《美食祈禱和戀愛》Chapter 45 (96):和神說話
Thoughts come, but I don't pay much attention to them, other than to say to them in an almost motherly manner, "Oh, I know you jokers . . . go outside and play now . . . Mommy's listening to God."
想法進來了，但我未多加留意，只是用近乎母性的態度跟這些想法說：“喔，我知道你們是淘氣鬼……去外頭玩吧……媽咪在聽神說話。”
Ham-sa.
宏——撒。
I am That.
我是他。
I fall asleep for a while. (Or whatever. In meditation, you can never really be sure if what you think is sleep is actually sleep; sometimes it's just another level of consciousness.) When I awake, or whatever, I can feel this soft blue electrical energy pulsing through my body, in waves. It's a little alarming, but also amazing. I don't know what to do, so I just speak internally to this energy. I say to it, "I believe in you," and it magnifies, volumizes, in response. It's frighteningly powerful now, like a kidnapping of the senses. It's humming up from the base of my spine. My neck feels like it wants to stretch and twist, so I let it, and then I'm sitting there in the strangest position—perched upright like a good Yogi, but with my left ear pressed hard against my left shoulder. I don't know why my head and neck want to do this, but I'm not going to argue with them; they are insistent. The pounding blue energy keeps pitching through my body, and I can hear a sort of thrumming sound in my ears, and it's so mighty now that I actually can't deal with it anymore. It scares me so much that I say to it, "I'm not ready yet!" and snap open my eyes. It all goes away. I'm back in a room again, back in my surroundings. I look at my watch. I've been here—or somewhere—for almost an hour.
有一段時間，我睡着了。（無論如何稱之皆可。禪坐當時，你永遠無法確知自己認爲的“睡着”就是“睡着”；有時只是另一種意識層次。）醒來時，我感覺到某種柔和的藍色電能，以水波流動的方式通過我的身體。這令人有些驚恐，卻也十分美妙。我不知如何是好，因此只對內心的這股能量說：“我相信你。”於是這股能量做出反應，放大、延展。此刻的它，強大得令人恐懼，猶如感官遭到綁架。它從我的背脊底部往上哼唱。我的脖子感覺想伸展扭曲，於是我聽其自然，而後我以最奇特的姿勢坐在那裏——像瑜伽好手那樣挺直而坐，左耳卻緊緊貼住左肩。我不清楚自己的頭和脖子爲何想這麼做，但我不想和它們爭辯，它們很堅持如此做。澎湃的藍色能量持續在我體內做俯仰運動，我聽見耳朵裏有嗚嗚響聲，如此有力，竟然使我再也無法承受。我非常害怕，於是對它說“我還沒準備好”，啪地睜開眼睛。一切消失而去。我又回到房間裏，回到周圍的環境。我看錶。我已待在這裏——或某個地方——將近一個小時。
I am panting, literally panting.
Eat, Pray, Love
我喘着氣，的的確確喘着氣。
