他們在生命的岔路口相遇

"Promise me two things"
“答應我兩件事。”
Not today, Dad, I thought.
不，不要在今天，爸爸。我這樣想着。
Please not today.
求求你，別在今天說這樣的話。
But my plea went unheeded .
但我的祈禱沒有應驗
When my father had something to say, he said it.
當爸爸想要說什麼的時候，他就一定會說出口。
"Promise me I'll die in my own bed."
“答應我，我會死在自己的牀上。”
Really, Dad, can't this wait?
真要這樣嗎？爸爸？這件事就不能等一等嗎？
"Promise me I won't die alone."
“答應我，我不會孤孤單單的死去。”
There it was.
事情果然發生了。
Almost three years ago Dad asked me to make those promises .
三年前，我爸爸請我答應他這兩個請求
Foolishly, I promised him he would die in his own bed,
傻傻的我做出了承諾，我保證他會死在自己的牀上
and he wouldn't die alone.
並且，他不會孤孤單單的死去
Predictably, I broke both promises.
可想而知，我沒有實現自己的承諾
I gazed at my two-year-old grandson.
我看着自己兩歲的孫子
Yes, two years old today, his birthday.
是的，今天他滿兩歲了，今天是他的生日
I was babysitting
現在我正看着孩子
while his dad and mom shopped, buying, decorations,
他的父母忙着購物，採買裝飾品
an expensive bakery cake
他們還買了一個很貴的蛋糕
and overly indulgent gifts for the party later in the afternoon.
各種過分寵溺的生日禮物，一切都是爲了今天下午的派對
"Promise me two things."
“答應我兩件事”
He wouldn't let up.
他似乎不肯住嘴。
Stubborn in life, he was just as stubborn in death.
生前是個倔脾氣，死後他仍是個倔脾氣
Or perhaps that was me, stubborn in my own right.
又或者那是我自己，是我自己在對自己執拗
And why not?
爲什麼不能這樣呢？
I was his daughter, one of three.
我是父親的女兒，是他的三個女兒之一
We all seemed to have inherited his stubborn gene.
我們似乎都繼承了他倔強的性格基因
Thanks, Dad.
多謝了，老爸
"Promise me two things."
“答應我兩件事”
The voice from the grave.
這是來自生命彼岸的聲音
Or was it simply my own guilt ridden imagination?
又或者，這只是我備受歉疚感折磨的良心產生的想象？
Whichever, I wished it would leave me alone today.
無論如何，我都希望這個聲音不要在今天來煩我
Come on, Dad,
拜託了，爸爸
let me enjoy my grandson's birthday.
請讓我開開心心的度過孫子的生日吧
The little boy called to me,
我的小孫子 已經來到我面前
wanted me to see the masterpiece he was constructing in my yard.
他想讓我看看他在院子裏搭出的傑作
First things first.
事有先後
I lavished praise
我開始讚不絕口
and admiration on the little fellow's house – fort – whatever.
對這個小傢伙搭出的房子——還是說，城堡？——隨便叫它什麼吧——大肆讚美
He beamed up at me,
他對我咧嘴一笑
a smile that never failed to warm my heart.
這樣的微笑每次都能溫暖我的心
I blinked back my tears.
我竭力止住眼淚
Two years after my beautiful grandson was born.
距離我可愛的小孫孫出生那天，已經過去兩年了。
It was also two years to the day following my dad's death.
同樣過去兩年了，就在孫孫出生的前一天，我爸爸去世了
A memory so vivid.
記憶還是如此鮮活
I sat by my dad's hospital bed,
我坐在父親的病牀前
his home for the last month.
最後的這個月裏，病房就是他的家
Yes, it had been a full month
天吶，這個月夠我受的
since I had broken my first promise.
因爲我違背了自己的第一個諾言
But what else could I have done?
可是，我還能做什麼呢
The battle against his cancer was lost.
與癌症病魔的鬥爭已經失敗了
All that was left was to keep him comfortable
我們最後所能做的，就是讓他舒舒服服的
and manage his pain.
幫他止痛
My sisters were right.
我的妹妹是對的
It was too big a task for me,
這樣的負擔對我來說太過沉重
for all of us.
對我們三個都是如此
So we, I, decided his remaining days would be in a hospital.
所以，我們三個，我，決定他最後的日子應該在醫院度過
Determined to keep one of my promises,
但我決定一定要信守自己的第二個承諾
I made sure he was never alone.
我竭力確保他不是一個人
And then came that blessed, horrible day, exactly two years ago.
然後那個日子來了，那個既被祝福，又恐怖的日子，恰好就是兩年前的今天
It was early morning.
那是清晨的時候
I was alone with Dad,
我獨自和爸爸在一起
would be until the evening when one of my sisters promised to spare me.
我要守着他一整天，直到晚上，我的一個妹妹才能來換班
My son called on my cell, exuberant .
