英語爆笑小笑話

本站小編爲大家整理的一些英語小笑話，希望我們的笑話欄目能夠給你的生活帶來一絲歡笑。

　　英語小笑話一：合理的憂傷

On his deathbed poor Lubin lies; His spouse is in despair; With frequent sobs and mutual cries; They both express their care. “A different cause，”says Parson Sly， “The same effect may give： Poor Lubin fears that he may die ; His wife，that he may live”.

馬修·普賴厄 可憐的魯賓躺在他的病牀裏; 他的妻子陷入絕望; 頻頻啜泣，相對哭啼， 他們都表達着憂傷。 “不同原因，”滑頭牧師說， “可產生同樣結果： 可憐的魯賓怕他會死; 他老婆，怕他會活。”

Compare other things?比一下其他?

Compare other things?比一下其他?

Son: Mom, John has a pair of shoes with Gordon’s name signed.

Mom: You just care about this? Haven’t you compared other things?

Son: Yes, his mother is prettier than you.

兒子：媽媽，John有雙喬丹簽名的球鞋。

媽媽：你只關心這個嗎?不會比一下其它東西?

兒子：有啊，他媽媽比你漂亮。

　　英語小笑話二：Is he dying?

A man was sitting in a bar with tears streaming down his face. A friend walked in and asked why he was so unhappy. The weeping one said, The doctor has just told me I'll have to take these tablets for the rest of my life.

Cheerfully, his friend pointed out that many people have to take tablets every day of their life. Sure, came the reply, but he only gave me ten.

一個男人坐在酒吧裏痛哭流淚。一個朋友走進來問他爲何如此傷心。那人哭着說：剛纔醫生告訴我，在我的餘生裏都要吃這些藥片。

他的朋友很輕鬆地指出，許多人一輩子每天都要吃藥。當然，男人回答說：但是他只給了我十片。

　　The blonde and the farmer

There was a blonde that was so sick of blonde jokes she died her hair red. The jokes stopped and she felt so good, she took a ride in the country one Saturday afternoon. While on this ride, she noticed a flock of sheep and stopped the car to take&n......。

一個金髮女郎，是那麼噁心的黃色笑話她把頭髮染成紅色。笑話停了下來，她覺得很好，她在農村的一個搭車的星期六下午。而在這旅程，她注意到一羣羊，停下車來把......。

　　英語小笑話三：太晚了 It's Too Late

A medical student was called on to state how much of a certain drug he would give to a patient. He promptly replied: "Five grains."

A minute later the student asked the professor, "May I correct my answer?" The professor looked at his watch and said: "It's too late. Your patient died thirty seconds ago."

一個醫科學生被要求說明他給病人服的那種藥的用量。他立即回答道：“五粒。”

一分鐘後，這個學生問教授：“我可以改正我的回答嗎?”教授看看手錶，說：“太晚啦，你的病人已在30秒鐘以前死了。”

　　英語小笑話四：The Fish Net

Can you tell me what fish net is made, Ann?

“你能告訴我魚網是什麼做的嗎，安?” 老師發問道。

A lot of little holes tied together with strings. replied the little girl.

“把許多小孔用繩子栓在一起就成了魚網了。”小女孩回答道。

　　英語小笑話五：Isn’t it wonderful?

"What are you so happy about?"a woman asked the 98-year-old man.

"I broke a mirror," he replied.

"But that means seven years of bad luck."

"I know." he said, beaming,"Isn’t it wonderful?"

這難道不好嗎?

“你高興什麼?”一個女士問一個98歲的老人。

“我打碎了一個鏡子。”他回答。

“但那預示着7年的壞運氣。”

“我知道。”他高興地說，“這難道不好嗎?”

　　英語小笑話六：Whats time to a pig?

One day a visitor from the city came to a small rural area to drive around the country roads, see how the farms looked, and perhaps to see how farmers earned their living. The city man saw a farmer in his yard, holding a pig up in his hands, and lifting it so that the pig could eat apples from an apple tree. The city man said to the farmer," I see that your pig likes apples, but isn"t that quite a waste of time?" The farmer replied," What"s time to a pig?"

一天，有一個城市裏的遊客來到一個小鄉村，在鄉間路上開着車，想看看農莊是什麼樣子，也想看看農夫怎樣種田過日子。這位城裏人看見一位農夫在宅後的草地 上，手中抱着一頭豬，並把它舉得高高的，好讓它能夠吃到樹上的蘋果。城裏人對農夫說，"我看你的豬挺喜歡吃蘋果的，但是，這不是很浪費時間嗎?"那位農夫 回答說，“時間對豬有什麼意義?”