20幾歲的你需要明白了 生活其實不容易

When you’re a 20 something, you know you need to be mature because you’ve grown up. You’re seen as an adult, not a kid any more. It’s reality, and you really should face it. The faster you learn the most difficult life lessons, the sooner you can lead a great and successful life. Rich Tatum shared the most difficult things he wished he knew when he was 20 on quora:

當你已經二十幾歲了，你會明白自己已經長大了，需要變得成熟了。別人都不會再當你是個孩子了，而是會把你當做成年人一樣對待。這是你應該要面對的事實。你越早學會生活裏最難的課程，你就能越早地過上光彩成功的生活。裏奇· 塔特姆在quora上分享了他希望自己在20歲的時候就已經能夠明白的那些最不容易的事情。

hurts, but not as much as not loving.

愛人會有傷心的時候，但是不愛更傷心。

friendships you nurture will have a greater effect on your life than where you work or what you earn.

你精心栽培的友情對你的人生有很大影響，甚至超過了你工作的地方和學習到的知識。

are not your job. You are not your bankroll. You are not the sum of your possessions.

你的工作不是你的全部。你的工資單也不是你的全部。你更不是你所有財產的總和。

company does not love you. It has no heart. You are replaceable. Keep your parachute handy.

你的公司不會愛你。公司是沒有感情的。你是可替代的。隨時準備好自己的“跳傘”。

decisions will ever shape your future life more than who you choose to marry. To marry well, you must choose well.

你選擇和誰結婚是決定你未來人生的最重要的決定，沒有之一。和對的人結婚，前提是你要做出對的選擇。

is a commitment.

愛是一種承諾。

eve it or not, passions grow out of your values. Make early, wise choices to value what (and who) is good, trustworthy, and praiseworthy.

不管你信不信，激情來源於你的價值觀。早一點做出明智的選擇，明確對自己來說什麼或者誰纔是好的、值得信賴的以及值得稱讚的。

grity preserved is honor won.

保持完整的人格就是爲自己贏得的榮耀。

ice in your health. It fades fast.

爲自己健康的體魄感到高興，因爲健康容易很快消逝。

a passion. Pick a hobby, own it: photography, juggling—whatever. Get your 10K hours of perfect practice in early and change your life.

找到讓你感覺到激情的事情。選擇一個愛好，擁有它：攝影、雜技或者隨便什麼。早點享受猶如純10k金般珍貴的時間，從此改變你的生活。

’t bother comparing yourself to others—this only leads to heartbreak, anger, and disappointment.

不要與他人比較——這隻會讓你心碎、生氣或者失望。

disappointments grow from unmet expectations. Set realistic expectations for yourself, based on your strengths, then strive to exceed them.

失望大多來源於未能滿足的期望。根據自己的長處，給自己設置一些實際的期望，然後努力超越它們。

’t drive others to meet expectations they’ve committed to — lead, inspire, and help them do it.

不要逼着別人去完成他們已經在努力完成的目標——引導、鼓勵而且幫助他們完成目標。

’t set expectations for others when they haven’t or cannot commit to them.

如果別人還沒有決定或者沒有能力完成一些目標，那就不要給他們設置這些目標。

’t complain. Either change your situation, learn to cope, or change your perspective.

不要抱怨。你可以努力改變自己的處境、學習解決問題或者轉換一下自己的視角。

’t worry about making big bucks out of the gate, worry first about doing whatever you have to do excellently.

不要急着一出校門口就要賺大把的鈔票，先專注於自己可以出色地完成的事情。

le stuff matters—even in lowly jobs. The boss notices and even if not, your peers and colleagues do.

細節很重要——即使是在簡單的工作中。你的老闆會注意的，即使老闆沒有注意到，你的同學或同事也會注意到的。

mately, privacy is a myth: God sees everything. The cloud records everything. NSA files everything. So, live transparently and don’t waste useless energy hiding failures.

最後，真正的祕密是不存在的：上帝看得到所有的事情。雲朵記錄着一切。國家安全局把一切記錄在案。所以，請坦蕩地生活，不要浪費力氣去掩蓋失敗。

’t look down on others because they don’t have what you didn’t earn—your intellect, your beauty, and your culture of birth are undeserved gifts…be humble.

