狄更斯雙語小說:《董貝父子》第47章Part4

'It is enough,' said Edith, after a pause, 'to know what it is; why, matters little. Dear Florence, it is better - it is necessary - it must be - that our association should be less frequent. The confidence there has been between us must be broken off.'
'When?' cried Florence. 'Oh, Mama, when?'
'Now,' said Edith.
'For all time to come?' asked Florence.
'I do not say that,' answered Edith. 'I do not know that. Nor will I say that companionship between us is, at the best, an ill-assorted and unholy union, of which I might have known no good could come. My way here has been through paths that you will never tread, and my way henceforth may lie - God knows - I do not see it - '
Her voice died away into silence; and she sat, looking at Florence, and almost shrinking from her, with the same strange dread and wild avoidance that Florence had noticed once before. The same dark pride and rage succeeded, sweeping over her form and features like an angry chord across the strings of a wild harp. But no softness or humility ensued on that. She did not lay her head down now, and weep, and say that she had no hope but in Florence. She held it up as if she were a beautiful Medusa, looking on him, face to face, to strike him dead. Yes, and she would have done it, if she had had the charm.
'Mama,' said Florence, anxiously, 'there is a change in you, in more than what you say to me, which alarms me. Let me stay with you a little.'
'No,' said Edith, 'no, dearest. I am best left alone now, and I do best to keep apart from you, of all else. Ask me no questions, but believe that what I am when I seem fickle or capricious to you, I am not of my own will, or for myself. Believe, though we are stranger to each other than we have been, that I am unchanged to you within. Forgive me for having ever darkened your dark home - I am a shadow on it, I know well - and let us never speak of this again.'
'Mama,' sobbed Florence, 'we are not to part?'
'We do this that we may not part,' said Edith. 'Ask no more. Go, Florence! My love and my remorse go with you!'
She embraced her, and dismissed her; and as Florence passed out of her room, Edith looked on the retiring figure, as if her good angel went out in that form, and left her to the haughty and indignant passions that now claimed her for their own, and set their seal upon her brow.
From that hour, Florence and she were, as they had been, no more. For days together, they would seldom meet, except at table, and when Mr Dombey was present. Then Edith, imperious, inflexible, and silent, never looked at her. Whenever Mr Carker was of the party, as he often was, during the progress of Mr Dombey's recovery, and afterwards, Edith held herself more removed from her, and was more distant towards her, than at other times. Yet she and Florence never encountered, when there was no one by, but she would embrace her as affectionately as of old, though not with the same relenting of her proud aspect; and often, when she had been out late, she would steal up to Florence's room, as she had been used to do, in the dark, and whisper 'Good-night,' on her pillow. When unconscious, in her slumber, of such visits, Florence would sometimes awake, as from a dream of those words, softly spoken, and would seem to feel the touch of lips upon her face. But less and less often as the months went on.

“知道事實是怎麼樣的，這就夠了，”伊迪絲停了一下，說道，”至於爲什麼這樣做，這無關緊要。親愛的弗洛倫斯，我們應當少來往一些，這樣比較好--這是必要的--，必須是這樣。我們相互間一直保持着的親密無間的友誼必須斷絕。”
“什麼時候？”弗洛倫斯喊道，”啊媽媽，什麼時候？”
“現在，”伊迪絲說道。
“今後永遠這樣嗎？”弗洛倫斯問道。
“我沒有說這一點，”伊迪絲回答道，”我不知道這一點。我也不說，我們的伴侶關係充其量只是不適宜、不正當的。不過我可以知道，這種伴侶關係不會有好處。我到這裏所走過的道路是經過許多你將永遠也不會走的小路的。我今後的道路--天知道通往哪裏--我看不見它。”
她的消逝了，然後沉寂了；她坐在那裏，看着弗洛倫斯，幾乎要從弗洛倫斯身邊退縮；在她眼光中流露出某種奇怪的恐懼與竭力迴避的神色，弗洛倫斯以前有一次也曾注意到這同樣的神色。接着她的全身和臉上頓時顯露出與那一次同樣陰鬱的高傲與憤怒的激情，就像一架瘋狂的豎琴的弦上忽然激烈地彈奏出憤怒的聲調一樣。可是隨之而來的不是溫柔或謙恭。她這一次沒有低下頭，沒有哭，也沒有說，她沒有別的希望，她的一切希望都寄託在弗洛倫斯身上了。她高昂着頭，彷彿她是美麗的美杜莎一樣，面對面地看着人，以便殺死他。是的，如果她掌握了這種魔力的話，她真會這樣做的。
“媽媽，”弗洛倫斯憂慮地說道，”除了您對我所說的之外，您還發生了一種使我吃驚的變化。讓我在您身邊多待一會兒吧。”
“不，”伊迪絲說道，”不，最親愛的。我現在最好是單獨一個人，我最好避開你。別向我提任何問題，只請你相信：當我似乎對你三心二意，反覆無常的時候，我不是出於本意，也不是爲了我自己。請相信，雖然我們彼此比過去疏遠，但我在內心裏對你並沒有改變。請原諒我把你的暗淡的家庭變得更加暗淡了--我很清楚，我是投射在你家的一個陰影。讓我們永遠別再談論這一點吧。”
“媽媽，”弗洛倫斯哭泣道，”我們將不會分離吧？”
“我們這樣做就正是爲了使我們可以不分離，”伊迪絲說道，”別再問什麼。走吧，弗洛倫斯！我的愛和悔恨伴隨着你！”
她擁抱了她，然後放開讓她走；當弗洛倫斯走出房間的時候，伊迪絲目送着這離開的人兒，彷彿她的善良的守護神已化爲一個形象離開了她，把她留下，聽憑高傲與憤怒的情緒支配；現在這兩種激情佔據了她，在她的前額上表露出來。
從這時候起，弗洛倫斯和她不再像以前一樣經常待在一起。她們在好多天中很少見面，只有在用餐和董貝先生在場的時候除外。在這種場合，伊迪絲威嚴，堅定，沉默，一眼也不看她。當有卡克先生參加時（在董貝先生恢復健康期間及以後，這是時常有的情形），伊迪絲就比平時更避開她，對她更疏遠冷淡。可是當她單獨和弗洛倫斯相遇、旁邊沒有其他人的時候，她就像過去一樣情深意切地擁抱她，雖然她那高傲的神色已不像過去一樣變得那麼溫柔了。當她夜間從外面回來晚了的時候，她時常像過去一樣，悄悄地摸着黑暗走進去。