又到一年畢業季 註定也是分手季嗎?

Li Yi felt his heart breaking into pieces. The 25-year-old traffic engineering major at Beijing Jiaotong University stared at the text message from his girlfriend, who had just broken up with him. It made his already bittersweet graduation even more painful.

25歲的李毅（音譯）就讀於北京交通大學交通運輸工程系，當他看着女友發來的分手短信時，感覺自己心碎一地，這給他本已喜憂參半的畢業季又平添了幾許淒涼。

Many students experience great difficulties in their relationship when they graduate from college. Experts say it is a result of their impatience in overcoming love-related problems and a lack of planning in their love life.

很多大學生在畢業時都會面臨情感危機，專家表示，這往往是因爲大學生在處理情感問題上缺乏耐心，在情感生活中沒有規劃。

Painful parting

甜蜜開始 傷心分離

Having been together for seven years, Li and his girlfriend always tried to make their relationship work. But their biggest challenge came when Li got a job at a State-owned company, which promised him a Beijing hukou (household registration).

李毅和女友已經在一起七年時間了，他們努力維持着彼此的感情。但是當李毅簽約一家可以解決北京戶口的國企時，感情危機爆發了。

His girlfriend, however, hadn’t found a job offering her such an opportunity, so she decided to return to her hometown in Jiangsu province.

他的女友並未找到這樣可以解決戶口的工作，因此她決定回江蘇老家發展。

“My chance of getting a Beijing hukou was a burden on our relationship,” Li says. “My girlfriend told me that a hukou means a stable and promising future for me, but without it she has to go her separate way.”

李毅說:“北京戶口竟成了我們感情的負擔，我女朋友說北京戶口意味着我可以有一個穩定光明的前程，而沒有北京戶口的她只能另走他路”。

Zhang Danyu also broke up with her boyfriend recently. The 22-year-old accounting student at Shanghai University did so because her boyfriend is going to study abroad for two years.

22歲的張丹語（音譯）就讀於上海大學會計學專業，她最近也遭遇戀情告吹，原因是男友將要出國留學兩年。

“I don’t know whether I can bare the loneliness of a long-distance relationship, especially when he is in a different county,” she says.

張丹語說:“我不確定我能否忍受異地戀的孤單寂寞，特別是這樣一段跨國戀。”

Besides, she’s afraid that his overseas experience will grant him a different view of the world than her. “If that’s the case, we can no longer communicate smoothly as we did in the past,” she says.

此外，她也擔心海外求學的經歷令男友的視野更廣闊，從而拉開他們之間的距離。“如果那樣的話，我們就不能像以前那樣順暢地溝通了。”她說。

Easy way out

最簡單的方式 最痛苦的選擇

According to Xia Xueluan, professor of sociology at Peking University, students break up because it’s the easiest choice.

北京大學社會學系教授夏學鸞認爲，大學生之所以會選擇分手，是因爲那是一條最簡單的解決辦法。

“In graduation season, couples often face two problems: They will go to different places, and they will cultivate different world views due to their different social and work experiences,” he says. “Both problems are difficult for students to overcome. Therefore, breaking up is regarded as the easiest option.”

他說:“情侶們在畢業季時往往會面臨兩個難題:一是他們要各奔東西，二是由於不同的工作經驗與社會閱歷，他們的世界觀也各異。而面對這兩大難題，學生們往往束手無策，因此分手就成了最簡單的解決方式”。

Zhang Jiarui, a relationship expert at , believes that students’ tendency to break up in graduation season is also the result of a lack of planning in their love life.

來自世紀佳緣交友網的情感專家張佳芮（音譯）認爲，大學生之所以容易在畢業季時選擇分手，也是感情生活缺乏規劃所致。

“Most of them rarely think about marriage. Even worse, they don’t yet have an idea of who their ideal spouse is,” she says. “Under these circumstances they show little responsibility toward their college relationship.”

她說:“大多數大學生在談戀愛時很少考慮結婚的問題，更糟糕的是，他們甚至都不清楚自己的理想伴侶是什麼樣子的，在這種情況下，他們對於自己的大學戀情幾乎沒有什麼責任感。”

But Lei Wuming, professor of psychology at Wuhan University of Technology, says students should not avoid college relationships just because they may fail. “The purpose of being in a relationship is not merely getting married, but learning to communicate with people of the opposite sex. No matter how their college relationship ends, students will have learned important skills,” he says.

然而武漢科技大學心理學教授雷五明則認爲，大學生不能因爲戀愛可能告吹就對大學戀情避之不及。他說:“談戀愛的目的不僅僅是爲了結婚，也是爲了學習如何與異性相處。不管大學戀情以何種方式結束，學生們都能從中獲得重要的經驗”。