不要瞧不起別人因爲他們只是沒有你天生的一些東西——你的智力、你的美貌、你出生的環境等，這些都是你本來不該得到的饋贈。所以，謙虛點吧。

ure is an opportunity: no great man or woman ever achieved significance without great failures to learn from.

失敗同樣是一個機會：偉大的男人或者女人都是從巨大的失敗中吸取教訓後取得偉大成就的。

r withhold an apology when it’s merited. Deliver it quickly, sincerely, and personally—before resentment festers.

該道歉時就道歉。道歉的時間要儘快、態度要真誠，還要親自去道歉——趁怨恨還沒有滋生的時候。

don’t need to nurture old guilt when you’re forgiven. But remembering the shame can help you avoid repeats.

如果別人已經原諒你了，你就沒有必要再覺得愧疚了。但是記着，記住羞愧可以讓你避免重蹈覆轍。

belief in anything signifies little more than assent. It’s trust and behavior that reveal where convictions lie.

僅僅是相信一切也不過是一種附和。真正的信念來源於信賴和行動。

main thing you need to do quickly is to stop doing things quickly. Trade hurry for calm, confidence, and precision.

你要儘快做的事情主要就是不要再快速地做事情了。把快速轉變成冷靜、自信以及準確。

ybody needs an editor. Everybody.

每個人都需要一個編輯。每個人！

your work done first so you can play without guilt. Even better, make work play and the fun never ends!

先把工作做完，這樣你才能沒有負擔地玩了。更好的做法是，把工作當做一種樂趣，這樣你的快樂就無窮無盡了。

you want to develop your passion and gift, stop worrying about the things you do poorly. Go with your strengths!

如果你想要發展自己的激情和天賦，不要爲自己做得不好的事情焦慮了，專注於自己的長項!

d fights. Seriously. Avoid them like a plague: nobody wins in a fight, even if you walk away unscathed. But when a fight picks you, leave everything on the mat and give it your all. Hold nothing back.

避免鬥爭。說真的。就像躲瘟疫一樣躲避鬥爭：沒有人在一場鬥爭中勝出，即使你毫髮無損地離開了。但是，如果你被迫迎戰，放下一切，全力出擊，毫不保留！

you’re bored, you’re doing it wrong.

如果你覺得無聊，那就是你做事情的方式不對。

skills that will help your career most are the abilities to assimilate, communicate, and persuade. Keep learning.

最能幫助你的職業的是這些技巧：消化吸收新知識的能力、交流能力還有說服他人的能力。不斷學習！

ing in this life—no pain, no agony, no failure—compares to the eternal joy of Heaven. Live in light of eternity.

生活裏沒有什麼比得上天堂裏永恆的快樂——疼痛、痛苦或者失敗都是值得的。活在永恆的快樂中吧！

ect your joy. Nothing is easier to lose by over-thinking, overanalyzing, and second-guessing. On the other hand, always consider the long-term consequences of your choices: stupid decisions made in the moment can rob you of years of joy and happiness.

保護你的快樂。如果你想得太多、分析太多或者猜疑太多，那就很容易失敗。另一方面，永遠記得考慮你的選擇所帶來的長期後果：倉促作出的愚蠢決定可能會剝奪你好幾年的快樂和幸福。

purpose in life determines how you frame events. You can maintain your joy in the most dire circumstances if you find meaning for your life. Dig deep.

你生活的目的決定了你組織事情的方式。如果你找到了自己生活的意義，即使是在最糟糕的處境裏你也能保持愉悅。深入挖掘吧。

truly matters what you think about. Think well by reading good books, building good, loving relationships, having good conversation, and imitating great people.

你的思想真的很重要。通過讀好書、建立美好可愛的戀情、交心的談話還有模仿很棒的人來讓自己的思想有境界。

I’m still learning — in fact I haven’t fully appreciated most of the list I made, myself. And I’m still adding to it. But I’m getting better.

我還在不停地學習——實際上，我還沒有完全領會我所列出的清單。而且，我還在補充這個清單。但是，我變得越來越好了！