直男們 願意來一場男男約會嗎(上)

THE delicateposturing began with the phone call.

微妙的故作姿態始於一通電話。

The proposal wasthat two buddies back in New York City for a holiday break in December meet tovisit the Museum of Modern Art after its major renovation.

兩個在去年12月的假期回到紐約的朋友，決定約着一起去全面裝修後重新開門的現代藝術博物館(Museum of Modern Art)看看。

"Heexplicitly said, 'I know this is kind of weird, but we should probablygo,"' said Matthew Speiser, 25, recalling his conversation with JohnPutman, 28, a former classmate from Williams College.

他也說了，‘我知道這有點怪怪的，但是我們應該去看看，’25歲的馬修·斯潘塞(Matthew Speiser)談到當時與28歲的約翰·普特曼(John Putman)通話時說道。兩人在威廉姆斯大學(Williams College)唸書的時候是同班同學。

The weirdness wasapparent once they reached the museum, where they semi-avoided each other asthey made their way through the galleries and eschewed any public displays ofconnoisseurship.

來到博物館，怪怪的氣氛就變得很明顯了。他們在展廳裏走動時，有些特意避開對方，並且儘量避免讓自己看上去很會欣賞的樣子。

"Wedefinitely went out of our way to look at things separately," recalled MrSpeiser, who has had art-history classes in his time.

我們特地各看各的，曾經上過藝術史課的斯潘塞說道。

"We probably both pretended to know less about the art than we did."

我們拖着步子，假裝自己並不太懂藝術。

Eager to cut thetension following what they perceived to be a slightly unmanly excursion -- twoguys looking at art together -- they headed directly to a bar.

兩個男人一起去看藝術展，這種行爲讓他們覺得有點不太爺們兒，因此急切地希望緩解那種緊張狀態，於是他們又去了一家酒吧。

"We couldn'tstop talking about the fact that it was ridiculous we had spent the whole daytogether one on one," said Mr Speiser, who is straight, as is Mr Putman.

我們不停地說，我們倆黏在一起已經一整天了，這太扯了，斯潘塞說道；他和普特曼都是直男。

"We werepurging ourselves of insecurity."

我們這是在清除自己的不安全感。

Anyone who finds adate with a potential romantic partner to be a minefield of unspoken rulesshould consider the man date, a rendezvous between two straight men that iseven more socially perilous.

如果你覺得與潛在戀愛對象約會是一個充滿了潛規則的雷區，那就想想男男約會，兩個直男的約會在社交上的風險甚至更大一些。

Simply defined aman date is two heterosexual men socializing without the crutch of business orsports.

你可以把男男約會簡單地定義爲兩個異性戀男子，進行與生意和體育無關的社交活動。

It is two guysmeeting for the kind of outing a straight man might reasonably arrange with awoman.

兩個男性一起出去玩，做一些放到男女之間恐怕就顯得合情合理的事情。

Dining togetheracross a table without the aid of a television is a man date; eating at a baris not.

比如在同一張桌子上面對面地吃飯，但又沒有在看電視，這就是男男約會；在酒吧吃飯就不是。

Taking a walk inthe park together is a man date; going for a jog is not.

一起在公園裏散步是男男約會；慢跑不是。

Attending themovie "Friday Night Lights" is a man date, but going to see the Jetsplay is definitely not.

去看電影《勝利之光》(Friday Night Lights)是，而一起去看航空展肯定不是。

"Sideways,"the Oscar-winning film about two buddies touring the central California wine countryon the eve of the wedding of one of them, is one long and boozy man date.

奧斯卡獲獎影片《杯酒人生》(Sideways)講述了一名即將結婚的男子與另一名男子前往加州中部的葡萄酒產地旅行，這就是一次漫長的、酒意襲人的男男約會。

Although "mandate" is a coinage invented for this article, appearing nowhere in theliterature of male bonding (or of homosexual panic), the 30 to 40 straight meninterviewed, from their 20's to their 50's, living in cities across thecountry, instantly recognized the peculiar ritual even if they had notconsciously examined its dos and don'ts.

儘管男男約會的說法是爲了寫這篇文章生造出來的，從未出現在關於兄弟情誼（或者同性戀恐慌）的文獻裏，但受訪的30至40名直男——年齡在20幾歲至50幾歲之間，居於全國各地的城市——立刻就辨別出了這種約會的特別禮儀，即便他們此前並未有意識地審視過參與者該做什麼、不該做什麼。

Depending on theactivity and on the two men involved, an undercurrent of homoeroticism that maybe present determines what feels comfortable or not on a man date, as MrSpeiser and Mr Putman discovered in their squeamishness at the Modern.

就像在現代美術館時刻小心翼翼的斯潘塞和普特曼所發現的那樣，男男約會中可能出現的一股同性愛暗流，決定着在整個約會過程中什麼是讓人感到自在或不自在的，具體情況則視約會所牽涉的活動和兩個男人而定。

Jim O'Donnell, aprofessor of business and economics at Huntington University in Indiana, whosaid his life had been changed by a male friend, urges men to get over theirdiscomfort in socializing one on one because they have much to gain from theemotional support of male friendships.

印第安納州亨廷頓大學(Huntington University)商科和經濟學教授吉姆·奧唐奈(Jim O'Donnell)說，一個男性友人改變了他的生活，他極力主張男人應該克服在一對一社交活動中產生的不適感，因爲男性友誼所能帶來的情感支持會讓他們獲益良多。

(Women understandthis instinctively, which is why there is no female equivalent to the awkwardman date; straight women have long met for dinner or a movie without a secondthought.)

（女人生來就明白這一點，因此女女約會從來都沒有男男約會的那種尷尬；直女們總是不假思索地相約共進晚餐或者看電影。