看似有愛實際卻很危險的戀愛習慣大綱
Relationship Habits That You Think Are Loving, but Are Actually Dangerous
看似有愛實際卻很危險的戀愛習慣
Making your partner your ultimate priority
凡事以另一半爲重
"Making a partner your first priority before yourself is a 'spiritual don't' because the secret to life is to love another as icing on an already great cake. If you dare to make that person more important, you are out of balance in your energy field. You walk a fragile line with yourself, and if anything should happen, or they leave you, or the relationship changes course, then you are a fallen soul with no means to get up. One must love in a healthy way by always making themselves number one in self-care." - Audrey Hope, relationship expert.
“千萬不要事事以另一半爲重，因爲錦上添花的愛情纔是幸福生活的祕訣。如果你凡事以另一半爲重，那你的能量場將處於失衡狀態。自此，你生活得小心翼翼，如有意外發生或另一半離開了你或者你們的關係發生了變化，你的靈魂將會墮落，無處安放。談戀愛的時候，凡事應以自我爲重，這纔是一種健康的戀愛觀。”—戀情專家安德魯·霍普（Audrey Hope）。
Trying to change someone
試圖改變另一半
"Many times, a person will feel as though they can change their spouse to save or help. Once you stop taking your spouse's inventory you may feel less resentment and you may feel better about the relationship since the pressure is off you and now is back on the individual's lap." - Lisa Bahar, marriage and family therapist.
“很多時候，你覺得自己可以改變另一半來幫助或拯救他/她。當你不再試圖改變另一半的時候，你會覺得世界如此美好，甚至開始對這段戀情改觀，這是因爲你不再承受改變他/她的壓力，開始關注自我了。”—婚姻和家庭治療師麗莎·巴哈爾（Lisa Bahar）。
Moving in together too soon
閃電般同居
"People come to me for advice often because they had a whirlwind few dates, and moved in after a few months of dating. Having made that commitment, they then realize, more fully, who the other person is and they're not happy. Maybe he or she is too close with an ex, has kids that were never mentioned, has debt, is a freeloader, etc. Always wait a year before moving in together—at least. This may seem like a long time if you're madly in love, but living together and making a long-term relationship last has more to do with compatibility and shared values than it does chemistry." - April Masini, relationship and etiquette expert.
“總有人在約會幾次或約會幾個月閃電般同居後向我尋求建議。做出這一承諾後，他/她才逐漸瞭解對方的真實樣子，並對此不甚滿意。或許對方和前任走得太近，或許他/她從未提及自己有個孩子，或許他/她負債累累，再或者，他/她是那種白吃白喝的人。個人建議至少相處一年以後再同居。如果你們正處於熱戀期，一年似乎十分漫長，但同居和建立長久的關係可不只關乎化學反應，更注重的是彼此是否能和睦共處，是否有相同的價值觀。”—戀情和禮節專家埃普麗爾·瑪希尼（April Masini）。
Always picking up the tab
買單的人總是你
"You may think you are being so good and helping them, but in fact, you are not letting learn to stand on their own two feet. The more you lend them, the more you are making them dependent and discouraging them from becoming self-reliant." - Elliott Katz
“你可能覺得自己善解人意，是在幫助他/她，但實際上，這樣做只會讓對方依賴你。你越是借錢給他/她，他/她就越依賴你，越不想變得獨立。”—埃利奧特·卡茲（Elliott Katz）。
