現如今跨國戀背後的艱辛與浪漫
Even though she has lived in Beijing for several years, Chinese men are still a closed book to Cathie Watson.
即使已經在北京生活多年，凱蒂?沃森對於中國男士還是知之甚少。The 27-year-old from the UK says she is unable to read the signs - or rather, the lack of signs - given off by Chinese men. “Quiet”, “hard to reach out to” and “shy” are the words Watson uses as she tries to describe them to China Daily.
這位27歲的英國姑娘表示，自己難以讀懂中國男士傳達出的“信息”，確切的說是他們身上缺少這種信息。在接受《中國日報》採訪時，她用“安靜”、“拒人千里之外”、“靦腆”等詞來描述中國男士。In a country that is integrating with the world in dimensions across the spectrum, cross-cultural relationships have become more common.
在這個方方面面都與世界接軌的國度，跨國戀情越來越常見。
However, different dating cultures, communication norms and personalities forged in various social contexts pose both challenges and opportunities for young people involved romantically with someone from another country.
然而，不同社會背景下造就了約會文化、交際規範以及個性上的各不相同，這在爲年輕跨國情侶製造機會的同時，也帶來了挑戰。
Introverted men
內斂的男士Hu Yiqiang, 31, a Beijing-based online shop owner, has set his heart on finding a non-Chinese wife or partner, mainly because he is frustrated at the demands made by some Chinese women - a big apartment, a nice car and a good job are the usual requirements cited by Chinese dates, Hu says. That’s not what he wants.
31歲的胡義強（音譯）是北京一家網店的店主，他一心想要找個外國人做老婆或女友。胡義強表示，這主要是因爲，一些中國女性開出的大房子、名車、好工作等要求令他望而卻步。而這種戀情並非他想要的。But according to women from abroad, Chinese men are not easy to hang out with, either.
但與此同時，一些外國女性也表示，中國男士不太容易接近。Alicia Feng, 26, who works for a law firm, recently arrived in China from the US and has found that people are very different from her peers back in California. “Men here just appear more introverted,” she says.
26歲的艾麗西婭?馮在一家律師事務所工作，最近剛剛從美國來到中國的她發現，中國人和自己以前在加州的朋友完全不同。“中國男士似乎更加內向。”她說道。Different attitudes
態度不同Andrea Bacon, 29, who works as a foreign expert in a meteorological lab, came to Beijing more than 18 months ago with her Chinese boyfriend, whom she met in the US. According to her, Chinese men are very considerate and pay attention to every detail, which she thinks is very touching.
29歲的安德烈亞?培根是一所氣象實驗室的外國專家，一年半之前，她隨中國男友來到北京，他們二人是在美國相遇的。在她看來，中國男士十分體貼，關注每一個細節，她覺得這非常令人感動。“Obviously, Beijing is quite a strange place for me and at the beginning he tried to accompany me to many multicultural events so I could mingle in a familiar environment. I thought that was very sweet,” Bacon says.
“顯然，北京對我來說是一個完全陌生的城市。起初，他嘗試着陪我去參加一些跨文化交流活動，讓我可以融入一個相對熟悉的環境之中。我認爲這是十分溫柔體貼的舉動。”培根說。However, Bacon also admits that her boyfriend’s attitude is very Chinese and the problems that face all young people in the big city, such as buying an apartment, weigh heavily on him. “He always seems to be under some sort of pressure, but I care more about how well we get along with each other,” Bacon says.
儘管如此，培根承認男友的觀念仍十分中國化，那些大城市年輕人所面臨的買房等問題也深深困擾着他。“他看上去總是壓力重重，但我更在乎我們之間如何更好地相處。”培根說道。Bridging the dating gap
跨越距離愛上你For Roy Huggins, who has provided long-term counseling for many interracial couples in the US and other countries since 2010, overcoming cultural differences is crucial to ensuring the longevity of a relationship.
羅伊?哈金斯從2010年開始就向美國及其他國家的跨國戀情侶提供長期諮詢服務。他認爲，克服文化差異是確保跨國戀穩定長久的關鍵。“Based on academic studies and my experience with clients from Japan, Southeast Asia, and a few from China, being from a collectivist culture, Chinese partners are likely to clash with American or other Western partners about responsibility to family and helping each other meet individual needs,” he says. “For example, a Chinese partner may think less of an American or Canadian partner who seems ‘needy’.”
“結合學術研究，以及我與日本、東南亞及中國客戶打交道的經驗來看，受集體主義文化薰陶的中國人在家庭責任、滿足彼此需求等方面的觀念往往與美國或其他西方人截然相反，”他說。“比如，對於美國人或者加拿大人認爲嚴重的問題，他們的中國情侶可能會認爲無足輕重。”In a recent article It’s Hard to Say “I Love You” in Chinese, on China File online magazine, Roseann Lake, a China-based writer from the US, discovered that Chinese men find it very hard to cross the boundary into uncharted territory and express their love in a straightforward, direct way, even though they may be intensely in love with their partner or spouse.
在線雜誌《中參館》最新刊登了一篇名爲《難以啓齒的“我愛你”》的文章，現居中國的美國作家羅斯安?萊克發現，即使是向他們深愛着的伴侶或配偶，中國人依舊很難跨越進入未知領域，大膽直接地表達愛意。
