名著精讀:《悉達多》 卡瑪拉(7)
"Things are working out well," she called out to him. "They are expecting you at Kamaswami's, he is the richest merchant of the city. If he'll like you, he'll accept you into his service. Be smart, brown Samana. I had others tell him about you. Be polite towards him, he is very powerful. But don't be too modest! I do not want you to become his servant, you shall become his equal, or else I won't be satisfied with you. Kamaswami is starting to get old and lazy. If he'll like you, he'll entrust you with a lot."
Siddhartha thanked her and laughed, and when she found out that he had not eaten anything yesterday and today, she sent for bread and fruits and treated him to it.
"You've been lucky," she said when they parted, "I'm opening one door after another for you. How come? Do you have a spell?"
Siddhartha said: "Yesterday, I told you I knew how to think, to wait, and to fast, but you thought this was of no use. But it is useful for many things, Kamala, you'll see. You'll see that the stupid Samanas are learning and able to do many pretty things in the forest, which the likes of you aren't capable of. The day before yesterday, I was still a shaggy beggar, as soon as yesterday I have kissed Kamala, and soon I'll be a merchant and have money and all those things you insist upon."
"Well yes," she admitted. "But where would you be without me? What would you be, if Kamala wasn't helping you?"
"Dear Kamala," said Siddhartha and straightened up to his full height, "when I came to you into your grove, I did the first step. It was my resolution to learn love from this most beautiful woman. From that moment on when I had made this resolution, I also knew that I would carry it out. I knew that you would help me, at your first glance at the entrance of the grove I already knew it."
"But what if I hadn't been willing?"
"You were willing. Look, Kamala: When you throw a rock into the water, it will speed on the fastest course to the bottom of the water. This is how it is when Siddhartha has a goal, a resolution. Siddhartha does nothing, he waits, he thinks, he fasts, but he passes through the things of the world like a rock through water, without doing anything, without stirring; he is drawn, he lets himself fall. His goal attracts him, because he doesn't let anything enter his soul which might oppose the goal. This is what Siddhartha has learned among the Samanas. This is what fools call magic and of which they think it would be effected by means of the daemons. Nothing is effected by daemons, there are no daemons. Everyone can perform magic, everyone can reach his goals, if he is able to think, if he is able to wait, if he is able to fast."
Kamala listened to him. She loved his voice, she loved the look from his eyes.
"Perhaps it is so," she said quietly, "as you say, friend. But perhaps it is also like this: that Siddhartha is a handsome man, that his glance pleases the women, that therefore good fortune is coming towards him."
With one kiss, Siddhartha bid his farewell. "I wish that it should be this way, my teacher; that my glance shall please you, that always good fortune shall come to me out of your direction!"
“好極了，”卡瑪拉朝他喊，“卡馬斯瓦密正等着見你呢！他是這城裏最富有的商人。他若是喜歡你，就會聘用你。心眼靈活些，我的曬黑的沙門。我通過別人向他介紹了你的情況。你要對他友好，他很有勢力，可是也別低聲下氣！我不願意你做他的僕人，你應當成爲跟他同樣的人，不然我不會滿意你。卡馬斯瓦密已開始上年紀，不難打交道了。要是他喜歡你，他就會非常信任你。”
席特哈爾塔向她道謝，笑了。當卡瑪拉得知他昨天和今天都沒吃東西時，就叫人拿來了麪包和水果，款待他。
“你真有運氣。”她在告別時說，“一扇又一扇門都爲你敞開。這是怎麼回事？是你會魔法吧？”
席特哈爾塔說：“昨天我就跟你說過了，我會思考、等待和齋戒，而你卻以爲這些都沒有用處。其實它們都很有用，卡瑪拉，你等着瞧吧。你會看到，這個來自森林的笨沙門學會了許多你們不會的好事兒。前天，我還是個蓬頭垢面的乞丐，可是昨天我就吻了卡瑪拉，而且，很快我就會成爲一個商人，有錢，有你看重的一切東西。”
“那好啊，”她說，“但是如果沒有我，你又會怎麼樣呢？如果卡瑪拉不幫你，你又會怎麼樣呢？”
“親愛的卡瑪拉，”席特哈爾塔挺直身子說，“我來到你的林苑時邁出了第一步。當時我打定主意要向你這個絕色佳人學習愛情。我從下定決定的時刻起就知道我能實現它。我知道你會幫助我，在林苑門口你瞧我第一眼時我就知道了。”
“但是假如我不願意呢？”
“你不是願意了嘛！瞧，卡瑪拉，如果你把一塊石頭扔進水裏，它會順着最快的途徑沉下水底。假如席特哈爾塔有了一個目標，下了一個決心，那麼情況也是如此。席特哈爾塔並不做什麼，他只是等待，他思考，可是他穿過世上萬物就像石頭穿過水，用不着做什麼，用不着動彈，他徑直被拽過去，沉下去。他的目標把他吸引過去，因爲他不讓任何可能違揹他目標的東西進入他的心。這就是席特哈爾塔向沙門學到的本領，這就是傻瓜們稱之爲魔法並認爲是魔鬼在起作用的東西。沒有什麼是魔鬼的神道，壓根兒就沒有魔鬼！每個人都會魔法，每個人都能達到他的目標，只要他會思考，會等待，會齋戒。”
卡瑪拉用心細聽。她喜歡他的聲音，喜歡他眼裏的目光。
“也許是這樣，”她低聲說，“就像你說的，朋友。大概因爲席特哈爾塔是個英俊的男子，女人都喜歡他的目光，所以他才總是碰上好運氣吧。”
席特哈爾塔以一吻向她告別。“但願如此，我的老師。但願你永遠喜歡我的目光，但願我從你這兒永遠得到好運氣！”
