雙語散文:碟吻
My newlywed husband said the same thing every morning. "You're beautiful today."
我的新婚丈夫每天早晨都對我說出同樣的話。“你今天真美。”
One glance in the mirror revealed that it was far from the truth.
只需往鏡子裏一瞥就能揭示他說的根本不是事實。
A skinny girl with mashed hair on one side of her head and no makeup smiled back at me. I could feel my sticky morning breath.
鏡中的女孩瘦瘦的，亂亂的頭髮倒向頭的一側，沒有任何化妝，她微笑地望着我。我還能感到早晨起來嘴裏不大好聞的氣味。
“Liar,” I shot back with a grin.
“說謊，”我咧着嘴笑，回敬了他一句。
It was my usual response. My mother's first husband was not a kind man and his verbal and physical abuse forced her and her two children to find a safe place. He showed up on her doorstep one day with roses. She let him in and he beat her with those roses and took advantage of her. Nine months later she gave birth to a 9 lb. 13 oz. baby girl -- me.
我總是這樣回敬我的丈夫。我母親的第一個丈夫可不是個善良的男人，他粗暴的語言攻擊和身體虐待迫使我母親帶着兩個孩子去尋找一個安全的地方。有一天他出現在母親的門前，手裏拿着玫瑰花。她讓他進了門，但他卻用玫瑰花打她，並強行佔了她的便宜。9個月後她生了一個9磅12盎司重的女孩——就是我。
The harsh words we heard growing up took root. I had trouble seeing myself as someone of value. I had been married two years when I surprised myself. My husband wrapped his arms around me and told me I was beautiful.
長大過程中我們聽到的刺耳的話語也紮根在我心底。我難以把自己看作一個有價值的人。結婚兩年後我感到驚訝了。我的丈夫雙臂擁着我告訴我，我是美麗的。
“Thank you,” I said.
The same thin girl with the mousy3 brown hair still stared back at me in the mirror, but somehow the words had finally blossomed in my heart.
“謝謝你，”我說。
同樣瘦弱，一頭灰棕色頭髮的女孩在鏡中盯着我，但是溫柔的話語終於在我的心中開花了。
A lot of years have passed. My husband has grey in his hair. I'm no longer skinny. Last week I woke up and my husband's face was inches from mine.
許多年過去了。我的丈夫己經長出了灰髮。我也不再骨瘦如柴。上週的一天早晨我醒來時，我丈夫的臉離我只有幾英寸。
“What are you doing?” I asked.
“你在幹什麼？” 我問。
I covered my mouth, trying to hide my morning breath. He reached down and kissed my face.
我捂住嘴，不想讓他聞到嘴裏的氣味。他俯身過來親吻我的臉。
“What I do every morning,” he said.
“做我每天早晨都做的事。”他說。
He leaves in the early hours of the morning while I sleep. I miss our morning conversations, but I had not realized that he continued to tell me that he loved me even while I slept. When he left, I rolled over and hugged my pillow. I envisioned4 the picture of me lightly snoring5 with my mouth open and giggled.
他清晨就得離開家，我常常還在熟睡。我因我們早上沒有談話而感到遺憾，但是我還未曾意識到他一直在告訴我他愛我，哪怕是在我還睡着時。當他離開後，我在牀上翻過身去，抱着我的枕頭。我想象着我睡覺時輕輕打鼾，嘴巴還微微張着的樣子，不禁咯咯笑了。
What a man! My husband understands my past. He's been beside me as I've grown from an unsure young girl to a confident woman, mother, speaker and author.
這樣一個男人！我丈夫知道我的過去。在我從一個不自信的年輕女子變成一個成熟自信的女人、母親、演講者、作家的過程中，他一直在我身邊。
But I'm not sure that he understands the part he played in that transition6. The words I heard growing up pierced7 my soul, yet his words pierced even deeper.
但是我不確信他是否知道在這一變化過程中他起着怎樣的作用。伴我長大的話語曾刺入我的靈魂，但他的話語更是深深地感動了我的靈魂。
This Anniversary Day I plan to wake early. I want to tell Richard how much I love him. He may look in the mirror and see an extra pound or two, or wish for the day when his hair was dark and curly8, but all I'll see is the man who saw something in me when I couldn't see it myself, and who leaves butterfly kisses, even after twenty-three years of marriage.
今年的結婚週年紀念日我打算早點醒來。我要告訴理查德我是多麼地愛他。照鏡子時，他也許會發現又增加了一兩磅體重，或者期望有一天他的頭髮又是烏黑拳曲的，但是我所看到的是這樣一個男人，是他發現我身上具備什麼東西，而我未能發現，是他天天給我留下蝶吻，即使是在結婚23年後。
