關於英語小笑話幽默精選
冷笑話是一種新興的語言現象,伴隨着網絡的普及它已經滲透到了青年羣體的日常生活,偶爾爆出的一兩句冷笑話能使交流氛圍變得輕鬆愉悅,也能展示交談者的幽默和智慧。本站小編整理了關於幽默英語小笑話，歡迎閱讀!
逮捕罪犯
The Los Angeles Police Department,the FBI,and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals.
洛杉磯警察局、聯邦調查局和中央情報局，都想要證明他們最會逮捕罪犯。
The President decides to give them a test.
於是總統決定要考考他們。
He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it.
他把一隻兔子放進森林，而他們每一個人都必須去抓它。
The CIA goes in.
中央情報局的人進去了。
They place animal informants throughout the forest.
他們在整個森林裏放置了動物通報器。
They question all plant and mineral witnesses.
他們質問所有的 植物和礦物證人。
After three months of extensive investigations they conclude that rabbits do not exist.
就在三個月的密集調查之後，他們得到的結論就是兔子不存在。
The FBI goes r two weeks with no leads they burn the forest ,
聯邦調查局韻人進去了。就在兩個星期都沒有線索之後，
killing everything in it,including the rabbit,and they make no apologies.
他們放火把森林燒了，殺光了裏面的一切，包括這隻，兔子在內 ，而且他們並沒有表現出歉意。
The LAPD goes come out two hours later with a baddly beaten bear.
洛杉礬警察局的人進去了。兩個小時之後，他們帶着一隻慘遭嚴重毆打的熊出來。
The bear is yelling;"Ok!I am a rabbit!I'm a rabbit!"
這隻熊大聲地喊着說：“好啦!好啦!我是兔子啦!我是兔子啦!”
關於幽默英語小笑話篇二牛肉三明治
A man went into a deli shop and took a seat at the lunch counter.
有一名男子走近一家熟食店，在吃午餐的櫃檯旁選了一個位置。
"Give me corned beef sandwich,"he ordered.
他點餐時說：“給我來個醃牛肉三明治。”
"Corned beef sandwich is not on the menu,but I can give you a sandwich with corned beef in it ,like our midnight Special."
"菜單上沒有醃牛肉三 明治，但是我可以給你一個裏面有醃牛肉的三明治，像是我們的午夜特餐。”
"What's a Midnight Special?"
“午夜特餐是什麼?”
"A triple decker with corned beef,tongue,bologna,tomato,lettuce,onion,pockle and mayonnaise,on toasted raisin bread."
“有三層，裏面是醃牛肉、牛舌、薰香腸、蕃茄、萵苣、 洋蔥、醃泡菜，還有美乃滋的三層烤葡萄乾麪包。…
"Could you just place a piece of corned beef between two slices of white bread and serve it to me on a plate?"
"你可不可以在兩片白麪包中間只放一片醃牛肉，裝在一個盤子上端給我吃?”
"Why,sure!"Then,turning to the sandwich man ,
“哦，當然可以。啦!”接着他就轉向製作三明治的人，
he sang out:"One Midnighet it one deck,hold the tongue,bolgna,tomato,lettuce,onion,pickle and mayonnaise,and make the raisin bread white,untoasted!"
大聲喊出：“一個午夜特餐。把它做一層就好，裏面不要加牛着、薰香腸、蕃茄、萵苣、洋蔥、醃泡菜和美乃滋，把葡萄乾麪包做成白麪包，不要烤!”
關於幽默英語小笑話篇三律師的忠告
A doctor and a lawyer were attending a cocktail party when the doctor was approached by a man who asked advice on how to hanle his ulcer.
有一位醫生和一位律師出席一場雞尾酒會，當時有一名男子走近這位醫生詢問有關如何處理他的潰瘍的忠告。
The doctor mumbled some medical advice,then turned to the lawyer and asked,
這位醫生就咕嚕咕嚕說了一些醫療上的忠告，然後轉向這位律師。
"How do you handled the situation when you are asked for advice during a social function?"
並問他：“當你在社交宴會場合中被人詢間忠告的時候，你都怎麼處理這個情形呢?”
"Just send an account for such advice" replied the lawyer.
這位律師回答說： “就寄出一張聽取忠告的賬單呀”。
On the next morning the doctor arrived at his surgery and issues the ulcer-stricken man a $50 account.
下一天早上，這位醫生來到他的診療窒;開出一張五十元賬單給這名罹患潰瘍的男子。
That afternoon he received a $100 account from the lawyer.
而在那天下午他竟然就收到一張從律師那裏寄來的一百元賬單。
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