《美食祈禱和戀愛》Chapter 51 (109):我有出息
Richard from Texas has some cute habits. Whenever he passes me in the Ashram and no-tices by my distracted face that my thoughts are a million miles away, he says, "How's David doing?"
德州理查有一些可愛的習慣。每當在道場和我擦身而時，從我六神無主的表情留意到我的思維飄到十萬八千里之外，他便說：“大衛好嗎？”"Mind your own business," I always say. "You don't know what I'm thinking about, mister."
“甭管閒事，”我總是說，“你不清楚我在想什麼，先生。”Of course, he's always right.
當然他總未猜錯。
Another habit he has is to wait for me when I come out of the meditation hall because he likes to see how wigged out and spazzy I look when I crawl out of there. Like I've been wrest-ling alligators and ghosts. He says he's never watched anybody fight so hard against herself. I don't know about that, but it's true that what goes on in that dark meditation room for me can get pretty intense. The most fierce experiences come when I let go of some last fearful re-serve and permit a veritable turbine of energy to unleash itself up my spine. It amuses me now that I ever dismissed these ideas of the kundalini shakti as mere myth. When this energy rides through me, it rumbles like a diesel engine in low gear, and all it asks of me is this one simple request—Would you kindly turn yourself inside out, so that your lungs and heart and offal will be on the outside and the whole universe will be on the inside? And emotionally, will you do the same? Time gets all screwy in this thunderous space, and I am taken—numbed, dumbed and stunned—to all sorts of worlds, and I experience every intensity of sensation: fire, cold, hatred, lust, fear . . . When it's all over, I wobble to my feet and stagger out into the daylight in such a state—ravenously hungry, desperately thirsty, randier than a sailor on a three-day shore leave. Richard is usually there waiting for me, ready to start laughing. He always teases me with the same line when he sees my confounded and exhausted face: "Think you'll ever amount to anything, Groceries?"
他還有個習慢，走出禪堂時等我，因爲他喜歡看我氣得吹鬍子瞪眼爬出來的模樣，好像我纔跟鱷魚惡鬼打過架。他說從未見過哪個人跟自己交戰得如此激烈。這我不清楚。不過在那間黑暗的禪堂內，對我而言，情況的確可能變得相當激烈。當我放開最後一絲恐懼，讓一股能量沿着脊柱驅使而上之際，一種強烈體驗於焉到來。“昆達利尼莎克蒂”竟被我當做一種誇張的說法，如今想來甚是好笑。這股能量通過我時，像低速檔的柴油引擎隆隆作響，只對我有個簡單的請求——“能不能請你朝外翻轉，讓你的五臟六腑攤在外面，而整個宇宙變成在你裏面？能不能請你也以同樣方式處理感情？”在轟隆隆的空間中，所有的時間混在一起，我——僵硬的、無言的、受驚的我——被帶往各式各樣的世界裏去，我體驗到每一種感官強度：火、冷、恨、欲、憂慮……結束時，我搖搖晃晃地站起身來，蹣跚走入白晝中，處在一種比上岸休三天假的水手更如飢似渴的狀態。理查通常在那兒等着我，準備開始取笑我。他看見我困惑疲倦的面容時，總是拿相同的話嘲笑我：“食品雜貨，你想你會不會有一天變得有出息點？”But this morning in meditation, after I heard the lion roar YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW STRONG MY LOVE IS, I came out of that meditation cave like a warrior queen. Richard didn't even have time to ask if I thought I'd ever amount to anything in this life before I looked him eye to eye and said, "I already have, mister."
可是這天早晨的禪坐，在我聽見“你無法想象我的愛有多麼強烈”的獅吼之後，我像勇士皇后般走出禪坐洞。甚至沒等理查問我覺得自己這輩子能否有一天有出息，我正視着他說：“我有出息了，先生。”"Check you out," Richard said. "This is cause for celebration. Come on, kiddo—I'll take you into town, buy you a Thumbs-Up."
“你通過了考驗，”理查說“我們該慶祝慶祝。來吧，老姐——我帶你進城，請你喝‘大拇指’。”Thumbs-Up is an Indian soft drink, sort of like Coca-Cola, but with about nine times the corn syrup and triple that of caffeine. I think it might have methamphetamines in it, too. It makes me see double. A few times a week, Richard and I wander into town and share one small bottle of Thumbs-Up—a radical experience after the purity of vegetarian Ashram food—always being careful not to actually touch the bottle with our lips. Richard's rule about traveling in India is a sound one: "Don't touch anything but yourself." (And, yes, that was also a tentative title for this book.)
“大姆指”是一種印度的軟性飲料，有點像可口可樂，卻大約是九倍糖漿，三倍咖啡因。我想可能還放了甲基安非他命。喝下後使我眼睛發花。理查和我每個禮拜進城數次，共享一小瓶“大拇指”——在道場的純淨素食後，是一種激進的體驗——我們總是小心翼翼不讓自己的嘴脣碰到瓶子。在印度旅遊，理查有項明智的規定：“別碰任何東西，除了你自己。”（是的，這也是本書暫定的書名。）
