想要融洽的戀愛關係 千萬別做這些事
Relationship experts share the worst mistakes they see couples make — and how to avoid them.
戀愛專家們與我們分享了情侶們犯的最糟糕的錯誤——以及該如何避免這些錯誤。
"It's important to cultivate independent interests," says Natalie Dattilo, Ph.D., a clinical and health psychologist with IU Health Physicians. "Having fun together is great, but you need know how to have fun apart from each other."
“有自己的興趣是十分重要的，”臨牀醫師兼健康心理師Natalie Dattilo博士和印度大學健康醫師們說道。“一起玩鬧很好，但你也要知道離開了對方該如何讓自己開心。”
"Realize that all relationships involve a process and it's more important to evolve your relationship forward instead of worrying about creating a 'perfect' relationship," says Larry Shushansky, a speaker, author, and family therapist.
“要意識到所有的感情都是有個過程的，相比擔心創造一段‘完美’的感情，思考讓你們的感情如何向前發展更爲重要，” Larry Shushansky說道，她是一位演講家、作者和家庭治療師。
"In a world where most people view themselves as trees blending into the same forest, genuine admiration can make a tree feel like a snowflake — unique and special," says Wendy Patrick, an attorney and author of Red Flags: How to Spot Frenemies, Underminers, and Other Toxic People in Every Area of Your Life . "Think of ten things you genuinely admire about your partner that make them unique. This list can include physical, intellectual, professional, and personal observations. By the time you're done, you'll realize how lucky you are to have your partner."
“在這個世界中，大多數的人都覺得自己是棵樹，融入到了同一片森林中，真正的愛慕會讓這棵樹感覺自己是片雪花——獨一無二，”律師兼書籍 Red Flags: How to Spot Frenemies, Underminers, and Other Toxic People in Every Area of Your Life的作者溫迪·帕特里克說道。“想想看你真正愛慕另一半的十大特點，正是這些特點讓他與衆不同。這些特點可能包括體型、智力、職業和個人觀察。等你找到這十大特點時，你會意識到能和他在一起很幸運。”
"Hating or disliking yourself sets up an unhealthy relationship dynamic. When you love and accept yourself, you're less likely to tolerate unloving behavior from your partner or anyone else," says Jennifer Spaulding, a love and relationship coach.
“討厭自己會建立一個動態的不健康的戀愛關係。當你愛自己接受自己時，你往往就不能容忍另一半或其他人有不愛你的行爲，”戀愛教練Jennifer Spaulding說道。
"One of the most important components to a successful partnership is individuality. You don't want your entire life to revolve around his. Don't just be interested in him," explains Laurel House, dating and relationship coach on E!'s Famously Single. "Be interesting to him. Have an opinion, share a perspective based on independent experiences and passions. Find a hobby, pursue a side job, volunteer with a favorite nonprofit, have an activity that inspires you, and is just yours. Unless you maintain your individuality your man first fell for, he could lose interest."
“成功的戀愛關係中最重要的一點就是個性。你不希望你的一生都爲愛情而活。不要只是對他感興趣，” E!'s Famously Single的約會情感教練勞拉·豪斯說道。“對他有興趣，但也要有自己的看法，基於自己的個人經驗和熱情分享自己的見解。培養愛好、有自己的副業、可以去自己喜歡的非營利機構做志願者、參加可以鼓舞你的活動，這纔是你。除非你能保持着當初男朋友愛上你時你所顯現的個性，否則他對你的興趣很可能會漸漸淡去。”
"Do you know who you are? What are the things that you stand for? Oftentimes when you are feeling off, unfulfilled, or not yourself, it's because you are being untrue to one of your core values," says House.
“你知道自己是誰嗎？你支持的事情又是什麼呢？很多時候你都情緒低落、不滿足或者感到不是自己了，這都是因爲你並沒有按照自己的核心價值做事啊，”豪斯說道。
