《美食祈禱和戀愛》Chapter 81 (189):生命中的角色

Until this evening, I still wasn't sure what my role was in Ketut Liyer's life. Every day I've been asking him if he's really sure he wants me around, and he keeps insisting that I must come and spend time with him. I feel guilty taking up so much of his day, but he always seems disappointed when I leave at the end of the afternoon. I'm not teaching him any English, not really. Whatever English he already learned however many decades ago has been cemented into his mind by now and there isn't much space for correction or new vocabulary. It's all I can do to get him to say, "Nice to see you," when I arrive, instead of "Nice to meet you."

在這一晚之前，我仍然不確知自己在賴爺生命中的角色。每天我都問他是否確定要我待在身邊，他始終堅持要我來和他共度時光。佔用他這麼多時間，令我感到內疚，可是到了傍晚我離開之時，他似乎總是悵然若失。我並未真的教他英語。他在幾十年前學的英語，老早深印在腦子裏，沒有太多空間更正或增加新字彙。我能做的只是在剛來的時候教他把"高興認識你"更正爲"高興見到你"。

Tonight, when his last patient had left and Ketut was exhausted, looking ancient from the weariness of service, I asked him whether I should go now and let him have some privacy, and he replied, "I always have time for you." Then he asked me to tell him some stories about India, about America, about Italy, about my family. That's when I realized that I am not Ketut Liyer's English teacher, nor am I exactly his theological student, but I am the merest and simplest of pleasures for this old medicine man—I am his company. I'm somebody he can talk to because he enjoys hearing about the world and he hasn't had much of a chance to see it.

今晚，最後一名病患離去時，賴爺已經筋疲力竭，辛勞的服務使他看起來很蒼老，我問他是否我該走了，讓他有點私人空間，他答說："對你，我永遠有時間。"而後他請我告訴他一些有關印度、美國、意大利、我家人的事情。此時我才意識到，我不是賴爺的英語教師，也不是他的神學學生，而是這位老藥師最簡單純粹的喜樂——我是他的同伴朋友。我是能讓他講話的人，因爲他喜歡聽世界的事，儘管他沒有很多機會去看這個世界。

In our hours together on this porch, Ketut has asked me questions about everything from how much cars cost in Mexico to what causes AIDS. (I did my best with both topics, though I believe there are experts who could have answered with more substance.) Ketut has never been off the island of Bali in his life. He has spent very little time, actually, off this porch. He once went on a pilgrimage to Mount Agung, the biggest and most spiritually important volcano on Bali, but he said the energy was so powerful there he could scarcely meditate for fear he might be consumed by sacred fire. He goes to the temples for the big important ceremonies and he is invited to his neighbors' homes to perform weddings or coming-of-age rituals, but most of the time he can be found right here, cross-legged upon this bamboo mat, surrounded by his great-grandfather's palm-leaf medical encyclopedias, taking care of people, mollifying demons and occasionally treating himself to a cup of coffee with sugar.

在陽臺的時光，賴爺問過我許多問題，墨西哥買車多少錢，艾滋病的病因，等等。（我盡己所能回答這兩個問題，儘管我相信能更具體回答這些問題的專家所在多有）。賴爺一輩子不曾離開巴厘島。事實上，他很少離開自己的陽臺。他曾去巴厘島最大、最具宗教重要性的火山——阿貢山（MountAgung）朝聖，但他說那兒的能量十分強大，使他幾乎無法禪坐，唯恐自己被神聖之火吞沒。他去各寺廟參加各大重要慶典，他本身亦受邀前往左鄰右舍家中主持婚禮或成年禮，但多數時間都能在他家陽臺找到他；他盤腿坐在竹蓆上，四周環繞着曾祖父的棕櫚葉藥籍，照料人們，攆走惡魔，偶爾享受一杯加糖咖啡。

"I had a dream from you last night," he told me today. "I had a dream you are riding your bicycle anywhere."

"我昨晚夢見你，"他今天告訴我，"夢見你騎單車上任何地方去。"

Because he paused, I suggested a grammatical correction. "Do you mean, you had a dream that I was riding my bicycle everywhere?"

他停頓了下來，於是我提出一處文法更正。"你是說，你夢見我騎單車去"每個地方"？"

"Yes! I dream last night you are riding your bicycle anywhere and everywhere. You are so happy in my dream! All over world, you are riding your bicycle. And I following you!"

"對！昨晚我夢見你騎單車去每個地方和任何地方。你在我夢中很快樂！你騎車走遍全世界！我跟隨在你身後！"

Maybe he wishes he could . . .

或許他希望自己辦得到……

"Maybe you can come see me someday in America, Ketut," I said.

"也許你哪天來美國找我，賴爺。"我說。

"Can't, Liss." He shook his head, cheerfully resigned to his destiny. "Don't have enough teeth to travel on airplane." Eat, Pray, Love

"不行，小莉，"他搖頭，愉快地聽從自己的天命，"我的牙齒已經不夠搭飛機旅行了。"