爆笑盤點：那些年招聘方對求職者說過的謊話
“We’ll be sure to keep your resume on hand for future opportunities!”
“我們會保留你的簡歷，將來有合適的職位再通知你。”
No you won’t. You deleted this email thread 5 seconds after you sent this email. You emptied my resume into your trash bin and quoted parts of my cover letter to your employees over lunch to make them laugh.
不，你們不會的。你發好這封郵件後馬上就刪了。我的簡歷被扔進垃圾桶，你們茶餘飯後還會取笑我求職信裏的內容。
“A lot of people are in the same position as you are!”
“很多人跟你們的情況相同。”
I believed you until I turned on the TV and saw all the teenagers in the commercials for the upcoming winter olympics.
我相信你們的話，直到我看電視看到冬奧會廣告裏的少年們。
“We really value all of our applicants and take time to observe each letter and resume carefully!”
“我們重視每個申請者，而且花時間仔細看每封求職信和簡歷。”
No you don’t.
你們纔不會呢。
“This is just opening the path for something better to come along!”
“這只是開始，會有更好的職位等着你。”
If by better you mean deferring student loans and picking up applications from Starbucks and Subway…then yes.
如果“更好”是說借不到學生貸款以及去星巴克和地鐵站打工的話，你們沒說錯。
“We had so many candidates- it was a TOUGH decision.”
“候選人太多——做決定很困難。”
You knew who you were going to hire when you interviewed me.
你們給我面試的時候就想好要不要聘用我了。
“We’ve all been in your situation before.”
“我們都經歷過你的情況。”
You started with this company as an intern during your senior year…
你大四的時候就在這家公司當實習生了啊……
“We’ll make a decision soon and let you know!”
“我們會很快做好決定通知你。”
It’s been 6 months…
已經6個月沒消息了……
“We encourage to reapply!”
“我們鼓勵求職者再次申請。”
When I emailed you several months later about another position you never replied...
幾個月後我發郵件問其他職位的情況，你們沒回復我啊……
