諾貝爾文學經典:《寵兒》第3章Part 13
"He saw them boys do that to me and let them keep on breathing air? He saw? He saw? He saw?"
"Hey! Hey! Listen up. Let me tell you something. A man ain't a goddamn ax. Chopping, hacking,busting every goddamn minute of the day. Things get to him. Things he can't chop down becausethey're inside."
Sethe was pacing up and down, up and down in the lamplight. "The underground agent said, BySunday. They took my milk and he saw it and didn't come down? Sunday came and he didn't. Monday came and no Halle. I thought he was dead, that's why; then I thought they caught him,that's why. Then I thought, No, he's not dead because if he was I'd know it, and then you comehere after all this time and you didn't say he was dead, because you didn't know either, so Ithought, Well, he just found him another better way to live. Because if he was anywhere near here,he'd come to Baby Suggs, if not to me. But I never knew he saw."
"What does that matter now?"
"If he is alive, and saw that, he won't step foot in my door. Not Halle."
"It broke him, Sethe." Paul D looked up at her and sighed. "You may as well know it all. Last timeI saw him he was sitting by the chum. He had butter all over his face."
Nothing happened, and she was grateful for that. Usually she could see the picture right away ofwhat she heard. But she could not picture what Paul D said. Nothing came to mind. Carefully,carefully, she passed on to a reasonable question.
"What did he say?"
"Nothing."
"Not a word?"
"Not a word."
“他看見了那些傢伙對我乾的事，還讓他們接着喘氣？他看見了？他看見了？他看見了？”
“嘿!嘿!聽着。你聽我說。一個男人不是一把該死的斧頭，去他媽的砍掉、劈掉、剁掉日子裏的每一分鐘。是倒黴事找的他。他砍不倒這些事，因爲它們屬於內心。”
塞絲踱來踱去，在燈光裏踱來踱去。“地下聯絡員說：最遲星期天。他們搶走了我的奶水，可他看見了卻沒下來？星期天到了，可他沒到。星期一到了，可還是沒見黑爾。我以爲他是死了，纔沒來；然後我以爲是他們抓住了他，纔沒來。後來我想，不對，他沒死，因爲他要是死了，我該知道；再後來，你過了這麼多年找到這兒來，也沒說他死了，因爲你也不知道，所以我想，好吧，他不過是給自己找到了更好的生路。因爲要是他在附近的什麼地方，就算不來找我，他也肯定會來找貝比·薩格斯的。可我根本沒料到他看見了。”
“事到如今，又有什麼關係呢？”
“假如他活着，而且看見了，他就永遠不會邁進我的門。黑爾不會。”
“他崩潰了，塞絲。”保羅·D擡眼看着她，嘆了口氣，“你全知道也好。我最後一次看見他的時候，他正坐在攪乳機旁。他塗了自己一臉的牛油。”
什麼事都沒有發生，她因此而心懷感激。一般來說，她能馬上看到她耳聞的畫面。可是她沒看到保羅·D講的事情。腦子裏什麼都沒出現。小心翼翼、小心翼翼地，她跳向一個適當的問題。
“他說了什麼嗎？”
“沒有。”
“一個字沒說？”
“一個字沒說。”
