英語專業同學最討厭聽到的17句戳心話
1.“So are you going to be a teacher?”
“那麼，你會在以後選擇從事教師職業？”
You’re a math major, are you going to be acalculator?
照這麼說，你數學專業畢業的以後就要去做一個計算器咯？
2.“I just really wanted to have a practical major.”
“我真的只想學一門實用的專業。”
You’re right. Words are totally impractical, that’s why nobody uses them.
說的沒錯！語言這個東西是完全不切合實際的，所以咱們纔不會用到它。
3.“So do you just read all the time?”
“那麼，你就一直是在讀書？”
Precisely. And it’s awesome. I got to make out with Mr. Darcy earlier, what did you do today?
沒錯！這可是夠厲害的了！我今早剛和達西先生共度了美好時光，你今天都幹了些什麼？
4.“I like to read too, I just wish I had the time.”
“我也喜歡讀書，可是我真希望自己能有充足的時間。”
Yes, I’m an English major because I just didn’t have anything better to do.
5.“I wanted to major in English but my parents would have killedme.”
“我想研讀英語專業，但是我父母會爲此殺了我的！”
Yeah, my parents considered murdering me, but I guess they decided that doing what I love while pursuing a degree probably isn’t the worst offense.
呵呵，我爸媽也曾經想殺了我，可我估計他們認爲我能邊學我喜歡的東西還能順便得到一個學位，這也並不是一個差主意。
6.(On a date): “Are you going to put this in your book?
（約會中……)“你準備把這個場景寫進你的書中嗎？”
Don’t flatter yourself.
別王婆賣瓜自賣自誇了好嗎？！7.“But, like, what’s thepointof poetry?”
“但是，比如說，這首詩的意義是什麼？”
I don’t know, what’s the “point” of life?
我不知道誒，那你知道生活的“意義”又是什麼嗎？
8.“It must be so nice having a light course load.”
“這麼輕的課程負擔一定很棒吧？
Try carrying my backpack.
你拎拎我的揹包試試！
9.“So are you one of those hipsters that smokes cigarettes and drinks black coffee all day?”
“所以你就是那些整天抽菸、喝黑咖啡的嬉皮士？
I’m an English major, not a film noir character.
我是英語專業的！不是什麼黑色電影的主角！
10.“Me and Sarah — sorry,Sarah and I… You must be a total grammar Nazi.”
“我和莎拉——不對，是莎拉和我……你肯定是一個“語法糾正狂”
Don’t worry, I only judge you on the inside.
放心~我只會在心裏默默糾正你的。
11.“Oh, creative writing? Sometimes I write for fun too!”
“哇，創意寫作？有時候我也喜歡寫點東西找找樂子。”
Yeah, trying to plumb the depths of the human condition is a real walk in the park. I like to do it in my spare time too.
對啊，嘗試探索人的處境深處就像在公園裏散個步一樣輕鬆。我也喜歡在閒暇時光做點寫作哦~12.“I’ve been up all night, this problem set is killing me. It must beso niceto just write an essay.”
“整夜睡不着覺，這問題快把我折磨死了。你們專業只用寫一篇論文肯定是一件很愜意的事吧。”
It must beso niceto have a major where there are right answers.
有一個永遠都能得出正確答案的專業纔是一件很愜意的事情吧！
13.“So are you applying to law school?”
“那麼，你要申請去法學院學習了？
No... are you?
纔不呢……你呢？
14.“I’m so excited for my humanities requirement! I really need a break.”
“我的人文學科程要求真的是太讓我振奮了！我需要喘口氣兒緩一會……”
Totally! Try ENGL312: Queer and Marxist Critical Readings of Beowulf. Easy A.
真的是！！用同性戀和馬克思主義批判方法解讀貝奧武夫。輕輕鬆鬆論文拿到A！
注：貝奧武夫（Beowulf）：英國無名氏所作的一部古老史詩中的傳奇英雄。貝奧伍爾弗殺死妖怪格倫德爾及妖怪的母親，成爲耶牙特的國王，最後死於與一條龍的爭鬥中。）
15.“A humanities degree in this economy? Do you ever regret that?”
“想在這種經濟形勢下拿到人文學科的學位？你曾經後悔這麼做麼？”
I tend not to regret the things that give my life meaning.
我纔不會後悔這些賦予了我生命意義的事情。
16.“But, like, what are you going to do for money?”
“但是，照這麼說，你是爲了錢才這麼做的？
I don’t know, it’s a really tough economy. The only jobs left for me are the ones that can’t be done by machines.
我不知道，經濟真的是太艱難了。我唯一能幹的工作就是那些無法被機器取代的事兒了。
17.“Could you edit my [cover letter, essay, email to my grandma]?”
“你能幫我編輯求職信、散文以及給我奶奶發一封郵件嗎？”
Sorry, I have no employable skills with which to do that.
抱歉啦，我還沒有技能去做這些瑣事。
