英語笑話7篇爆笑笑死人的英語對話

本站網英語欄目爲您精選語言地道的英語爆笑笑話,讓你開心學英語。

　　英語爆笑笑話一：幾月走的

When Jack bowed to someone, he always did it at lightening speed. You shouldn't wait any longer after he has had his head nod. So he was blamed for no manners. Then some warmhearted men taught him, "When you bow to somebody next time, you can count 'January, February, March. until December. Then you can lift your body up. Thus, the ceremony will be perfect.

The next day, he met his uncle, he did as the men told him. The bow was so long that it made his uncle feel surprised and escaped away soon . When Jack looked up, he found his uncle gone . So he asked the passer, "Which month did he go away?"

傑克給人鞠躬，飛快地一點頭，就算完了。大家都怪他不懂禮貌。於是便有好心的人教他說，“下次鞠躬的時候，你就在心裏數：正月、二月、……一直數到十二月爲止，然後再直起身來。這樣，禮節就周全了。”

第二天，傑克見到他的叔叔，他便如法炮製。這躬鞠得太久，叔叔吃了一驚，趕緊逃開了。傑克擡頭一看，其叔早已不知去向，他便問過路人：“我叔叔幾月走的?”

　　英語爆笑笑話二：The ability of the Kangaroo 袋鼠的能力

The zoo built a special eight-foot-high enclosure for its newly acquired kangaroo, but the next morning the animal was found hopping around outside. The height of the fence was increased to 15 feet, but the kangaroo got out again. Exasperated, the zoo director had the height increased to 30 feet, but the kangaroo still escaped. A giraffe asked the kangaroo, "How high do you think they'll build the fence?"

"I don't know, " said the kangaroo. "Maybe a thousand feet if they keep leaving the gate unlocked.

動物園爲剛引進的袋鼠建了一個特殊的八英尺高的圍牆。但是第二天早上，人們發現這動物在圍牆外面蹦跳着。於是圍牆高度增加到十五英尺，但袋鼠還是跑了出來。動物園經理甚感惱火，又叫人把圍牆高度加到三十英尺，但袋鼠還是逃了出來。一個長頸鹿問袋鼠：“你認爲他們會把圍牆建到多高?” “我不知道，”袋鼠說，“如果他們繼續開着大門，可能要修到一千英尺吧。”

　　英語爆笑笑話三：什麼叫叛徒?

Young hopeful：“Father，what is a traitor in politics?” Father(a veteran politician)：“A traitor is a man who leaves our party and goes over to the other one.” Young hopeful：“Well then，what is a man who leaves his party and comes over to yours?” Father：“A convert，my son.”

有希望的青年人：“父親，什麼叫政治叛徒?” 父親(一位老資格的政治家)：“叛徒指的是離開我們黨而加入到另一個黨的人。” 有希望的青年人：“那麼，離開他的黨而加入到我們黨的人又叫什麼呢?” 父親：“叫改變信仰者。我的兒子。”

　　英語爆笑笑話四：馬克·吐溫

On one occasion when Mark Twain arrived in London from New York，the Star thought the fact worth recording onits evening there was another piece of news to bementioned：it was about the Ascot Cup being lacard thus ran： MARK TWAIN ARRIVES. ASCOT CUP STOLEN. Mark Twain，we believe，never heard the last of it.

有一次，馬克·吐溫從紐約起程抵達倫敦訪問，《星報》認爲這個消息值得登在它的晚招貼上。但是，還有一條消息也要登上：關於愛斯科杯被盜的消息。招貼是這樣寫的： 馬克·吐溫 光臨 愛斯科杯 被盜 我們相信，馬克·吐溫從來也沒聽說過這件事。

　　英語爆笑笑話五：父親在哪?

Two brothers were looking at some beautiful paintings.

"Look," said the elder brother. "How nice these paintings are!"

"Yes," said the younger, "but in all these paintings there is only the mother and the children. Where is the father?"

The elder brother thought for a moment and then explained, "Obviously he was painting the pictures."

兄弟倆在看一些漂亮的油畫。

“看，”哥哥說，“這些畫多漂亮呀!”

“是啊，”弟弟說道，“可是在所有這些畫中，只有媽媽和孩子。那爸爸去哪兒了呢?”

哥哥想了一會兒，然後解釋道：“很明顯，他當時正在畫這些畫唄。”

　　英語爆笑笑話六：兩塊蛋糕

Two Pieces of Cake

Tom: Mom, can I have two pieces of cake, please?

Mom: Certainly -- take this piece and cut it two!

兩塊蛋糕

湯姆：媽媽，我可以吃兩塊蛋糕嗎?

媽媽：當然可以----拿這塊蛋糕把它切成兩塊吧!

　　英語爆笑笑話七：I do not recognize you

Walking on the beach one day he saw a crab1, went to see what happens, suddenly crab pincers(鉗子) folder2, then crab bush run. Tiger jumped the pain, followed by the recovery of crabs3!

Catch up with no trees on the crab, and then to see a tiger in Shou Network spiders, tiger angry at Spider: Good you a crab! Do you think you posted on the Web and I do not recognize you!

一天老虎在沙灘散步，見到一隻螃蟹，就走過去想看個究竟，突然被螃蟹的鉗子夾了一下，螃蟹拔腿就往樹叢裏跑。老虎痛得跳起來了，緊接着就追螃蟹!

追到樹叢就不見螃蟹了，這時老虎看見一隻守在大網中的蜘蛛，老虎對着蜘蛛發火了：好你個螃蟹!你以爲你上了網我就不認得你了!