美國大學也有富二代 超酷新生vs超富新生

When I arrived at university in 1978 I was driven by my mother in an orange Citroën Dyane with a cardboard trunk containing a few books and my Patti Smith and Talking Heads LPs in the back.

1978年，我上大學的時候，是我媽媽用一輛橘色的雪鐵龍(Citroën) Dyane把我送到學校的。我帶了一個紙殼箱，裏面裝了幾本書，揹包裏裝着帕蒂•史密斯(Patti Smith)和傳聲頭像(Talking Heads)的黑膠唱片。

This year students starting university can make a bigger entrance, arriving by helicopter, private plane, MacLaren P1, Aston Martin, Rolls-Royce – or by horse and carriage. This is thanks to the Very Important Fresher service launched last week by Uni Baggage, which charges up to £35,000 to transport teenagers and their belongings to uni in style.

今年的大學新生可以更加華麗地登場，坐直升飛機、私人飛機、邁凱輪P1(MacLaren P1)、阿斯頓馬丁(Aston Martin)、勞斯萊斯(Rolls-Royce)——或馬車——來學校。這得益於Uni Baggage不久前推出的VIF（Very Import Fresher，尊貴新生）服務，收費最高達3.5萬英鎊，承諾將新生們和他們的行李別具一格地送達大學校園。

The service is not only aimed at unconscionably loaded foreign students who have not been told that Brits don’t do that sort of thing. According to the company, there is a small but growing slice of Britain that hasn’t been told this either. Increasingly, Brits want to be Very Important Freshers too.

這項服務不僅針對行李超多超重的外國新生（他們還不知道英國的規矩是，新生的行李一般比較簡單）。Uni Baggage表示，有一小部分英國新生也不知道這個規矩，並且這部分人的數量還在增加。英國新生也越來越想要當VIF了。

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Even those who can’t afford the helicopter are nevertheless arriving at university with much more luxurious kit than they used to. The other day I was in John Lewis – the department store patronised by the terminally un-flash, middle classes – to find it festooned with “Off to University” signs over expensive saucepans, duvets and cushions. On the website, the “essentials” list for students consists of more than 60 inessential items including an office chair. Click on the link, and it takes you straight to the Herman Miller model, priced at £899.

即便是那些坐不起直升飛機的新生，也帶着比過去奢侈得多的行李。那天我在約翰路易斯(John Lewis)，發現這家主要顧客爲絲毫不浮誇的中產階層的百貨商場，居然在昂貴的平底鍋、羽絨被和坐墊等商品上打出“開學季”的宣傳語。在它的網站上，爲新生準備的“開學必備”清單上包括60多種根本沒必要的東西，其中包括辦公椅。點擊辦公椅那一項，一款赫曼米勒(Herman Miller)牌辦公椅直接呈現在眼前，售價899英鎊。

At university in the late 1970s, the first rule for students with lots of money was to pretend they had none at all. I knew only one man who sometimes took me out to dinner in smart places – but he had the excuse of being American.

在上世紀70年代末的大學，有錢人家子弟的頭號原則就是，要假裝一文不名。我當時只認識一位有時帶我去高檔餐廳吃飯的男士，不過他是美國人，情有可原。

The new ostentation is so obviously a bad thing it is dull to say so. It’s bad for those who splash it about, and it’s bad for those with none to splash. Being poor as a student not only seems the natural order of things, it surely motivates you to be less poor later on.

這股新的擺闊風潮明顯不好，明顯到指出它來都是件沒勁的事。不管是對一擲千金的人，還是沒錢擺闊的人，它都不是好事。學生時代的貧窮不僅看上去再正常不過，還必然會激勵你以後努力讓自己富裕起來。

While it is depressing that vast riches are a socially acceptable status symbol for 18-year-olds, they are no worse than more traditional ways of lording it over others.

社會居然接受18歲孩子用大量財富來體現自己的地位，這一點固然令人沮喪，但這種方式並不比其他傳統逞威風方式更有害。

Two of my children have recently graduated from two different British universities and tell me that to stand out, money helps a bit, though not nearly as much as being cool. This is – and was – the top way of differentiating yourself and is done by following six pernicious and foolish cool rules.

