有關幽默英語冷笑話精選

冷笑話是幽默的一種特殊的表現形式，主要流傳於網頁，微博，貼吧等。本文是有關幽默英語冷笑話，希望對大家有幫助!

　　有關幽默英語冷笑話：心裏難受

Feel Unhappy.

Son: Is it wrong to give anyone mental or physical hurt when he felt unhappy?

Father: Of cause, it is.

Son: Fine, now I am feeling so bad. I lost in two subjects this time.

Father(angrily): What? You------

兒子：是不是當心裏難受時，就不應該再給他精神或肉體上的刺激?

父親：那當然!

兒子：那好，這次我有兩門功課不及格，我現在心裏很難受。

父親(氣憤地)：什麼?你……

　　有關幽默英語冷笑話：Fried chicken

In class the teacher showed pictures of various birds. Then he asked one of the students, What kind of bird do you like best, Jack?

Jack thought a moment, then answered, Fried chicken, sir.

喜歡炸雞

老師在課堂上向學生們展示了各種各樣的鳥的照片。然後他問其中一名學生，“傑克，你最喜歡哪種鳥兒啊?”

傑想了想，回答，“炸雞，老師。”

　　有關幽默英語冷笑話：The Swimmer

The teacher told the class the story of a man who swam a river three times before breakfast.

Johnny laughed.

"Do you doubt that a good swimmer could do that?" asked the teacher.

"No, sir," answered Johnny, "but I wonder why he did not swim it four times and get back to the side where his clothes were."

老師給同學們講了一個小故事，說有一個人早飯前要在河裏游泳，橫渡三趟。

約翰尼笑了。

老師問道：“你不相信一個游泳很好的人可以做到麼?”

約翰尼回答說：“不是的，先生，我是不明白他爲什麼不遊四次，好回到他放衣服的那邊。”

　　有關幽默英語冷笑話：Dog In Heat

A little girl asked her Mom, "Mom, may I take the dog for a walk around the block?"

Mom replies, "No, because she is in heat."

"What's that mean?" asked the child.

"Go ask your father", answered the mother, "I think he's in the garage."

The little girl goes to the garage and says, "Dad, may I take Belle for a walk around the block? I asked Mom, but she said the dog was in heat, and to come to you."

Dad said, "Bring Belle over here." He took a rag, soaked it with gasoline, and scrubbed the dog's backside with it and said, "Okay, you can go now, but keep Belle on the leash and only go one time around the block."

The little girl left, and returned a few minutes later with no dog on the leash. Surprised, Dad asked, "Where's Belle?"

The little girl said, "She ran out of gas about halfway down the block, so another dog is pushing her home."

　　有關幽默英語冷笑話：Expanding Organ

The male teacher in a girls' school asked the science class: "Who can tell me what organ of the human body expands to 10 times its usual size when stimulated? Mary, can you tell me?"

Mary blushed furiously as she stood up. Then replied, "Sir, how dare you ask such a question? I will complain to my parents, who will complain to the principal."

The male teacher was taken aback at first by Mary's reaction. Then, as understanding dawned on him, he called for another pupil, this time a volunteer.

Lilly put up her hand. "Yes, Lilly?" asked the teacher.

"Sir, the correct answer is the iris of the eye."

"Very good. Thanks, Lilly," said the male teacher.

He then turned to the 1st girl, who threatened to complain to her parents and principal: "Well, Mary, I have 3 things to tell you:

First, you have NOT done your HOMEWORK.

Second, you have a DIRTY mind.

And thirdly, I fear, one day in future, you are going to be sadly disappointed!"

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