關於幽默英語笑話精選

日常生活中，語言是人們相互交流的基本工具，因此，很大一部分幽默效果都反映在語言層面上，笑話是幽默的語言表達。本站小編分享關於幽默英語笑話，希望可以幫助大家!

　　關於幽默英語笑話：Religious Bear

In the middle of a forest, there was a hunter who was suddenly confronted by a huge, mean bear. In his fear, all attempts to shoot the bear were unsuccessful. Finally, he turned and ran as fast as he could.

The hunter ran and ran and ran, until he ended up at the edge of a very steep cliff. His hopes were ng no way out of his predicament, and with the bear closing in rather quickly, the hunter got down on his knees, opened his arms, and exclaimed, "Dear God! Please give this bear some religion!"

The skies darkened and there was lightning in the air. Just a few feet short of the hunter, the bear came to an abrupt stop, and glanced around, somewhat confused.

Suddenly, the bear looked up into the sky and said, "Thank you, God, for the food I'm about to receive...."

　　關於幽默英語笑話：Money For Clothes

There is a girl walking up the stairs in a church one day. As the priest is walking by, he looks up and notices that this girl is not wearing any panties. He then calls the girl and gives her $50 and says "Little girl, take this money and buy yourself some panties as it is not good to walk around without any panties on."

The girl then goes home and gives the money to her mother and asks her mother to buy panties for her. When the mother asks where the girl got the money from, the girl explained what happened. Upon hearing how the girl got the money, the mother rushes to her room, whips off her panties, and puts on one of her shortest dresses and runs out to the church. As soon as the mother sees the priest coming, she begins to walk up the stairs. The priest then notices the lady and calls her down.

The woman not wanting to show that she is expecting anything walks back to the priest very calmly. The priest then gives the lady $1 and says, "Take this money and for God's Sakes, buy yourself a razor!"

　　關於幽默英語笑話：Anybody Seen?

The priest in a small Irish village was very fond of the chickens he kept in the hen house out the back of the parish rectory. He had a cock rooster and about ten hens.

One Saturday night the cock rooster was missing and the priest suspected that was the time the cock fights occurred in the village.

So he decided to do something about it at church the next morning.

At Mass, he asked the congregation, "Has anybody got a cock?" All the men stood up.

"No, No," he said, "that wasn't what I meant. Has anybody seen a cock?"

All the women stood up. "No, No," he said, "that wasn't what I meant. Has anybody seen a cock that doesn't belong to them?"

Half the women stood up. "No, No," he said, "that wasn't what I meant. Has anybody seen my cock?"

All the alter boys stood up.....

　　關於幽默英語笑話：Accepting The Commandments

God offered his tablet of commandments to the world. He first approached the Italians. "What commandments do you offer?" they said. He answered, "Thou shalt not murder." They answered "Sorry, we are not interested."

Next he offered it to the Romanians. "What commandments do you offer?" they said. He answered, "Thou shalt not steal." They answered, "Sorry, we are not interested."

Next he offered them to the French. "What commandments do you offer?" they asked. "Thou shalt notcovet they neighbors wife." "Sorry we are not interested," they answered.

Finally he approached the Jews. "How much?" they asked. "It's free," he answered. "We'll take ten!"

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