我有兩個孩子最近從英國兩所不同的大學畢業，兩人告訴我，要想凸顯個性，金錢可以起一點點作用，但是跟擺酷比起來，金錢的作用要小得多。擺酷在現在和過去都是凸顯個性的首要方式。擺酷要遵循以下六條危險而愚蠢的原則。

The first way to be a Very Cool Fresher is to treat with disdain everything laid on by the university, shunning all freshers’ activities and holding your own parties instead – which is hard if you don’t know anyone. Next you must act unfriendly to almost everyone, save a few people you’ve deemed cool enough. This rather defeats the point of university which is to broaden, not narrow, horizons.

當“超酷新生”(Very Cool Fresher, VCF)的第一種方法是，對大學組織的一切都嗤之以鼻，拒不參加所有新生活動，而是自己組織聚會——這事兒對於誰都不認識的新生來說挺難的。其次，你必須對幾乎所有人愛搭不理，除了少數你認爲夠酷的人以外。這頗違背上大學的意義——上大學原本是爲了擴大（而不是縮小）你的視野。

Taking drugs, getting very drunk, chain-smoking roll-ups all help at being cool – as they always did – and they are still just as bad for you.

吸毒、豪飲、一支接一支地抽菸，都有助於增加酷感——一向如此——但毒品和菸酒仍然對你有害。

Being from London is eternally cool. Being from Swansea, anywhere in the countryside, Southampton, Hull, and everywhere else in the world save a few capital cities – is eternally not cool. This is tough, since there is not a lot you can do about where your parents live.

如果你來自倫敦，那酷極了。要是你來自斯旺西、鄉村地區、南安普敦、赫爾或世界其他任何地方（只除了幾個著名的首都），那就極不酷。這一條比較殘酷，因爲你的父母在哪裏生活，是你基本無法左右的。

Looking gorgeous is cool. And looking thin. So is wearing the right clothes. The first is unfair, the second dangerous, and the third a lot of hard work.

帥氣或漂亮很酷。纖瘦也酷。打扮入時同樣很酷。第一點是不公平的，第二點是危險的，第三點則很費工夫。

Being clever is also cool, and getting good marks in all assignments and getting a first-class degree is very cool – the catch being that visibly working hard is not. Being in the library at opening time is only cool if you’ve been up all night.

聰明也很酷，所有作業都得高分、以優等生獲得學位非常酷，不過有一個難題是，被人看到勤奮學習可不酷。只在一種情況下，在圖書館剛開門的時間出現在那裏很酷，那就是你整晚都沒睡。

While all these rules are familiar to me, they are more lethal now as the cool bar is set far higher. On my first day at university I felt passably cool in my apple green OshKosh dungarees – but that was only because half the girls were in tweeds and twinsets. Now that everyone can buy the same clothes online, to be really cool you have to spend half a lifetime combing vintage shops.

儘管這些擺酷原則在我聽來都很耳熟，但它們如今的危害更大，因爲如今酷的標準比以往高得多。大學入校第一天，我穿着蘋果綠的OshKosh工裝褲，已經勉強算酷了，但那是因爲當時一半的女生都穿着花呢和運動服套裝。如今每個人都能在網上買同樣的衣服，要真正酷起來，你必須窮盡半生在古着店裏蒐羅別緻的東西。

Being a VCF is also more punishing physically because no night out ends before breakfast time; in my day it was no shame for a cool person to go to bed at midnight. This makes it fantastically tough to be cool and do well, and doing well itself is even more important than it was for us, as we knew we’d all get decentish jobs at the end anyway.

當一名超酷新生對體力的挑戰也更大，因爲沒有哪個“有節目的夜晚”結束於早餐時間以前。在我那個時候，擺酷的學生午夜12點睡覺算不上羞恥。這使得擺酷和學習好變得很難兼得，而如今學習好對大學生更重要了，因爲在我們那個時候，大家都清楚，每個人最後都會找到不錯的工作。

So which is more lethal: the Very Cool Fresher, or the very rich one? I’m going for the former: at least the VRF might buy you a drink or take you for a ride in the Ferrari, having failed to notice that you are not cool enough to be worth bothering with.

那麼，哪一種學生危害更大：超酷新生，還是超富新生？我覺得是前者。至少超富新生有可能沒注意到你不是酷到值得理睬，而會請你喝杯酒，或邀請你坐他的法拉利(Ferrari)。