I was so sad, I felt like I lost something very important in my life. We said goodbye to each other, he said he thinks I am such a sweet girl, he hopes I have a great life in Canada. Oh my god, I couldn't hold myself, I think my eyes became watery. I didn't want him to see that I was crying. I said “you too” and tried to smile and left the roof right away.
That was the last day I ever saw my first love. Now 4 years later, here I am in CANADA. I have guy in my life now, whom I am deeply love with after Mamun. I never lose him.
I am ... over Mamun now. Everytime I remember those days, looking at each other on the roof, talking, I feel really down. I wonder where he is now, if we will even meet again... I can never forget my first love.
這可能會令人吃驚，因爲那時我才13歲。但是，我也不知道怎麼那麼早就降臨到我身上了。我深深地喜歡上了一個男孩，可就在那兩個月前我還認爲他是個令人討厭的傢伙呢。
1997年在孟加拉國的吉大港，我和家人剛搬到一個新地方，住進新公寓。由於我們是在齋月搬的家，因此過了幾個星期，我纔開始回到學校上學。我在街坊裏交了一些新朋友，總和我一起去玩的那個女孩叫艾維。
有一天，我正要去上學，剛出家門就碰到了艾維。她站在那個男孩旁邊，他就住在我們隔壁那棟樓房裏。他跟我打了聲招呼，之後我們也只是問對方“你好嗎”之類的話，然後我就離開了。但我注意到那個傢伙在看我，而且是一種別樣的眼神，眼裏充滿愛意。幾天後，我發現我每次上學放學的時候，他都會站在陽臺上朝我微笑。如果他的朋友看到我，而他又不在旁邊，他們就會對我喊他的名字。哦！對了，他叫馬蒙。
因此，我對於這些事情也十分惱火。我甚至讓艾維轉告馬蒙停止這些愚蠢的行爲。考試結束後我有個短暫的假期，經常會去屋頂看書打發時間。馬蒙也經常去他們的屋頂，兩個屋頂之間是如此接近，甚至一跳就可以跳到另一個屋頂。
有一次，我正在看書，發現馬蒙也來到他們的屋頂看着我笑，哦，天哪，真不知道我怎麼了，他甜美的笑容竟然把我迷住了，我不禁也對他笑了，那是第一次對他笑，我永遠忘不了那個時刻。以後每次看見對方都互相笑一下，但從來沒說過話。我敢肯定他非常喜歡我，因爲無論何時他從陽臺上看到我在屋頂上，他也馬上跑上屋頂。我自己也很驚奇，我竟然深深地喜歡上了他。這種感覺非常美妙，我也很開心。
一天，馬蒙來到我家屋頂上跟我說話，但我想讓他離開。我不想其他人看見我們說話。你也知道，在孟加拉國流言蜚語傳播很快。我們談話時，我從他眼神裏看出他對我的愛戀。我並沒有和他說太多話，總是對他微笑。生活照樣如此精彩地過着，然而馬蒙從來沒有告訴過我他喜歡我。我想這可能是因爲我比他小五六歲的原因吧。
很快地，我發現我們家就要離開孟加拉國去加拿大了，我徹底絕望了，我哭了整個晚上，可這也無濟於事。馬蒙知道後，在屋頂上問我那到底是不是真的。我說是的，他問我在加拿大會待多久，我說可能是永遠，我們要在加拿大定居。他看起來很沮喪，只說了聲“哦”，之後我告訴了他航班的日期。
下個月又到九月齋月了，馬蒙來到屋頂上與我道別，他要去和他的家人過開齋節。那天我心裏特別難過，我感到我失去了生命裏非常重要的東西。我們互相道別後，他說他認爲我是一個很討人喜歡的女孩，並祝願我在加拿大生活愉快。哦，天哪！我幾乎無法剋制自己，我想我的眼睛肯定水汪汪的，我不想讓他看到我哭了。說完“你也是”，就努力笑了笑，馬上離開了屋頂。
那是我最後一天見到我的初戀。現在我已經在加拿大生活四年多了，我的生活中也有了男朋友，他是在馬蒙之後我深愛的一個人，我絕不會失去他。
現在，我和馬蒙的事已經過去了。每次我回憶起那些日子裏，我們在屋頂上互相望着彼此聊天，我還是真的感覺很難受。我不知他現在在哪兒，我們能否再見到彼此……但我永遠忘不了我的初戀。
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