"艱難的決定"惡搞版口語表達

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360和騰訊的網絡大戰爆發後，網友調侃騰訊致用戶信——“我們剛剛做出了一個艱難的決定……”編寫了許多小段子發泄憤怒。

Here is Tencent's original open letter:

When you see this letter, we have just made a difficult decision. Before Qihoo360 stops infringing upon and slandering QQ, we have decided to stop running QQ on computers installed with 360's software.

騰訊公開信原文：

當您看到這封信的時候，我們剛剛作出了一個非常艱難的決定。在360公司停止對QQ進行外掛侵犯和惡意詆譭之前，我們決定將在裝有360軟件的電腦上停止運行QQ軟件。

Here are some jokes from netizens:

Microsoft:

When you see this letter, we have just made a difficult decision. Because two Chinese programs have severely affected our Windows services, until you stop using 360 and QQ, we have decided to suspend the operation of Windows in China.

微軟：

當您看到這封信的時候，我們剛剛作出了一個非常非常非常非常艱難的決定，由於中國兩家互聯網公司的兩款軟件嚴重的干擾了我們的windows服務。在您停止使用360和QQ之前，我們決定暫停所有大中華區的windows服務。

NOKIA

We have just made a difficult decision. If our mobile phones detect an iPhone within 10 meters, they will automatically explode.

諾基亞

我們剛剛作出了一個非常非常非常非常艱難的決定。如果監測到十米以內有iPhone手機，我們的手機將自動引爆。

Master Kong

We have just made a difficult decision. If we found you have eaten another type of instant noodle, our products will be sold to you without flavouring.

康師傅

我們剛剛作出了一個非常非常非常非常艱難的決定。如果我們監測檢測到您之前食用過其它品牌的方便麪，您購買的方便麪內將不配調料。

Baidu

We have just made a difficult decision. If we detect that you have visited Google, your Baidu ID will be automatically blocked.

百度

我們剛剛作出了一個非常非常非常非常艱難的決定。如果我們檢測到您之前訪問過谷歌，您的百度賬號將被自動屏蔽。