我兒子打來了電話，聲音萬分激動
It's started! Water broke.
他妻子已經發作了。羊水破了。
Now, if only my daughter-in-law could hold off delivery until my sister came.
現在，我只希望我的兒媳婦能忍住，到我妹妹來換班時再把孩子生下來
I heard only my dad's respiration and cardiac monitor, monotonous sounds,
我聽到爸爸的呼吸聲，還有心電儀的聲音，一切都那麼單調乏味
my dad's only voice for over a week.
一週以來，這是我爸爸發出的唯一的聲音
I couldn't stand it.
我已經忍無可忍
A nurse directed me to the maternity ward, two floors up.
一個護士帶我來到了婦產科的病區，就在父親的病區上面兩層樓
Mother is about to deliver.
我孫子的媽媽就要生了
Yes, everything is fine.
是的，情況很好
No, you can't go in.
但是你不能進去
Shall I show you to the family waiting room?
讓我把你帶到家屬休息室去吧？
I declined, thanking the nurse
我婉拒，謝過護士
as I headed back to the stairs.
然後轉頭衝下樓梯
I was too late.
但一切都太遲了
I knew before I reached his room,
在到達爸爸的病房前，我冥冥中就知道了
before I saw the nurses unhook his monitors.
我看到護士正把檢測儀的管子從爸爸身上摘下來
I broke my second promise.
我違背了我的第二個諾言
Dad had died alone.
爸爸是一個人孤孤單單的死去的
It had been a strange day,
那一天很奇怪
an emotionally exhausting day.
我感覺自己的所有情緒都被耗盡了
Joy, sorrow, guilt.
快樂，悲傷，歉疚
The miracle of new life, my grandson,
那個新誕生的生命的奇蹟，我的小孫孫
and a terrible failure, my broken promise.
還有一場慘痛的挫敗，我違背的諾言
"Promise me I will die in my own bed."
“答應我，我會死在自己的牀上”
"Promise me I won't die alone."
“答應我，我不會一個人孤孤單單的去死”
It was all too much.
我感到難以承受
I sat on the grass and wept,
我坐在草地上，低聲哭泣起來
my head buried in my hands.
我把臉埋在兩隻手下面
I felt two little hands, little but strong,
但我感到兩隻手的觸碰，小小的，卻強而有力
pull my own hands away from my face.
把我的手從我臉上拿開
I looked into the smiling face of my Grandson.
在我眼前，是小孫孫的笑臉
"Poppa!"
“曾爺爺！”
I blinked, looked at him closely.
我疑惑的眨眨眼睛，直直的看着他
"Poppa!"
曾爺爺！
The little boy pulled on my hand,
小傢伙拉着我的手
compelled me to stand and follow him into the house.
要我站起來，跟着他走進屋裏
He led me into my living room
他把我帶到客廳
and pointed to a drawer in the desk.
指着桌子下面的抽屜
"Poppa."
曾爺爺！
I opened the drawer and took out the picture, Dad's s picture,
我打開抽屜，拿出一張照片，爸爸的照片
My father, a handsome man,
我的爸爸，一個英俊的男人
smiling out at a world full of optimism and hope.
正對着鏡頭微笑，笑容中滿滿的樂觀和希望
The picture been taken six months before the diagnoses ,
這張照片是他被診斷爲癌症前六個月拍的
before the world became full of suffering and pain.
在整個世界充滿折磨和痛苦之前
"Poppa!" My grandson held the picture, smiling.
“曾爺爺！”小孫孫拿着照片微笑道。
A smile full of optimism and hope.
笑容中滿滿的樂觀和希望
How had he known about that photo?
他怎麼會知道這張照片呢？
How did he know it was his great grandfather?
他怎麼會知道，照片上的是他的曾爺爺？
I had never shown him the picture,
我從沒給他看過這張照片
had never taken it out of the drawer since shortly after my dad's death.
爸爸死後沒多久，我就把它收進了抽屜，從未取出來過
A new life entering the world exactly the moment an old life leaves.
一個新生命來到這個世界時，恰好另一個老的生命離開
Could these two lives have somehow passed each other,
或許，這兩個生命早就相遇過
maybe even knew each other?
甚至，他們已經相識？
Two souls passing,
兩個靈魂擦肩而過
one entering the world, the other departing.
一個要進入這個世界，另一個要離開
Perhaps Dad didn't die alone after all.
或許，爸爸並不是一個人孤孤單單的死去
Of course I'll never really know.
雖然，我永遠也無法知道真相
My dad still talks to me on occasion.
有的時候，我還能感覺到爸爸對我說話
His words still make me cry, but for a different reason.
他說的話仍會讓我淚流滿面，但卻是出於另一種原因
"This is my daughter, with whom I am well pleased."
我常聽到他說，“這是我的女兒，我對她十分滿意。”