世紀文學經典:《百年孤獨》第13章Part1

IN THE BEWILDERMENT of her last years, úrsula had had very little free time to attend to the papal education of José Arcadio, and the time came for him to get ready to leave for the seminary right away. Meme, his sister, dividing her time between Fernanda's rigidity and Amaranta's bitterness, at almost the same moment reached the age set for her to be sent to the nuns' school, where they would make a virtuoso on the clavichord of her. úrsula felt tormented by grave doubts concerning the effectiveness of the methods with which she had molded the spirit of the languid apprentice Supreme Pontiff, but she did not put the blame on her staggering old age or the dark clouds that barely permitted her to make out the shape of things, but on something that she herself could not really define and that she conceived confusedly as a progressive breakdown of time. "The years nowadays don't pass the way the old ones used to," she would say, feeling that everyday reality was slipping through her hands. In the past, she thought, children took a long time to grow up. All one had to do was remember all the time needed for José Arcadio, the elder, to go away with the gypsies and all that happened before he came back painted like a snake and talking like an astronomer, and the things that happened in the house before Amaranta and Arca-dio forgot the language of the Indians and learned Spanish. One had to see only the days of sun and dew that poor José Arcadio Buendía went through under the chestnut tree and all the time weeded to mourn his death before they brought in a dying Colonel Aureli-ano Buendía, who after so much war and so much suffering from it was still not fifty years of age. In other times, after spending the whole day making candy animals, she had more than enough time for the children, to see from the whites of their eyes that they needed a dose of castor oil. Now, however, when she had nothing to do and would go about with José Arcadio riding on her hip from dawn to dusk, this bad kind of time compelled her toleave things half done. The truth was that úrsula resisted growing old even when she had already lost count of her age and she was a bother on all sides as she tried to meddle in everything and as she annoyed strangers with her questions as to whether they had left a plaster Saint Joseph to be kept until the rains were over during the days of the war. No one knew exactly when she had begun to lose her sight. Even in her later years, when she could no longer get out of bed, it seemed that she was simply defeated by decrepitude, but no one discovered that she was blind. She had noticed it before the birth of José Arcadio. At first she thought it was a matter of a passing debility and she secretly took marrow syrup and put honey on her eyes, but quite soon she began to realize that she was irrevocably sinking into the darkness, to a point where she never had a clear notion of the invention of the electric light, for when they put in the first bulbs she was only able to perceive the glow. She did not tell anyone about it because it would have been a public recognition of her uselessness. She concentrated on a silent schooling in the distances of things and peoples voices, so that she would still be able to see with her memory what the shadows of her cataracts no longer allowed her to. Later on she was to discover the unforeseen help of odors, which were defined in the shadows with a strength that was much more convincing than that of bulk and color, and which saved her finally from the shame of admitting defeat. In the darkness of the room she was able to thread a needle and sew a buttonhole and she knew when the milk was about to boil. She knew with so much certainty the location of everything that she herself forgot that she was blind at times. On one occasion Fernanda had the whole house upset because she had lost her wedding ring, and úrsula found it on a shelf in the children's bedroom. Quite simply, while the others were going carelessly all about, she watched them with her four senses so that they never took her by surprise, and after some time she discovered that every member of the family, without realizing it, repeated the same path every day, the same actions, and almost repeated the same words at the same hour. Only when they deviated from meticulous routine did they run the risk of losing something. So when she heard Fernanda all upset be cause she had lost her ring, úrsula remembered that the only thing different that she had done that day was to put the mattresses out in the sun because Meme had found a bedbug the might before. Since the children had been present at the fumigation, úrsula figured that Fernanda had put the ring in the only place where they could not reach it: the shelf. Fernanda, on the other hand, looked for it in vain along the paths of her everyday itinerary without knowing that the search for lost things is hindered by routine habits and that is why it is so difficult to find them.
The rearing of José Arcadio helped úrsula in the exhausting task of keeping herself up to date on the smallest changes in the house. When she realized that Amaranta was dressing the saints in the bedroom she pretended to show the boy the differences in the colors.
"Let's see," she would tell him. "Tell me what color the Archangel Raphael is wearing."

