經典科幻文學:《宇宙盡頭的餐館》第10章2
“A recording,” said Gargravarr, “of the last man who was put in the Vortex. It is always played to the next victim. A sort of prelude.”
“Hey, it really sounds bad…” stammered Zaphod, “couldn’t we maybe slope off to a party or something for a while, think it over?”
“For all I know,” said Gargravarr’s ethereal voice, “I’m probably at one. My body that is. It goes to a lot of parties without me. Says I only get in the way. Hey ho.”
“What is all this with your body?” said Zaphod, anxious to delay whatever it was that was going to happen to him.
“Well, it’s… it’s busy you know,” said Gargravarr hesitantly.
“You mean it’s got a mind of its own?” said Zaphod.
There was a long and slightly chilly pause before Gargravarr spoke again.
“I have to say,” he replied eventually, “that I find that remark in rather poor taste.”
Zaphod muttered a bewildered and embarrassed apology.
“No matter,” said Gargravarr, “you weren’t to know.”
The voice fluttered unhappily.“The truth is,” it continued in tones which suggested he was trying very hard to keep it under control, “the truth is that we are currently undergoing a period of legal trial separation. I suspect it will end in divorce.”
The voice was still again, leaving Zaphod with no idea of what to say. He mumbled uncertainly.
“I think we are probably not very well suited,” said Gargravarr again at length, “we never seemed to be happy doing the same things. We always had the greatest arguments over sex and fishing. Eventually we tried to combine the two, but that only led to disaster, as you can probably imagine. And now my body refuses to let me in. It won’t even see me…”
He paused again, tragically. The wind whipped across the plain.
“It says I only inhibit it. I pointed out that in fact I was meant to inhibit it, and it said that that was exactly the sort of smart alec remark that got right up a body’s left nostril, and so we left it. It will probably get custody of my forename.”
“Oh…” said Zaphod faintly, “and what’s that?”
“Pizpot,” said the voice, “My name is Pizpot Gargravarr. Says it all really doesn’t it?”
“Errr…” said Zaphod sympathetically.“And that is why I, as a disembodied mind, have this job, Custodian of the Total Perspective Vortex. No one will ever walk on the ground of this planet. Except the victims of the Vortex – they don’t really count I’m afraid.” “Ah…”
“I’ll tell you the story. Would you like to hear it?”
“一段錄音，”伽古拉瓦說，“是上一個被投進旋渦的人留下的。這玩意兒總是放給下一個犧牲品聽。算是一種前奏吧。”
“唔，聽上去有些糟糕……”贊福德結結巴巴地說，”我們能離開一會兒，去參加一個派對或者別的什麼嗎？留點時間仔細考慮一下該不該去，怎麼樣？”
“就我所知，”伽古拉瓦縹緲的聲音說，“我現在大概正在參加一個派對。我是指我的身體。它參加了許多派對，可都不帶上我。它總說，我只會礙手礙腳。”
“你的身體到底是怎麼回事‘”贊福德說，他急切地渴望推遲即將發生在他身上的事，無論那是什麼事。
“嗯，你知道，它很忙。”伽佔託瓦吞吞吐吐地說。
“你是說它已經具有了自己的意識？”贊福德問。
在伽古拉瓦重新開口之前，是一陣稍顯冷落的長時間停頓。
“我不得不說，”他最終回答說，“我覺得你的話缺乏品味。”
贊福德咕噥着道了歉，既迷惑不解，又相當尷尬。
“沒關係，”伽佔拉瓦說。“不知者不爲罪。”這聲音不太高興地飄蕩着。
“實情是，”這聲音繼續說道，從語氣上看，他正在很費力地控制着自己的情緒，“實情是我們眼下正處於分居階段，等待法庭宣判。我預計最終會以離婚收場。”
聲音再次停止了，把贊福德晾在那兒，不知潑說些什麼。他只好含混不清地咕嚕了幾聲。
“我想，我們倆可能不太適合，”伽古拉瓦最後說，“我們從來沒有高高興興地幹同一件事。最激烈的爭吵總是跟性和釣魚有關。最後，我們嘗試把這兩者結合起來，但你或許也想像到了，產生的結果是徹頭徹尾的災難。現在，我的身體拒絕讓我進人。它甚至不來看我！”
他又悲傷地頓了一下。風繼續鞭打着平原。
“它說我不過是居住在它裏面，我指出，實際上，按規矩，我就應該居住在它裏面。它則說，它們身體晟受不了的就是這種自作聰明的評論，這種話會刺得它左鼻孔生疼，所以它要離開我，它很可能會扣留我的名字。”
“哦，”贊福德小聲地問，“什麼名字？”
“皮茲珀特，”那聲音說，“我的全名是皮茲珀特·伽古託瓦。這纔是真正完整的，不是嗎？”
“呃，”贊幅德同情地說：“這就是爲什麼我，作爲—縷脫離了肉體的意識，獲得了這份工作……絕對透視旋渦的管理員。沒有人會在這顆星球的土地上行走……除了旋渦的犧牲品之外，但恐怕他們不能算數。”
“我會告訴你這裏的故事。你願意聽嗎？”
