神吐槽西方人的20大迷信
These are some crazy and weird superstitions. Feel free to add some more, I know there are so many of them in this world.
世上總有些瘋狂又詭異的迷信存在。據我所知，這類迷信數量極其龐大，您也可以自由補充。
01
第一條：
The number 13.
數字“13”
It’s just a number. Yet, people tweak on Friday the 13th. Many airports don’t have a gate #13. (Like the folks at 12A won’t figure it out.) Many hotels don’t have a floor #13.
這只是個數字。但是，每逢13號的禮拜五，人們普遍都會焦慮。很多機場沒有13號登機口（好吧，你們真的以爲12A登機口的乘客們不會發覺嗎？）很多賓館也沒有13樓。
I was always told that the superstition is based on the idea that Judas, the bad disciple, was the 13th man to sit down to the table at The Last Supper. I think a more rational superstition would be to fear bad disciples.
人們告訴我，這個關於數字13的迷信來自叛徒猶大。他是那個壞信徒，是那個在“最後的晚餐”中第13個坐下的人。我覺得與其迷信13， 不如迷信“壞信徒會帶來厄運”，這樣更理智些。
02
第二條：
An acorn at the window will keep lightning out.
在窗邊掛一隻橡果可以防止被閃電擊中。
That is some acorn.
唔…真是神奇的橡果啊。
03
第三條：
Spit on a new bat before using it for the first time to make it lucky.
在新球棒上吐口口水，可以保持好運。
Gross. Gross. Gross. In the spring of 2009, in fear of the Swine Flu, high schools all over the country forbade their athletes from shaking hands after the game. Pretty sure “not spitting on the bat” was implied.
好惡心，好惡心，好惡心！在09年春，由於害怕豬流感的傳播，全美的高中禁止運動員們在賽後握手。我很肯定他們也同樣禁止了往球棒上吐口水這事兒。
And speaking in terms of basic physics, having a lubricated bat makes for less friction, and therefore, slippery balls … okay, now I’m just out of control.
此外，從基本物理學的角度來講，一個被口水潤滑過的球棒的摩擦力更小，因此擊球打滑的機率更大了…好吧，我真是精神病人思維廣啊。
04
第四條：
In order to write this article, I had to get a Ph.D. in butterflies…
爲了寫這篇文章，我得先去拿個蝴蝶研究的博士學位：
The early appearance of butterflies indicates fair weather.
蝴蝶出現得比以往早，預示着天氣不錯。
If the first butterfly is yellow, it will be sunny weather.
如果第一隻蝴蝶是黃色的，那會是晴天。
If the first butterfly is white, it will be rainy summer.
如果第一隻蝴蝶是白色的，那會是雨天。
If the first butterfly is white, someone will die.
如果第一隻蝴蝶是白色的，會有人去世。
If the first butterfly is red, you will be healthy.
如果第一隻蝴蝶是紅色的，你會很健康。
If a white butterfly comes, summer follows.
如果飛來了一隻白蝴蝶，預示着夏天來了。
If a white butterfly flies from the southwest, expect rain.
如果一隻白蝴蝶從西南方向飛來，那就要下雨了。
If butterflies are found hanging from the underside of rails or branches, it’s going to rain.
如果蝴蝶在圍欄或樹枝的下方飛舞，預示着快下雨了。
If they are on the top of small branches, it will not rain.
如果發現它們在小樹枝上方，說明不會下雨。
If the first butterfly is dark, it means thunderstorms.
如果第一隻蝴蝶是深色的，雷雨很快要來了。
If the first butterfly is yellow, someone is going to give birth.
如果第一隻蝴蝶是黃色的，有人快生孩子了。
If a white butterfly enters your house and flies around you, you will die.
如果一隻白蝴蝶進了家裏，繞着你不停飛，你將要死去。
If a moth lands on the mother of a newborn, the baby will die.
如果一隻蛾子落在新生兒的母親身上，這個小孩很快便會死去。
If a butterfly flies into your house, someone you know will die.
如果一隻蝴蝶飛進你家，你認識的某人將要死去。
If a butterfly flies into your house, someone will get married.
如果一隻蝴蝶飛進你家，說明某人要結婚了。
If you capture a butterfly, you will be struck dead.
如果你抓住了一隻蝴蝶，你會被車撞死。
If you see a butterfly at night, you will die.
如果你在夜晚見到蝴蝶，便將會死去。
There! Simple, right?
呼，寫完了！很“通俗易懂”吧，嗯？
05
第五條：
A cat onboard a ship is considered to bring luck.
如果船上有貓，預示着會有好運。
I used to live on a ship. A cat would have been a real drag. All of those spaces to hide in, poop in, pee in? All of that machinery to get torn to pieces in? And who exactly would have been in charge of cleaning the litter boxes? Litter boxes are never lucky.
我曾經在船上住過。貓絕對是個累贅。船上的角角落落都是它藏身、大小便的地方；甚至連機械裝置都被破壞成了一片片的。有誰會願意負責清理那些垃圾桶？垃圾桶可不是什麼吉祥玩意兒。
06
第六條：
If three people are photographed together, the one in the middle will die first.