在最後幾年的混亂中，烏蘇娜還來不及抽出足夠的空閒時間來好好地教育霍·阿卡蒂奧，使他能夠當上一個教皇，而送他去神學院的時間就已到了，所以不得不慌倉倉地準備。霍·阿卡蒂奧的妹妹梅梅是由嚴峻的菲蘭達和沮喪的阿瑪蘭塔共同照顧的，幾乎同時達到了可以進入修道院學校的年齡；她們想在那兒把她培養成爲一個出色的鋼琴手。烏蘇娜疑慮重重地覺得，把萎靡不振的人培養成爲教皇，她的方法是不夠有效的，但她並不歸咎於自己的老邁，也不怪遮住視線的一片雲曦，——透過這片雲曦，她只能吃力地辨別周圍各種東西的輪廓，——而一切都要怪她自己還不確切瞭解的某種現象，她只模糊地覺得那種現象就是世態的惡化。“現在的年月跟從前完全不同啦，”她感到自己把握不住每天的現實，抱怨地說。從前，她想，孩子長得挺慢嘛。只消回憶一下就夠了：在她的大兒子霍·阿卡蒂奧跟吉卜賽人逃走之前，過了鄉長的時間啊，而在他全身畫得象一條蛇，說着星相家怪里怪氣的話，回到家裏的時候，發生了多少事情啊，而且在阿瑪蘭塔和阿卡蒂奧忘掉印第安語、學會西班牙語之前，家中什麼事沒有發生呀！再想想吧，可憐的霍·阿·布恩蒂亞在菜樹下面呆了多少個日日夜夜，家裏的人爲他哀悼了多久，然後奄奄一總的奧雷連諾上校纔給擡回家來，當時他還不滿五十歲，並且經歷了那麼長久的戰爭和那麼多的苦難。從前，她成天忙於自己的糖果，還能照顧子孫，憑他們的眼白就知道該把蓖麻油滴在他們眼裏。現在她完全空閒下來，從早到晚僅僅照顧霍·阿卡蒂奧一個人的時候，由於時世不佳，她幾乎無法把任何一件事兒幹完了。實際上，烏蘇娜即使年事已高，但是仍不服老：她什麼事都要操心，任何事都要管，而且總是詢問外來的人，他們曾否在戰爭時期把聖約瑟夫的石膏像留在這兒，等雨季過了就來取走。誰也不能確鑿地說，烏蘇娜是什麼時候喪失視覺的。即使在她生前的最後幾年，她已經不能起牀時，大家還以爲她只是老朽了，誰也沒有發現她完全瞎了。烏蘇娜自己是在霍·阿卡蒂奧出生之前不久感到自己快要失明的。起初，她以爲這是暫時的虛弱，悄悄地喝點兒骨髓湯，在眼裏滴點兒蜂蜜；可她很快就相信自己正在絕望地陷入黑暗。烏蘇娜對電燈始終沒有明確的概念，因爲馬孔多開始安裝電燈時，她只能把它當成一種朦朧的亮光。她沒有向任何人說她快要瞎了，因爲這麼一說就是公開承認自己無用了。烏蘇娜揹着大家，開始堅持不懈地研究各種東西之間的距離和人的聲音，想在白內障的陰影完全擋住她的視線時，仍能憑記憶知道各種東西的位置。隨後，她又意外地得到了氣味的幫助；在黑暗中，氣味比輪廓和顏色更容易辨別，終於使別人沒有發現她是瞎子。儘管周圍一片漆黑，烏蘇娜還能穿針引線，繚扣門，及時發現牛奶就要煮沸。她把每件東西的位置記得那麼清楚，有時甚至忘了自己眼瞎了。有一次，菲蘭達向整座房子大叫大嚷，說她的訂婚戒指不見了，烏蘇娜卻在小孩兒臥室裏的隔板上找到了它。道理是很簡單的：當其他的人在房子裏漫不經心地來來去去時，烏蘇娜就憑自己剩下的四種感官注意別人的活動，使得誰也不會突然撞着她；很快她就發現，而家裏的每個人卻沒覺察到。他們每天走的都是同樣的路，重複同樣的動作，同樣的時匆幾乎說同樣的話。只有偏離常規的時候，他們纔會失掉什麼東西。所以，聽到菲蘭達哭哭叫叫。烏蘇娜就想起，菲蘭達這一天所做的唯一不同的事兒，是把孩子牀上的褥墊拿出去曬，因爲昨夜在孩子牀上發現了臭蟲。因爲收拾房間時孩子們在場，烏蘇娜就以爲菲蘭達準把戒指放在孩子們唯一夠不着的地方——隔板上。恰恰相反，菲蘭達卻在平常來來去去的地方尋找戒指，不知道正是日常的習慣使她難以找到失去的東西。
撫養和教育霍·阿卡蒂奧的事，也幫助烏蘇娜知道了家中發生的甚至最小的變化。譬如，只要聽見阿瑪蘭塔在給臥室裏的聖像穿衣服，她就馬上假裝教孩子識別顏色。
“看，”她向孩子說，“現在告訴我吧：天使拉斐爾的衣服是啥顏色呀？”