我的妻子希望我們只是朋友關係
I'm 40, a professional, married to my wife for seven years - a second marriage for us both. Until recently, I thought we were very happy. She's the love of my life. Looking back, I can see that some of the romance and passion had disappeared, but we were very comfortable with each other. She never said anything to make me think she was unhappy.
我是一位40歲的職業人士，我和妻子已經結婚7年了--我們都是二婚。一直以來，我都覺得我們十分幸福--直到最近。她是我一生的摯愛。回首往事，我知道我們間的浪漫和激情褪去了，但我們卻相處的十分融洽。她從沒說過任何會讓我覺得她不高興的話。When we first started dating, she'd said she was never a very sexual person and didn't have a strong sex life with her ex-husband. So, when our sex life became less frequent, I assumed this was just not a priority.
剛開始約會的時候，她說她從來都不是一個性欲強的人，她和前夫的性生活也不是那麼和諧。所以，當我們的性生活越來越少時，我以爲這並不是什麼要緊事。Recently, she told me she was no longer attracted to me and hadn't been for a long time. I was severely shocked as I thought things were going great, we'd been making plans for the future. Yet she felt she may want to leave and explore a relationship with someone else.
近來，她告訴我她已經不再被我吸引，而且這種情況已經持續很長一段時間了。我非常震驚，因爲我覺得我們相處的很愉快，我們還一起爲未來做打算呢。但她卻想要離開，與別人開始一段戀情。
I later learned that one of her first loves had recently, suddenly, messaged her. Though she says she's dismissed him, it raised unresolved feelings in her. She realized that if someone from her past can make her feel buried passion, and then I can no longer bring that out in her.
後來我才知道，她的某一個初戀最近突然給她發短信了。雖然她說她沒理他，但卻讓她心緒複雜。她意識到，如果故人能讓她感受到被掩埋的激情，那麼我就再也無法讓她有這種感受。I'm feeling rejected and hurt. She wants to remain friends because she thinks I've become more of a friend than a lover. I wish she'd want to work on the relationship instead of just giving up and moving on.
我有種被拒的感覺、十分受傷。她希望我們還是朋友，因爲她覺得我更像她的朋友，而非愛人。我希望她能和我繼續這段感情，而不是放棄我、開始新的生活。I know I should tell her to leave so I can move on with my life and try to heal. But I'm having a hard time because I still love her and don't want to lose her. But if she starts dating someone else, that'll hurt even more and I don't want to be around to see it.
我知道我應該告訴她讓她離開，這樣我就能繼續我的生活、試着療傷。但我十分難過，因爲我仍舊愛着她、不想失去她。但如果她開始和別人約會，那麼我受的傷害會更大，我不希望見證這些事情的發生。How To Proceed?
如何繼續下去？It's a stark contrast - all the while you felt so happy with your wife, she was growing away from you gradually. Those opposite reactions may be her pattern, since she also lacked a strong sex life with her ex-husband. She may even be a woman who only feels passion when there's new excitement in her life.
這是一個鮮明的對比--你覺得和妻子生活得很開心，但她卻在漸漸遠離你。這些相反的反應可能是她的模式，因爲她和前夫的性生活也不和諧。她可能是那種生活中有新鮮刺激時纔會感到激情的女人。
