《美食祈禱和戀愛》Chapter 106 (256):她當然在耍你

A nice fancy hotel?

Ah.

That's when suddenly I go deaf and the birds stop singing and I can see Wayan's mouth moving but I'm not listening to her anymore because a thought has just come, scrawled blatantly across my mind: SHE'S FUCKING WITH YOU, GROCERIES.

I stand up, say good-bye to Wayan, walk home slowly and ask Felipe point-blank for his opinion: "Is she fucking with me?"

He has not ever commented upon my business with Wayan, not once. "Darling," he says kindly. "Of course she's fucking with you." My heart drops into my guts with a splat.

"But not intentionally," he adds quickly. "You need to understand the thinking in Bali. It's a way of life here for people to try to get the most money they can out of visitors. It's how everyone survives. So she's making up some stories now about the farmer. Darling, since when does a Balinese man need to talk to his wife before he can make a business deal? Listen—the guy is desperate to sell her a small parcel; he already said he would. But she wants the whole thing now. And she wants you to buy it for her."

I cringe at this for two reasons. First of all, I hate to think this could be true of Wayan. Second, I hate the cultural implications under his speech, the whiff of colonial White Man's Burden stuff, the patronizing "this-is-what-all-these-people-are-like" argument.

But Felipe isn't a colonialist; he's a Brazilian. He explains, "Listen, I grew up poor in South America. You think I don't understand the culture of this kind of poverty? You've given Wayan more money than she's ever seen in her life and now she's thinking crazy. As far as she's concerned, you're her miracle benefactor and this might be her last chance to ever get a break. So she wants to get all she can before you go. For God's sake—four months ago the poor woman didn't have enough money to buy lunch for her child and now she wants a hotel?"

"What should I do?"

"Don't get angry about it, whatever happens. If you get angry, you'll lose her, and that would be a pity because she's a marvelous person and she loves you. This is her survival tac-tic, just accept that. You must not think that she's not a good person, or that she and the kids don't honestly need your help. But you cannot let her take advantage of you. Darling, I've seen it repeated so many times. What happens with Westerners who live here for a long time is that they usually end up falling into one of two camps. Half of them keep playing the tourist, saying, ‘Oh, those lovely Balinese, so sweet, so gracious . . . ," and getting ripped off like crazy. The other half get so frustrated with being ripped off all the time, they start to hate the Balinese. And that's a shame, because then you've lost all these wonderful friends."

"But what should I do?"

"You need to get back some control of the situation. Play some kind of game with her, like the games she's playing with you. Threaten her with something that motivates her to act. You'll be doing her a favor; she needs a home."

"I don't want to play games, Felipe."

不錯的豪華飯店？

啊。

突然間我成了聾子，鳥兒不再歌唱。我看見大姐的嘴在動，但我不再聽到她說話，因爲一個想法突然出現，公然掠過我的腦海：她在耍我。

我站起身，和大姐道別，慢慢走路回家，直截了當地詢問斐利貝的意見："她真的在耍我嗎？"他不曾對我和大姐的事情發表評論，一次都沒有。

"甜心，"他體貼地說，"她當然在耍你。"我的心沉到谷底。

"但她不是故意的，"他很快接着說："你得了解巴厘島人的思考邏輯。儘量榨取遊客的錢，是當地人的生活方式，也是每個人的生存方式。因此她現在要捏造有關農人的故事。甜心，巴釐男人打什麼時候開始需要跟老婆商量生意的事？聽着——那傢伙急着賣她一小塊地；他已經說願意賣。但她現在想要買整塊地。她要你爲她而買。"

我不敢苟同這個說法，有兩個原因。首先，我不願意相信大姐真的會這麼做。其二，我不喜歡他的言論底下所蘊涵的文化意味，那種殖民者的"白種男性負擔"之類的氣息，"這些人都像怎樣怎樣"的父權論調。

但斐利貝不是殖民者，他是巴西人。他解釋說："聽着，我這個南美人在窮困中長大。你以爲我不瞭解這種貧困文化？你給大姐的錢，是她這輩子想都想不到的數量，而她現在有了瘋狂想法。在她而言，你是她的奇蹟恩人，這可能是她最後一次的大好機會。讓老天來評評理吧——四個月前，這個可憐的女人甚至沒有足夠的錢爲她的孩子買午餐，但是現在她竟然想開飯店！"

"那我該怎麼辦呢？"

"切勿動怒，無論發生什麼事。你若動怒，就會失去她，這很可惜，因爲她是個了不起的人，而且愛你。這是她的生存手法，就接受這個事實吧。切勿把她看做壞人，切勿以爲她和孩子們不是真的需要你幫忙。但你不能讓她佔你便宜。甜心，我看過這種事情一再發生。在此地長住的西方人，往往落入兩個陣營。半數人持續扮演遊客角色，說："喔，這些可愛的巴厘島人，真親切，真優雅"……卻被坑得很慘。另一半人對自己老是被坑感到灰心喪氣，於是開始討厭巴厘島人。這是可恥的事，因爲這讓你失去所有這裏的好朋友。"

"但我該怎麼做？"

"你得扳回局面。跟她玩些把戲，就像她跟你玩把戲一般。以其人之道，反治其人。那麼你終究幫了她的忙；她需要一個家。"

"我不想玩把戲，斐利貝。"