《美食祈禱和戀愛》Chapter 58 (126):控制思考

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On first glance, this seems a nearly impossible task. Control your thoughts? Instead of the other way around? But imagine if you could? This is not about repression or denial. Repression and denial set up elaborate games to pretend that negative thoughts and feelings are not occurring. What Richard is talking about is instead admitting to the existence of negative thoughts, understanding where they came from and why they arrived, and then—with great forgiveness and fortitude—dismissing them. This is a practice that fits hand-in-glove with any psychological work you do during therapy. You can use the shrink's office to understand why you have these destructive thoughts in the first place; you can use spiritual exercises to help overcome them. It's a sacrifice to let them go, of course. It's a loss of old habits, comforting old grudges and familiar vignettes. Of course this all takes practice and effort. It's not a teaching that you can hear once and then expect to master immediately. It's constant vigilance and I want to do it. I need to do it, for my strength. Devo farmi le ossa is how they say it in Italian. "I need to make my bones."

乍看之下，這項任務簡直不可能達到。控制你的思考？而不是相反過來？但如果假想你做得到的話……？這可無關乎壓抑或否定。壓抑與否定，是去巧妙地假裝負面的思考和感覺並未出現。理查說的是，就去承認負面思考的存在，瞭解其來源及發生的原因，而後——以巨大的寬恕與毅力——予以打發。這種練習與任何一種心理諮詢治療都相輔相承。你能利用心理醫師診所，瞭解自己最初何以出現這些毀滅性的想法；你能利用靈脩，幫助你克服這些想法。當然，放掉這些想法是一種犧牲。使你喪失舊有的習慣、舒適的過節、熟悉的插曲。這些當然都得費力練習。這不是聽一次就能預期立即上手的課程，這是日夜不懈的課程。我想做到，我得做到，爲了我的力量着想。就像意大利人說的“Devo，意即“我得製作我的骨頭”。

So I've started being vigilant about watching my thoughts all day, and monitoring them. I repeat this vow about 700 times a day: "I will not harbor unhealthy thoughts anymore." Every time a diminishing thought arises, I repeat the vow. I will not harbor unhealthy thoughts any-more. The first time I heard myself say this, my inner ear perked up at the word "harbor," which is a noun as well as a verb. A harbor, of course, is a place of refuge, a port of entry. I pictured the harbor of my mind—a little beat-up, perhaps, a little storm-worn, but well situated and with a nice depth. The harbor of my mind is an open bay, the only access to the island of my Self (which is a young and volcanic island, yes, but fertile and promising). This island has been through some wars, it is true, but it is now committed to peace, under a new leader (me) who has instituted new policies to protect the place. And now—let the word go out across the seven seas—there are much, much stricter laws on the books about who may enter this harbor.

於是我開始整天警醒地觀察自己的思考，予以監控。我每天把這段誓言重複念上七百遍：“我不再讓不健康的思考在此停泊。”每當出現消極想法，我便把誓言重念幾遍“我不再讓不健康的思考在此停泊。”頭一次念，我內在的耳朵在聽見“停泊”一詞的時候揚了起來。我想到避難所進入的港。我想象心中有個港口——或許有點老舊，有點滄桑，但地點適中，水深剛好。我心中的港口是個開敞的海灣，前往自我（沒錯，雖是一座年輕的火山島，但土地肥沃，前景看好）的唯一通道。這座島的確經歷過戰爭，如今卻在新領導人（我）的指導下，真心維護和平，制定新政策，保護這座島嶼。而現在——讓這消息傳諸七海——有更嚴格的法律規定誰能夠進入這座港口。

You may not come here anymore with your hard and abusive thoughts, with your plague ships of thoughts, with your slave ships of thoughts, with your warships of thoughts—all these will be turned away. Likewise, any thoughts that are filled with angry or starving exiles, with malcontents and pamphleteers, mutineers and violent assassins, desperate prostitutes, pimps and seditious stowaways—you may not come here anymore, either. Cannibalistic thoughts, for obvious reasons, will no longer be received. Even missionaries will be screened carefully, for sincerity. This is a peaceful harbor, the entryway to a fine and proud island that is only now beginning to cultivate tranquillity. If you can abide by these new laws, my dear thoughts, then you are welcome in my mind—otherwise, I shall turn you all back toward the sea from whence you came.

暴力的思考、瘟疫的思考、奴役的思考、惡劣的思考，都再也進不來——一概被拒之港外。同樣地，裝滿憤怒或捱餓的流亡者、反叛者和煽動者、暴動者和刺殺者、鋌而走險的妓女、皮條客和偷渡者的思考——你們也不得進入。同類相殘的思考，出於顯而易見的理由，也不再受招待。甚至傳教士也得予以盤查，檢查其誠意。這是和平港口，通往安詳自豪，如今纔開始培養平靜的島嶼。你若遵守這些新規則——我親愛的思想——我的心就歡迎你，否則，就把你趕回海上去。

That is my mission, and it will never end. Eat, Pray, Love