生活中總會遇到的7種討厭的人(上)
I don't like to judge or talk poorly about people and I sincerely believe that EVERY single person possesses at least 3 wonderful qualities.
我不喜歡評價別人或者說別人的壞話，我由衷地相信，每個人都至少具有3條極佳的品質。In fact, it is a game I sometimes play when I get really frustrated with someone. While I am huffing and puffing, I try to find 3 positive qualities about the person, who has pushed my buttons. Not always an easy task, but 3 good qualities is a realistic number.
實際上，這是當我確認因某人而抓狂時有時會做的一個遊戲。當我要大發雷霆時，我努力去尋找惹我生氣的這個人的3條積極的品質。這並不總是一件容易的事，但是3條好品質的確是現實存在的。So where were we… Oh, yes – people that make our life harder. Not because they are bad people, but because they do certain things that may demotivate us, hurt our feelings or rub our ego the wrong way. Ultimately, it is not their problem but ours.
好吧，我們說到哪裏了……哦，對，生活中令我們抓狂的人。這不是因爲他們是壞人，而是因爲他們做的某些事可能會讓我們失去動力、傷害我們的感情或者磨滅了我們的自我意識。歸根結底，這不是他們的問題，而是我們自己的問題。
So here is what we can do to avoid unnecessary conflicts, stress and hard feelings.
因此，做到以下幾點可以讓我們避免不必要的衝突、壓力和怨氣。hers that suggest that we might not be talented enough to do something
1.暗示我們沒天分做不好某事的老師Years ago psychologists did a classroom experiment. A group of children were randomly divided into two classes. The teachers were told that the students in first class were high achievers that should do well. The second class was labeled as "underachievers" who needed special help.
幾年前心理學家做了一個課堂實驗。一羣孩子被隨機分成兩個班。老師們被告知：第一個班裏的學生是優等生，會表現很好。第二個班的學生則被打上標籤：需要特殊幫助的"差等生"。At the beginning of the year there was no difference between the two groups of children in terms of ability. However, by the end of the school year the class that was labeled ‘high-achievers' did better than average work, while the class of so-called "underachievers" not only scored poorly, but they were less liked by their teacher.
在學年初，兩個班的孩子在能力方面並沒有表現出什麼不同。然而，到了學年末，被認爲是"優等生"的班級成績要出色得多，然而所謂的"差等生"的班級不僅考試分數很低，也不怎麼受老師喜歡。It turned out that people unconsciously create situations that encourage expected behavior. If our expectations of a person are negative, we actually encourage them to behave negatively.
結果表明，人們無意中創造了一些激勵預期行爲的環境。如果我們對一個人的期望是消極的，我們真的會導致他們去做一些消極的事情。What to do about it:
如何應對：If you want to change someone else's behavior, change your expectations about this person. Expect better from people, treat them accordingly and sooner or later they will begin to act that way.
如果你想改變別人的行爲，那就改變你對此人的期望。對人們期望得更好，並相應地去對待他們，遲早他們會開始如你所願去做的。es that ask "Would you do me a favor?" 5 minutes before you have to leave the office
2.在離下班5分鐘時問你"能否幫個忙"的上司It is easy to suspect that these people are actually making our life harder on purpose. But for the sake of your own peace of mind, it is better not to let these thoughts get you all worked up.
我們很容易就懷疑，這些人實際上在故意地爲難你。但是爲了你自己內心的安寧，最好不要讓這些想法把你激怒。What to do about it:
如何應對：Well, there is always a polite way to say "no" and offer a constructive solution. However, if you feel that the project is urgent, take the initiative to help your team or your company out. It's give and take.
好吧，總有一種禮貌的方式來說"不"，然後提出一個有建設性的解決方法。然而，如果你感到這個項目比較緊急，那麼就積極主動地幫助你的團隊或者公司。互相遷就一下。Today you will stay after work to finish the project and next time your boss may be equally understanding if you have to leave work early.
今天你在下班後留下來完成項目。下一次，如果你不得不提前下班，你的老闆或許也會同樣理解你並做出讓步。old ladies
3.刻薄的老太太There is always a reason why an old lady gives you a stern look – you are being too loud, you are dressed inappropriately, you are not crossing the street in the right place. Sometimes it can be endearing, but if you are already having a bad day, a mean old lady can drive you to the edge of frustration.
老太太嚴厲地看着你，必定會有一個原因：你說話聲音太大了，你的穿着不得體，你沒有在正確的地方過馬路。有時這也挺討人喜歡的，但是如果你心情已經很糟糕了，那麼一個刻薄的老太太會把你逼到崩潰的邊緣。What to do about it:
如何應對：I've come to realize that when people initiate conflicts, it is actually an expression of their inner state expressed externally. You, your personality, your looks or your actions have nothing to do with it. It is not personal, so why take it personally?
我漸漸意識到，每當人們激起矛盾，這實際上是一種將內在狀態外化的表現。你、你的個性、你的外貌還有你的行爲與此無關。這並不是關乎某個人的事情，所以爲什麼認爲這是針對你的呢？
