經典科幻文學:《宇宙盡頭的餐館》第14章5
The waiter smiled a polite little waiter’s smile. He had almost exhausted his polite little waiter repertoire and would soon be slipping into his role of a rather tight lipped and sarcastic little waiter.
“Afterlife sir?” he said, “No sir.”
“And we’re not dead?” said Arthur.
The waiter tightened his lips.
“Aha, ha,” he said, “Sir is most evidently alive, otherwise I would not attempt to serve sir.”
In an extraordinary gesture which is pointless attempting to describe, Zaphod Beeblebrox slapped both his foreheads with two of his arms and one of his thighs with the other.
“Hey guys,” he said, “This is crazy. We finally did it. We finally got to where we were going. This is Milliways!”
“Yes sir,” said the waiter, laying on the patience with a trowel, “this is Milliways – the Restaurant at the End of the Universe.”
“End of what?” said Arthur.
“The Universe,” repeated the waiter, very clearly and unnecessarily distinctly.
“When did that end?” said Arthur.
“In just a few minutes, sir,” said the waiter. He took a deep breath. He didn’t need to do this since his body was supplied with the peculiar assortment of gases it required for survival from a small intravenous device strapped to his leg. There are times, however, when whatever your metabolism you have to take a deep breath.
“Now, if you would care to order drinks at last,” he said, “I will then show you to your table.”
Zaphod grinned two manic grins, sauntered over to the bar and bought most of it.
這個侍者已經快用盡他作爲一個有禮貌的小個子侍者的全部本領了，馬上就會進人他的另外一個角色，一個抿緊嘴脣挖苦人的小個子侍者。
“來世，先生，”他說，“不，先生。”
“我們沒有死？”阿瑟又問。
這個侍者抿緊了嘴脣。
“啊哈，哈，”他說，“先生您顯然還活着，否則我是不會試圖爲您提供服務的。”
贊福德用兩隻手臂拍打着自己的兩個前額，同時用一條大腿拍打着另外一條。這種非凡姿勢是不可能描述出來的：
“嘿，夥計們，”他說，“這太瘋狂了。我們做到了。我們終於來到了我們要去的地方。這裏是‘天盡頭’！”
“是的，先生，”侍者啪嗒一聲撂下他的耐性，“這裏就是‘天盡頭’——宇宙盡頭餐館。”
“什麼的盡頭？”阿瑟問。
“宇宙。”侍者又重複了一遍，非常清楚而且毫無必要地使用了強調語氣。
“宇宙什麼時候會到盡頭，”阿瑟又問。
“過幾分鐘，先生。”侍者說。他深吸了一口氣。其實他根本不需要這麼做，因爲他的身體是靠綁在他腿上的一個小型靜脈注射裝置中的幾種特殊氣體來維持生存的。不過，無論你的新陳代謝屬於哪種類型，總有一些時候，你還是需要深吸一口氣的。
“等你們幾位最後拿定主意決定要飲料的時候，”他說，“我再給各位引座。”
贊福德的兩張臉分別狂躁地咧嘴笑了笑，然後他從容地走到吧檯前，把裏面的大部分酒買了回來。