如果三個人一起拍照，中間的那個會最先死掉。
I can’t rationalize it, but this one just gives me the shivers.
我不知道它是真是假，但這條讓我毛骨悚然。
07
第七條：
If you stick your hands in your pocket while walking past a graveyard, it will protect your parents.
經過墓地的時候，如果你把雙手插在兜裏，便能保護你的父母。
Makes me wonder what happens if I turn my pockets inside out. Or, take off my pants and wave my arms around.
我不禁好奇：假如我把裏兜翻出來會發生什麼？或者，假如我脫掉褲子搖搖手臂，又會發生些啥？
08
第八條：
Never take a broom along when you move. It is bad luck. Throw it out and buy a new one.
搬家的時候不要帶走掃帚，它會帶來厄運。把它扔了，買個新的。
Isn’t that common sense? A used broom is kind of a nasty thing to box up with the linens. Like packing up used trash cans. A new broom costs like two dollars.
這不是常識嗎？用過的掃帚很髒，沒法跟亞麻製品放一起啊。這就跟打包帶走用過的垃圾桶一樣好笑。再說，一把新掃帚只需要兩美元。
09
第九條：
If a candle blows out, evil spirits are nearby.
如果蠟燭熄滅，說明附近有邪惡靈魂。
Or, there’s a draft.
或者也可能只是有陣風。
10
第十條：
It is bad luck to light three cigarettes with the same match.
用一根火柴點燃3根香菸，會帶來厄運。
Yeah it is. And that bad luck is called cancer.
嗯沒錯。這個厄運的名字叫“癌症”。
11
第十一條：
Evil spirits can’t harm you when you stand inside a circle.
當你站在一個圈內，邪惡的靈魂便傷害不到你。
Oh, that explains all those people walking up and down the street wearing hula hoops.
哦，難怪有些人會戴着呼啦圈在街上走來走去啊！
12
第十二條：
It’s bad luck to pick up a coin if it’s tails side up. Good luck comes if it’s heads up.
如果撿起的硬幣反面朝上，則會帶來厄運；正面朝上會帶來好運。
In this economy, a little bad luck is worth the nickel.
在當前經濟形勢下，就算會帶來厄運我也不會放過地上那個硬幣的。
13 – oops, should I have called this one #12A?
第十三條：呃，我是不是該命名它爲第12A條？
A cricket in the house brings good luck.
家裏發現蟋蟀，會有好運。
It will also bring cricket poop.
也會有蟋蟀糞便啊親。
14
第十四條：
If the palm of your right hand itches, it means you will soon be getting money. If the palm of your left hand itches, it means you will soon be paying out money.
假如你右手掌發癢，說明很快就能獲得一筆錢；假如你左手掌癢，說明你很快要付出去一筆錢。
If the palm of either of your hands is itching, you might want to get that checked.
假如你兩隻手都癢，那我建議你還是去醫院檢查一下吧。
15
第十五條：
A knife as a gift from a lover means that the love will soon end.
如果愛人送了一把小刀作爲禮物，說明愛情很快會結束。
Who gives their lover a knife for a gift? What happened to roses or chocolate? Creepy!
誰會送自己愛人一把刀啊！送玫瑰送巧克力不都行嘛？真是有毛病啊！
and
還有：
A knife placed under the bed during childbirth will ease the pain of labor.
分娩的時候，在枕頭下放把刀能減輕分娩疼痛。
If I were the impregnator, I would be very nervous.
如果我是那個孕婦，我會更緊張的。
16
第十六條：
Salty soup is a sign that the cook is in love.
湯太鹹，說明那個廚子戀愛了。
Check the sodium content on any can in any grocery store and feel good about how much love there is in the world.
隨便走進一家百貨店，隨便拿起一個罐頭看看它的鹽分含量吧。你會發現世界簡直充滿了愛了！
17
第十七條：
Three seagulls flying together, directly overhead, are a warning of death soon to come.
如果三隻海鷗一起從你頭上直直飛過，預示着死亡很快會降臨。
Or poop on your head.
也預示着你頭頂會有一泡屎。
18
第十八條：
Place a hand in front of your mouth when sneezing so that your soul cannot escape.
打噴嚏的時候，用手捂住你的嘴，可以防止靈魂外逃。
Now they tell us to sneeze into our armpits. I’ve got to feel sorry for any soul that gets sneezed into an armpit.
現在他們又叫我們往胳肢窩裏打噴嚏了。我真爲那些被噴進胳肢窩的靈魂感到惋惜。
19
第十九條：
The number of Xs in the palm of your right hand is the number of children you will have.
右手掌有幾個“X”，預示着你會有幾個孩子。
I counted. I will have 47 children.
我數了一下。嗯， 我會有47個孩子。
20
第二十條：
A new bride must be carried over the threshold because it’s bad luck if she falls.
新娘必須被抱着進入洞房，因爲要是她摔跤了，那可就大難臨頭了。
I always thought it was because she was hammered from the reception.
呃，我一直以爲這是因爲新娘之前喝太多了，才被抱進去的。
