英語爆笑笑話7篇
下面是本站小編整理的英語爆笑笑話，歡迎大家閱讀!
英語爆笑笑話：Does Anyone Want a Nice Clean Plate?
Peter was ten years old. One day his friend Paul said to him, "I'm going to have a birthday party on Saturday, Peter. Can you you come?"
Peter asked his mother, and she said, "Yes, you can go." She phoned Paul's mother to tell her.
Before Peter went to the party on Saturday afternoon, his mother said to him, "Now, Peter, don't forget to be polite. Don't ask for food. Wait until someone gives it to you."
"All right, Mom," Peter answered, and he went to Paul's house on his bicycle.
There were a lot of children at the party. They played together for an hour, and then Paul's mother gave them some food; but she forgot to give Peter any. He waited politely for a few minutes, and then he held his plate up in the air and said loudly, "Does anyone want a nice clean plate?"
有人要乾淨的盤子嗎?
彼德十歲了。一天他的朋友保羅對他說：“彼德，星期六我要舉辦生日宴會，你能來嗎?”
彼德問母親，母親說：“沒問題，你去吧。”她還打電話通知了保羅的母親。
星期六下午，彼德去赴宴。臨行前，母親對他說：“彼德，別忘了禮貌。別主動要吃的，等別人拿給你。”
“好的，媽媽。”彼德回答。然後他騎着自行車去了保羅的家。
宴會上孩子很多，他們在一起玩了一個鐘頭。這裏保羅的母親給他們分發食品。但她忘了給彼德。彼德等了幾分鐘，然後把盤子舉在空中，大聲說：“有人要乾淨的盤子嗎?”
英語爆笑笑話：She'd rather buy a gift
While on a trip, Mom realized that she had forgotten a present for Dad's birthday. "That's okay," he said, "The only thing I want is for you to love, honor and obey." Mom pondered that idea and then replied "I'd rather buy you a gift."
她寧願買一件禮物
旅途中，媽媽想起她忘記給爸爸買一件生日禮物。"沒關係，"他說，"我最想要的東西是你的愛、忠貞和溫順。"媽媽沉思片刻後回答說，"我寧願給你買一件禮物。"
英語爆笑笑話：The ability of the Kangaroo
The zoo built a special eight-foot-high enclosure for its newly acquired kangaroo, but the next morning the animal was found hopping around outside. The height of the fence was increased to 15 feet, but the kangaroo got out again. Exasperated, the zoo director had the height increased to 30 feet, but the kangaroo still escaped. A giraffe asked the kangaroo, "How high do you think they'll build the fence?"
"I don't know, " said the kangaroo. "Maybe a thousand feet if they keep leaving the gate unlocked.
袋鼠的能力
動物園爲剛引進的袋鼠建了一個特殊的八英尺高的圍牆。但是第二天早上，人們發現這動物在圍牆外面蹦跳着。於是圍牆高度增加到十五英尺，但袋鼠還是跑了出來。動物園經理甚感惱火，又叫人把圍牆高度加到三十英尺，但袋鼠還是逃了出來。一個長頸鹿問袋鼠：“你認爲他們會把圍牆建到多高?”
“我不知道，”袋鼠說，“如果他們繼續開着大門，可能要修到一千英尺吧。”
英語爆笑笑話：Excellent Skills
After friends of mine landed at busy Newwark Airport, they were unable to attract the attention of any porters to help with their luggage. In desperation, the husband took out a five-dollar bill and waved it above the crowd.
In an instant, a skycap was at his side. Sir, observed the porter, you certainly have excellent communication skills.
絕妙的技巧
我的朋友們在繁忙的紐瓦克機場着陸後，他們卻不能招呼到腳伕來幫他們搬行李。無奈，丈夫拿出一張五美元的鈔票在人羣上面搖晃。
一個帶寬邊帽的人馬上來到他身邊。“先生，”腳伕說道，“很明顯你有絕妙的交際技巧。”
英語爆笑笑話：我沒有看到另外一塊
Mother: I left two pieces of cake in the cupboard this morning, Johnny, and now there is only one piece left. Can you explain that?Johnny: Well, I suppose it was so dark that I didn’t notice the other.
媽媽：約翰尼，我今天早上在櫥子裏放了兩塊點心。現在就剩下一塊了。你能解釋一下嗎?約翰尼：嗯，我想是因爲裏面太黑我沒看到另外那塊。
英語爆笑笑話：魔鬼的妹夫
A woman whose husband often came home drunk decided to cure him of the habit. One Halloween night, she put on a devil suit and hid behind a tree to intercept him on the way home.
一位婦人發現丈夫回家的時候總是爛醉如泥，她決定爲丈夫治好這個毛病。一個萬聖節夜裏，她穿上一套魔鬼戲服，躲在樹後，準備在丈夫返家時攔截他的去路。
When her husband came by, she jumped out and stood before him with her red horns, long tail, and pitchfork.
當丈夫走近時，她從樹後跳出來，站到他面前，頭上帶着紅色的羊角、身後有長長的尾巴，手中握着鋼叉。
"Who are you?" he asked.
“你是誰?”丈夫問到。
"I'm the Devil!" she responded.
“我是魔鬼!”她回答到。
"Well, come on home with me," he said, "I married your sister!"
“噢，那你跟我一起回家吧，”丈夫說，“我娶了你的姐妹!”
英語爆笑笑話：最醜的孩子?
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen."
一位女士抱着她的寶寶上公交車，司機看到後說：“額，那是我這輩子見過的最醜的小孩。”
The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me." The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."
女士走到車廂後面坐下，感到很憤怒。她對旁邊的男士說：“司機剛剛羞辱了我。”男士迴應說：“你快上去斥責他。去吧，我替你抱着你的猴子。”
