英語笑話：司法界的那些事
The world's smartest dog 世界上最聰明的狗
在一場狗秀的活動中，人們要選出一隻世界上最聰明的狗。有三隻狗進入了決賽，它們的主人分別是：醫生，建築師和律師。
最後的比賽是給每隻狗一包骨頭，看看它們能用這些骨頭做些什麼。醫生說道：“聽診器，上!”這隻狗搭了一個人體骨骼。
裁判們想立即給這隻狗頒發獎品，但是他們還是決定給每隻狗一次機會。
建築師說道：“滑尺，上!”他的狗建造了一座懸橋。
裁判們左右爲難，到底該選哪一隻呢?
律師說道：“鑽(法律)空子，上!”這隻狗吃掉了骨頭，對那座橋徵收了百分之百的稅，並向其他兩隻狗進行勒索。
There once was a dog show to determine the world's smartest dog. Three dogs were in the final. One dog belonged to a doctor. One dog belonged to an engineer. And, one dog belonged to a lawyer.
For the final each dog was given a bag of bones to see what it could make. The doctor said, "Stethoscope, go!" The dog built a human skeleton.
The judges were ready to award the trophy right then. But, they decided to give the other dogs a try.
The engineer said, "Slide-rule, go!" The dog built a suspension bridge.
The judges were beside themselves. Which dog would they pick?
The lawyer said. "Loop-hole, go!" The dog ate the bones, got a percentage of all the tolls from the bridge and screwed the other two dogs.
Coffee break 咖啡時間
Four surgeons were taking a coffee break and discussing their work.
The first one said, "I think accountants are the easiest to operate on. Everything inside them is numbered."
"I think librarians are the easiest," said the second. "When you open them up, all their organs are arranged alphabetically."
The third surgeon said, "I prefer to operate on electricians. Their organs are color-coded."
"You're all wrong," said, the fourth. "Lawyers are easiest. They're heartless, spineless, gutless and their heads and asset are interchangeable."
四個醫生邊喝咖啡休息邊討論他們的工作。
第一個說，“我認爲給會計手術最容易,因爲他們的器官都有編號。”
“我覺得圖書管理員最容易。”第二個說, “他們的器官都按字母順序排列。”
第三個醫生說，“我喜歡給電工手術，他們的器官都有帶顏色的編碼。”
“你們都錯了”，第四個說，“律師是最容易的，他們沒心、沒腸、沒骨頭，而且他們的腦子用錢就能換掉。”
American Dream 美國夢
An American attorney had just finished a guest lecture at a law school in Italy when an Italian lawyer approached him and asked. "Is it true that a person can fall down on a sidewalk in your country and then sue the landowners for lots of money?"
Told that it was true, the lawyer turned to his partners and started speaking rapidly in Italian. When they stopped, the American attorney asked if they wanted to go to America to practice law.
"No, no." one replied. "We want to go to America and fall down on sidewalks."
一位美國律師剛結束他在意大利一所法律學校的客座演講，就有一位意大利律師走近他問：“聽說在你們國家裏，一個人跌倒在人行道上，他就會起訴這塊地的所有者賠償很多錢，這是真的嗎?”
得知這是真的後，意大利律師轉向他的同行開始用意大利語快速談論起來。當他們停下來後，美國律師問他們是否想去美國做法律工作。
“不，不，”有一個人回答說，“我們要去美國跌倒在人行道上。”
