英語小笑話6篇
本站小編爲大家整理的一些英語小笑話，希望我們的笑話欄目能夠給你的生活帶來一絲歡笑。
英語小笑話一：What are the Two Words?
A very nice old lady had a few words to say to her granddaughter. My dear, said the old lady, I wish you would do something for me. I wish you would promise me never to use two words. One is ‘lousy’ and the other is ‘swell’. Would you promise me that?
Why, sure, Granny, said the girl. What are the two words?
一個非常和藹的老夫人有幾句話要對她的孫女說。我親愛的，老夫人說，我希望你能幫我一個忙。我要你答應永遠不要用兩個詞，一個是“討厭的”，另一個是“極好的”。你能答應我嗎?
噢，當然，奶奶。女孩說：是哪兩個詞?
英語小笑話二：奇猜異想
Our physics professor was struggling to draw the class into discussion of Archimede's principle of water displacement. He told us that Archimede noticed that when he got into a pool at the public bathhouse, the water rose spilling over the edge. Excited at his discovery, he ran down the street yelling, "Eureka, eureka!" The instructor asked if anyone knew what that meant.
One student stood up and answered, "I'm naked ! I'm naked!"
我們的物理教授千方百計引導我們討論阿基米德的排水原理。他告訴我們阿基米德去公共浴池洗澡，他進入池子，發現水漲高了，溢出池沿。他對這一發現十分激動，跑到街上高叫：“Eureka，Eureka!”教授問我們誰知道他喊的是什麼意思。
一個學生站起來答道：“我光屁股啦，我光屁股啦!”
英語小笑話三:The Doctor Knows Better
A man was hit by a cab in the street. He was brought to the hospital. His wife who was standing up by his bed, said to the doctor: "I think that he is very ill."
"I am afraid that he is dead." said the doctor.
Hearing this, the man moved his head and said: "I'm not dead. I'm still alive."
"Be quiet, " said the wife. "the doctor knows better than you!"
一個男人在街上被出租車撞倒送進了醫院。他的妻子站在他的牀前對醫生說：“我想他傷得很厲害。”
醫生說：“恐怕他已經死了。”
聽到醫生的話，這個男人轉動着頭說：“我沒死，我還活着。”
妻子說：“安靜，醫生比你懂得多。”
I Don't Need to Steal Any More
The owner of a large department store went over hisbooks and discovered that his most trusted employee had stolenover a million dollars from the firm.“I want no scandal，” saidthe owner.“I'll just fire you.” The employee replied，“True，I robbed your firm of quitea tidy sum. I now have yachts， a country mansion， jewelry，and every luxury you can think of. I don't need a thing， sowhy hire somebody else and have him start from scratch?”
一家大百貨店的老闆在查帳中發現，他最信任的僱員從公司偷走了一百多萬美元。“我不要醜聞。”老闆說。“我只要開除你。”那個僱員回答說：“不錯，我是偷了你公司相當一大筆錢。現在我有遊艇、一座鄉村別墅、珠寶，以及你能想到的一切 奢侈品。我什麼都不需要了，你爲什麼要再僱個人來，讓他從頭做起呢?”
英語小笑話四：最醜的孩子?
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen."
一位女士抱着她的寶寶上公交車，司機看到後說：“額，那是我這輩子見過的最醜的小孩。”
The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me." The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."
女士走到車廂後面坐下，感到很憤怒。她對旁邊的男士說：“司機剛剛羞辱了我。”男士迴應說：“你快上去斥責他。去吧，我替你抱着你的猴子。”
英語小笑話五：A Man of Actions
A crowd of student was gathered on the campus of Oxford University. “You can have no doubt,” shouted a young man excitedly, “that if the Dean does not take back what he said to me this morning, I’ll leave Oxford this very evening!”
A buzzing noise followed. “What a man of actions!” one said in admiration. “How should we support him and learn from him!” said another.
Suddenly, a girl asked, “What did the Dean say to you, Hob?”
He bent and whispered to her, “Well,er???er???Miss Rose, er???he told me to get clean away from Oxford this very evening!”
一羣學生聚在牛津的校園裏，一個年輕人情緒激動地叫道：“毋庸置疑，如果那個傢伙不收回他今早 對我說的話，我今晚就離開牛津。”
下面一片喧譁。“真是個言出必行的人。”一個人豔羨地說。另一個說：“我們要支持他、學習他。”
突然，一個女孩問道：“那傢伙對你說什麼了，霍波?”
他彎下腰小聲說：“哦，呃…呃…，羅斯小姐，呃…他說要我今晚從牛津滾出去。”
英語小笑話六：If I Am a Manager
One day in class, the teacher assigned his students to write a composition – if I Am a Manager.
All the students began to write except a boy. The teacher went to him and asked the reason.
“I am waiting for my secretary,” was the boy’s answer.
一天課上，老師要同學們以“如果我是一個經理”爲題寫一篇作文。
所有的學生都在動筆寫了，只有一個男生例外。老師走過去問他爲什麼不寫。
“我在等我的祕書”。那孩子答道。
